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English
Darliing I never got past the first paragraph.
The story did not seem bad but your incorrect use of grammar and inability to spell is a major distraction. Such things as pair for pear as in shaped butt. Convince instead of convinced, just to many little things totally distracted from your story. I dont know how far you got in school or whether English is your second, third, or fourth language, it would greatly benefit you to get a proof reader and technical advisor for your writing. Hopefully you will rewrite this story and resubmit it so that one can read it without having to mentally correct things along the way.
Not bad! Keep it up.
Looking forward to future chapters. Wonder how Concha would handle it if some of her students came to the strip club? What about one of her fellow teachers/coaches? Would she be forced to put on a private show in her little schoolgirl outfit? Keep up the good work.
Great Job!! Forget the other comment...
I'd like to respond to the negative comment left before. I think maybe the person leaving this particularly mean comment might want to take her(I assume it's written by a woman from the distinctly bitchy feel)own advice...it's "too many" if you're indicating quantity, darling.
I loved this story and think the author has great potential. I believe technical errors can be easily corrected, but talent for content is much more difficult to achieve. Kudos and keep the great work coming :)xoxo jessica
Comments
The person giving U a neg comment, What R U, a fucking English teacher? I have found mistakes in a lot of the stories on Lit. If it bothers U, stop and go on to another story.
I liked UR story, and will read more.
Felt, not left
You're using it incorrectly in every story.
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