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English
One of the best
Congratulations. This is one of the best stories I have read in years. Wonderful character development, fine build up of maturity in your leading character. Everyone in this story played an integral part in your wonderful build up of understanding and maturity on the part of your leading character. Thanks for a fine story.
60 year old George
Why?
If Rachel forgave Peter, why did she not write him a letter releasing him from the promise she forced from him? Did she ever apologize for putting him in that predicament? Why didn't she realize that Peter was a child not an adult. After the funeral why didn't Rachel write him a letter explaining why she left? This is a most wonderful story taken from the child's point of view. With some of the other stories including children of cheating spouses, you mostly read about adult or very small children. This story shows that sometimes children are victims also.
Wonderful job!
Why?
If Rachel forgave Peter, why did she not write him a letter releasing him from the promise she forced from him? Did she ever apologize for putting him in that predicament? Why didn't she realize that Peter was a child not an adult. After the funeral why didn't Rachel write him a letter explaining why she left? This is a most wonderful story taken from the child's point of view. With some of the other stories including children of cheating spouses, you mostly read about adult or very small children. This story shows that sometimes children are victims also.
Wonderful job!
Excellent but strange story
I don't understand why mom didn't confess and ask for forgiveness. I don't understand why she didn't go to a preacher or counselor and get some help and put her family back together - either she was pretty dumb or selfish or who knows what. So then she remarries and has more kids - good grief.I don't get the guilt that Peter felt at the end - his feelings of shame over his mother's behavior were justified. Dad should have just found somebody else and moved on, in fact he probably could have upgraded. The portrayal of the artist and Laurie was pretty realistic, though. Interesting and thought-provoking story!
i disagree this was a cop out
you write good,but your logic sucks.the kid didn't do anything wrong in this story.the mother and father fuck up.they were the adults in this story and were cowards both of them.the wife is another story.you write these story and have weak male leads with no real common sense.sometime i think you as a writer write like a coward in telling the truth in your stories.somebody as a adult should've took charge and said i fuck up mother for betrayal and father for not taking her back not a eleven year old boy.how can you blame the boy,that crazy.adultery in any marriage is wrong.
You have to be kidding
You write about 2 warped parents who become psychological child abusers putting the kid in the middle of an X rated situation, and then the child becoming an adult with so much emotional baggage his married life revolves around his childhood relationship with his mom who, intentionally put and then left him in a no win situation, instead of his wife. Then you try to suddenly turn the mom into some shadowy heroine who knows all, solves all?? Come on.
You have to be kidding
You write about 2 warped parents who become psychological child abusers putting the kid in the middle of an X rated situation, and then the child becoming an adult with so much emotional baggage his married life revolves around his childhood relationship with his mom who, intentionally put and then left him in a no win situation, instead of his wife. Then you try to suddenly turn the mom into some shadowy heroine who knows all, solves all?? Come on.
You have to be kidding
You write about 2 warped parents who become psychological child abusers putting the kid in the middle of an X rated situation, and then the child becoming an adult with so much emotional baggage his married life revolves around his childhood relationship with his mom who, intentionally put and then left him in a no win situation, instead of his wife. Then you try to suddenly turn the mom into some shadowy heroine who knows all, solves all?? Come on.
This is insane.
Ive pretty much given up commenting on stories here (as many will be happy to hear Im sure :), but I couldnt hold my tongue on this one.
This was the most twisted up and warped bit of story telling Ive seen in a long time. I hope that it was some kind of joke or that I missed something at the end.
Excellent
A very powerful story! It reminds me that we hold the ability to determine our own happiness. To err human; to forgive divine.
Boyd
Good story
This is a very good story and although it might be fiction I can see it happening in real life and to those who moan about these type of stories let them try doing better my guess is they will fall short. One thing I might like to surgest is that you write a short epilogue where the son talks to the mother's family.
And just to say carry on writing and just ignore anyone who moans about your work but can't or wont write a story.
