All Comments on 'Faithfulness'

You get a few points for imagination but your story is entirely too short, and then you JERK the reader in a terrible direction which is entirely too abrupt and it goes completely unexplained. Was he sick? What's the background on their marriage? You need to take the time to build characters within the storyline and then tell the story of an unfaithful whore. The twist could have been made interesting but you failed in that regard, but you can get better in the next story. You have imagination, just take some time to effectively build a story and move from there.

Shame on you for leaving us hanging, wondering whether Janine and Ben got away with murder! Enjoyed the read, thank you.

In the feedback portal I noticed the 'horrible' comment and just had to see what was going on here. Once I started to read the story, I really enjoyed the writing style until the events came to a sudden end, giving the impression of another episode in a series. The idea of remaining faithful to a lover was suggested somewhere, and that's an interesting concept if a little knowledge of the husband's behavior is included to give it balance. As it stands, Janine sounds like the wicked woman in more ways than one.

Well must ask why do men marry such women who fuck around on them. Personality defect I guess.

...start looking over your shoulder. This cheating homocidal slut will tire of you too. She knows the solution.

Thanks for sharing.

well in one sense I do of course. This story REAAAAAALY needs to be a lot longer or in sequel and I know this author is certainly up to the task.

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But early on the wife says

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<i>She knew what faithfulness meant and she'd remain faithful to him until death.</i>

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clearly Ben is not her husband so the faithfulness she is thinking about only applies to Ben.

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You see how can cheaters be faithful to each other?

Monogamous yes but FAITHFUL? and by the end of the story she is thinking of fucking the driver...

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see I dont get her undertsanding of that concept.

If the author's INTENT was an ending with a twist... Or maybe the author wanted to just surprise us, but with this abrupt ending - with so little characterization - with so many questions about these characters and the plot - this story is just too confusing to give it a higher rating. You did arouse my curiosity, but that was just it. This story needed to be longer. As it is, it comes out lazy.

I believe you call the kind of false thoughts as we see here by the impact on the reader; namely- Irony. You have reality x, let's say a certain pattern of behavior demonstrated by chracter A. Then character A conveys a belief y reg her behavior which is the opposite of what could have been concluded from her behavior x. The tension or the contradiction between the two creates the ironic effect, usually aimed at Chracter A. <P>

I have always believed that at the bottom, all cheaters are by defenition walking self ironies as they try to cheat someone and the reality is that they all cheat them selves re. the actual impact of what they do both at present and in the future. You created a very nice elegant (and humorous) story which demonstrates rather than preaches this principle.

If this writer was 1000% better than he is, this "story" still wouldn't be worth the effort of constructing a comment.

Some folks think that if a writer is confusing, cute, mysterious without meaning, etc, that the story is great. Other folks recognize it for what it is...pretentious gobbledygook!<p>

Have a good day!

It opens well enough, then takes a sharp detour before ramming into a plot twist which doesn't exactly work because there's no set-up. As for the husband's sudden death, this leaves more questions hanging than it attempts to answer. Part of the problem is indeed the length: you simply haven't given yourself enough room to explore the themes raised.

I like quirky, but this is more of too much untold to leave us any satisfaction of what has really or possibly transpired. “Harry VA” has his points also!<P>Thanks for the entertainment<P>PT

In the arts you can appreciate a quick sketch for what it is -a portrayal of an attitude; a single line which is highlighted, rather than a fully detailed oil painting with full depiction of every detail and mood. That's why we have different genres. It seems to me like too many of the stories are too similar in their structure –partly because any author who ever tries some different structure get penalized for being innovative or simply different.

All this does is jerk the reader around without anywhere enough set-up to make any kind of sense. Even the title doesn't fit the story.

Faithfulness must be a different word in her dictionary. She is not faithful unto death for her husband, her lover and probably not the driver either. As much as I hate the term, she is best described as a slut. No, I have it figured out now; Faithful unto death is her idea of being faithful unto herself. When she has only herself as a target for love she is faithful.

"Well, y'know, the other day, I was in the park, walking, with my dick out in the open. There was a woman, a beautiful woman, rung by and for some reason, her vagina just went plop onto my dick. We had fund. The end." <p>

I mean, wtf! That's no story!

There doesn't need to be likable characters and/but plot clarity is very dim here also. Contradiction without some clarity makes the mountain too high to want to climb.<P>

So, the only likable character is dead or killed by ? leaves me without any positive emotion including arousal - which is what this site is almost all about - or so I thought.<P>

Puzzling and so another well written negative in his portfolio. Given multiple choices - I wonder why?

HarryinVa she is nothing but a faithless wife she should have been the one to have a heart attack instead of David the husband then Ben .

Pat

I agree with the comment expressing the sentiment that it's the wife who SHOULD have gotten the heart attack, not the husband. I believe the author would have no problem agreeing with this sentiment too. His description of her is as hypocritical cold beach or at best clueless dumb slut. The difference here is that he does not go out and feed us this statement with a spoon. Instead, he does it indirectly through the third person all knowing narrator POV, who inserts his perspective by letting you see the irony in the faithfulness vows of a routine cheater. For me the surprising ending of her planning to cheat on the partner to her previous cheating was A. funny B different C. Certainly worthy of title ‘a story’ and a good one at that. Still, I respect those who can't stand seeing only the point of view of the bad character - even when the author makes it clear that that character is ridiculous.

What less can I say?

But, I have a serious problem with the main characters in this story. There is no protagonist in this story. It can't be the husband he died in the beginning. The other two characters are total pieces of shit that should have died instead of the husband (who in the scope of this story is innocent). That leads to one main flaw to the story. There is not enough backround to make any of these characters look like more than a cardboard cutout.

I hate cheating wives.

the other going, but not together, TK U MLJ LV NV

gobbling a thick cock, he gulped hot jism, betrayed!

For the read.

Many of you commenters are sooo stupid.

Boy! That cheating whore is really broken up over her husband's death.

May karma reward this selfish slut with many years of bad luck and STDs.

I liked it, although "like" may not be the right word. She has no moral center. She has no empathy for others. The best part of the story was how the author played with the reader. If the reader knew of the infidelity from the start, it would not be half the story it is.

Faithful

Hear her vows.

Till little death occurs skip the French

Slut is a slut until her?!

Give me 4.75 axe handles