KEEP WRITING PLEASE!
Keep working on this, it is done very well. Not too "trashy" and very believable as I read it. Brings back some fond memories w/o the broken arms part. Don't be discouraged you are doing well.
I like this story very much, by all means please continue.
Both stories have been incredible, please keep writing!! Keep it up, seriously amazing!!
i loved this story. simple, believeable, and fantastic. keep writing!
Don't give up.
The real world feel of a story does it for me every time.
If there is one thing I cant stand it is an unrealistic story.
The sex in this tale is delicious, gently passionate, each lover generous to the other -- in short, great stuff! There are too many egregious grammatical mistakes. (Don't write "your" when you mean "you're!") But still the superb tone of the writing and the warm passion force me to give a top 5 Rating. Love it!
I think your story is great. I makes me want a visual. If I didn't like I wouldn't keep reading. Which is always an option for critics.
1 if you want perfect words punctuation and moralistic views, what the hell are you doing on this site, and where are your stories
2 if you are going to cast stones have the guts to sign the comment. Comments from a-naughty-mouse are to be ignored---so "bite it"
Beautiful innocence. Keep writing you have a gift.
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