Regards
GW66
I agree with the other critics. Your logic is bad
The boy caught his mother in an act that would affect him but not with her husband but in an affair rutting. The kid reacted as a kid would. The mother reacted as a cheating lying spouse would. A good guess is she ran off because she was enjoying her affair and was not happy in her marriage, blaming it on her son who hated her for what she did to his father was a mental mechanism called transfer. She was trying to remove blame from herself and her actions and put it elsewhere. The letter was again a cope out. The father played the game, not telling the son he knew and thereby placing blame for them divorcing and his death on the son. Again a parent not being able to accept personal responsibility for his own life. The wife in this case is losing sexual interest in her husband as brought out in the story, she is being affectionate with the artist as shown by her actions described, she posed nude for a painting by the artist, then comes out smelling like a rose and all is forgiven? Many long hours just him and her over weeks, then being caught being intimate in action, and getting upset at her husband, and telling strange stories and lying to her husband, that smells to high heaven. Isnt it interesting his mother was there when he went to catch them? It is more interesting his loyal loving wife was on very good terms with his adulterous mother. And that nice painting he had bought from her "lover" being returned by her to the artist without him knowing she had taken it from the house. And he forgives all because he screwed up his parents marriage? Talk about mental illness! Had I been her husband, I am afraid I would think she would have just been conning me and came home quick just because she knew I was on to her. The divorce would have already been on the table and she and I would be preparing to separate, I would not have sat three weeks in hell first either. News gents, if you cant trust her completely today, yesterday, and tomorrow, you shouldnt be married to her. Recycle and get someone worth the time and emotion not someone you have to work on it with. Trash is trash, always throw out the trash, it stinks after a while.
Close, but no cigar
I agree in part with some of the critics. Mummy made the boy what he became. Doubtless, by the age of eleven, he had been taught that lies and betrayal were wrong. It is clear from his reaction that he understood what his mother was doing. Yet he lied to his father, whom he loved and admired, when he said he was walking and found himself far from home. Mummy let him be admonished and punished. Then Mummy blackmails him into another lie to cover her betrayal. He clearly understands right and wrong when he tells her "I was just a little late. Who's punishing you?" It is, however, entirely plausible that the child may then conclude that it was all his fault after all. Especially when Mummy writes a letter telling his father that it is the child who is to blame for her abandonment of the family. Even though she forced him into this deception. Then she leaves and has a nice life with someone else and two other children who are obviously so much nicer than he is. Add to this the fact that his father has the temerity to blame him because Mummy says she is leaving because of how the child treats her. Who are the fucking adults in all this? As it is said, the sins of the father (or in this case, the mother) will be visited on the third and fourth generations, (or in this case,the very next one). I concede that the outcome, as written, is highly likely. It's just that I, and some others, disagree that Peter is at fault. He has been crippled by guilt forced on him by two inadequate parents who have emotionally and psychologically abused him. He's lucky he comes to some sort of rationalisation to prevent his marriage falling apart, but I don't think the future is very bright. It looks as if he will spend his life finding reasons why everything is his fault.
Personally I'd torch Mummy's new family just to teach her how much damage she did to a child.
WTF
.
Forgetsies
Sorry Celt, I should have mentioned that I liked the story, I think the writing is well up to your usual standard and I enjoy all your writing. Keep it up.
Well written but very confused
You write so well, it's a shame you plotted such a messed up kid that even you got confused in this very mess. I believe others have alerted you to the fact, and it's pretty much universally agreed that a kid is never to be blamed for parents broken relations - never! True, kids and messed up adults do blame themselves quite often (psychologists have to earn a living too). My problem is that the child in your story seems to be more mature then himself as an adult. It does not work this way. The child got it right. Had the mother told the father about her affair it would have been resolved -one way or another. Then the child would have had to accept what ever they agreed to present to him. The fact that the mother literally abandoned her son is not his fault by any stretch of the imagination. The child got it and the adult did not? The part about the relationship with the wife was somewhat redundant imo. A request for honesty is not unique to children of broken family, and again I could not understand how he figured that HE again did anything wrong when the wife correctly came and apologized. And what was the story with the reappearance of the mother in the gallery? Did it contribute in any way to the plot?
A welcome name.
I so look forward to your stories and they are all so well written that even those that don't quite hit the mark are better than most other authors in this genre. I did not like the continuing anger and idea that the mother would do what she did rather than just confess. That being said,I still cannot stop reading anything you submit.
Good one!
Nice plot. It flowed very well. I don't understand the "confused" part of one of your critics but then again, I don't understand most of the idiots that trash this genre.
PW
Intricate emotions
What a wonderful story, and so beautifully crafted! Your logic was not confused in any way, and you managed to show how the self-righteous morality of the still developing child can affect decisions made in adulthood. At least Laurie had the strength to see how her husband perceived her actions, and she took on the role of the stronger partner in order to save him from further misunderstanding. She, too, had her secrets, forced on her by her husband's suspicious view of her life. She was seeing his mother, but he had already demonstrated his lack of interest, so her secrecy is understandable. If there's a moral in this for the moralists, it's one of forgiveness and growth, of looking forward to building a new future rather than being held back by past wrongs. If Peter had not adjusted his thinking toward his wife, there would be no way he could identify the 'truth' about her. Whatever she said would be misconstrued. It would always be his version of reality, not the real truth which would remain forever unknown to him.
Don't understand the father
If she leaves a letter telling of her indiscretion, why doesn't the father let the son know? They could have both confronted their anger. For that matter, why didn't the mother bring this to a head with a confession instead of leaving. Of course, that would take courage which she never displayed in the rest of the story. I take it she found a second marriage quickly; otherwise the couple could have gotten back together when the son went off to university.
Welcome back, Kolkore!
Spot-on in your assessment! I don't know why some many readers are shocked. The Celt's style is anyone and everyone is to blame (except the cheating wife).
What idiot blamed the child?
A child is a child and therefore not totally responsible for their emotions. If the mother wanted to be held blameless, she would not have done the deed in their home, or at all. If the father wanted to forgive the mother, he would have talked to the boy and made sure that he understood the father's reasoning.
Lauri was ignoring the warning signs. Unfortunately, this is what is commonly known as leading on a person. The child/man has nothing to be ashamed of. Not everyone involved in his life could say the same. That is why the blushing and flushing and avoidance of eye contact.
Good job Celt!!
Liked the story
The child did not drive away the mother. I agree that the mother was a coward. Whether or not she should have told her husband is debatable, but to leave them and blame the child was unforgivable. If she explains her reason for leaving in the letter, including confessing her cheating, why not have the discussion with her husband and the two of them come to an agreement. After that they could deal with their son. I enjoyed the story but obviously did not agree with the those parts above.
Just awful --this part killed it
Sometimes I Wonder if this is a UK thing. It seems an awful lot of Male writers from the UK are unable to either
reason critically or have a backbone.
I think this line of reasoning at the end killed this whole story.
As I listened to her words and I began to feel the weight of the world lifting from my shoulders. It wasn't too late. Regardless of what had already happened, (????) she was still my wife and still my love. She understood what I saw and it reminded her of the promises we made to each other.
...is that why she was fucking Rafeal or thinking about it ???...
Perhaps she had strayed once but she would stray no more. ... um how does he know this??...
I could live with that as I should have allowed my mother to live with her indiscretion.
...Huh? I thought the Mother was responsible for her actions.. since when did 11 year old boys become adults?)
If I had, my father would have been happy. His life would have been worth living.
so now this guy can see alternative futures? how would he know his Dad would of been happy with a cunt whore wife?
say I know...Maybe now just maybe... his dad would of been much happier IF his wife never cheated to begin with?
Instead, I took that away from him and I was ashamed.
this is like saying if only Britian France the USSR and the USA had not fought Germany think of all the lives that would of been saved under Nazi rule of Europe.
a deeply flawed story
Let me see if I have this abortion of a story right...
OK so the main character as a 11yo kid lies for his Mom. I can see that.
But later when the cunt whore mom suddenly leaves .. he says NOTHING... WHY??? According to the story he hates his mom and loves his Dad. SO WHY IS PROTECTING HER...??
His logic of not wanting to hurt his dad... given that his mom just left makes NO sense at all. He sees the Pain on his Dads face now caused by the Mom leaving... and the kid's promise not to tell was to spare the dad Pain.
anyone? Bueller? Bueller?
NEXT... why did the dad lie to him about the what was in the Letter? The kid must be what 16 years old ? 18 years old? The dad KNOWS his son saw his Mom fuck another man... the son knows his dad knows.... The mom knows... so why is EVERYONE STILL LYING ????
3RD HOW exactly does Peter as a 22 year old man NOT spit in this whore 's face when she says this....
"Because of you Peter. He forgave me but you never did. Never once did you think to give me a chance or ask your father to ask me to come home. He knew how to reach me Peter. He always knew but because of you, he let me go."
Isnt it bad enough she crapped all over her 11year old son for all these years?
As for LAURIE... who the fuck would want to spend time with this awful person for the rest of their lives??? she lied about Rafeal seeing her as a love interest she .. she downplayed all the time she spent with him... she defended Rafeal over her very reasonable objections... and she was about to kiss Rafeal.
Good entertainment of a mentally ill man
I love your writing but this one is so far off base unless you were trying to show us a mentally ill man who cannot face life but makes up rules too live in depending which room he is residing in. This is a case of a man who needs a lot of mental health counseling before he can get a grip on reality.
Other then being totally insecure and looking over his shoulder for the next disaster to unhinge his life, this self destructive paranoid man has no foundation to build any reality on. He is portrayed as being paranoid and afraid to try and be happy. Each happiness he has seems to bring him to wonder where the trick in it is. In all this verbosity he is haunted by things that are not there but his own fear. The last paragraph statements by our hero show a man trying to justify his need to revise history as if he was an adult in charge when he was 11 years old. He has never been in charge in his life of fear..
Excerpts;
He was miserable and it was my fault, not hers.
I drove her away and I lied to him about that as well.
"You must forgive him. I have." How could she? How could he? God, I was miserable! I was going to ruin my life like I ruined my father's and my mother's.
And who was I, a child, to make that decision for my father? He and my mother both paid a price for my stubbornness..
So many people take blame on themselves to hide from facing the truth of others causing pain they would have to endure. They can not face that pain as it would make their world to hard to survive in so it is easier to carry the pain as something they caused so they perceive they have control.
Great writing but the story is one of mental illness not reality of ones mind and living a full life. Thank you for the entertainment.PT
are you crazy
Q. When is an eleven year old supposed to learn how to forgive and understand what is right or wrong?
A. By learning from the adults ( in her case not much of one). She never acted as an adult she tried to cover up her actions and USED an eleven year old to help her with her betrayal. 1.She taught him to lie to the ones you love.
2. not trust family. 3. and to take advantage of little children to cover for them.
Q. Why would he be able to be well adjusted with those roll models?
A. Hard to be but this story some how shows he was pretty well adjusted for the way his life was and turned out(no thanks to her).
Conclusion when she saw that the lying and promise she made a child take to lie to the father was turning the child into a mess she should have come clean and not only help the child but the family despite what it would mean to the father. When did the family happiness get turned over to the child. One other item the child said that she did everything to make the father happy and show she was sorry, what did she do for the child to show she was sorry and an adult who could stand on her feet and take the consequence of her actions. (sorry spelling not my strong point)
I am a parent and I am furious that the child was put in this situation by the mother. I might have forgiven my wife but not the mother of my child for not showing back bone,teaching him to lie and not letting him learn we can forgive if honesty and remorse are shown. I would have been hurt by her actions no doubt but to let her continue to parent my child no way.
Duh,he's a kid
I love your writing,but I just don't agree with the logic on this one. If the father wanted to take the mother back,he and his wife should have sat down and spoke with him. If he still didn't understand,Duh that's whats counseling is for. To blame the kid is ludicrious and shows that both his parents have problems.
Superb, as Usual!
Celt, you are superb. Intelligently crafted, with well-drawn personalities, your stories -- and this one in particular -- stand head and shoulders above all others. Pay no attention to those ignorant, envious commentators who try to belittle you. Your contributions add literary stature to Literotica.
You know I thought that being Non-Erotic
would you save you from all the bashing. I certainly agree that not many of the people I know could easily behave as the four central figures behaved, but that does not take anything away from story. It is well written, compelling and interesting. I get the feeling that people do not really accept what one in a hundred means. His mother could have been one in a thousand! The story does not have to be about average comportments!
Thanks for writing!
Regards,
Bruce
excellent human story
This story by Celt is in my view one of his best. it seems to have many elements that fit together to produce a memorable story, and then some. There is a great deal of suspense in the story, and the parallels drawn between what he had done to his mother and what he had begun to do to his wife were extremely well thought out. I assume that his mother was visiting the art galley to speak with his wife so as to keep up to date with her son's life(?). RAG
No Way!
First he stumbles upon his mother's illicit liason and is manipulated into making a promise to keep it secret from his father. Then she leaves and reveals his complicity in the lie of the life she lived with her husband to make him just as guilty of her leaving her husband as she is. He is now seen in a worse light than she is and untrustworthy in the eyes of the father because she confessed to the affair in her letter while he is duped into continually lying to his father on her behalf. For years he carried the unfair guilt thrust upon him by this situation only to have to raitionalize as an adult what couldn't possibly be understood as a child. No! Under the atmosphere of lies and deception perpetrated by both parents in this melodrama ,his moral compass remained aligned and intact even through the turmoil he survived living under the roof of individuals who should barely be considered adults...much more parents!
Surprised!
I am surprised that there are negative reactions to this story. This story is written with insight, much depth and a competent and skilled writing style. This is the best story yet (I expect even better ones later on) from the Celt!
Confused
Your writing is always very good and mostly consistent with life as I have viewed and experienced it for over 50 years. Your ability as a wordsmith has caused many of my emotions to flow. But this story has me confused...
Human Frailty Expressed - A Recommended Read
Impressive Author - It is further apparent by the comments that men must fix everything - even the written word.
Even when realistically portrayed, human frailty can feel awkward and out of balance - exterior to some peoples comfort zone.
The right maker's will someday realize that if everything went properly - by the book there wouldn't be bruised children, divorce, families torn apart.
Nor would there be stories about the human struggle to make it right, tolerate it or tear it up.
There isn't always a hero. Sometimes just people battling with or against the current but trying to do the right thing in their mind [not our perfect hindsight one].
Nice provocation Author - minds were churning as evidenced by the comments. Hopefully more in the pipeline at interval.
With Very High Regard
nonsensical; too bad
This isn't up to your usual standards. At a micro level the prose is clean, yes, but the threads trying to hold the story together don't seem to stand up to the stresses you've placed on them. Protagonist wants to believe his wife has been faithful, clearly, but if this is even vaguely a repeat of the previous pattern he ought to be wondering a lot more. Mother just pops up in the middle of his fever dream? And just how could he have been such a moralistic 11 year old and still lied? Nope, these parts don't fit together.
Strange
Well, my first reaction to this story was negative, as the child is so self-righteous, so loveless towards his mother, so willing to consider women less-than-human. Then, at some point, he understands that he may actually not be God and the judge of all... and then you have his wife come crawling back, as if she had done anything wrong.
Of course, after reading the comments I realise that the grown-up child still showed amazing understanding - so, for that, a 75.
Very Enjoyable
An interesting story with just about everyone having a problem telling the truth. The wife lies to her husband. The son lies to his father. The mother begs her son to keep a lie for her. About the only person who comes close to telling the truth is Laurie.
There are a lot of unexplained parts to the story. David, the father, reads his wifes letter which tells what she did wrong and why she is leaving him. Somewhere along the line there must have been a divorce proceeding and an opportunity for Rachael and David to talk about the contents of the letter. David chooses to not discuss the letter with his son nor does he talk to his soon to be ex-wife. None of these people understand truth or how to communicate.
It isn't until the end of the story that thecelt allows Peter to speak his mind to Laurie about his suspicions concerning her and Rafael. At this point Peter is open, truthful and able to bare his emotions and thoughts. It is this bout of honesty which saves his marriage.
The story has its flaws but it is a well done portrayal of the effects of dishonesty and lies in a marriage.
A Pox on the Critiques...
Very well done! Intriquing twist on the cheating wife story. New viewpoint. Cudos. I think it is very clever to have the mother lurking about the edges of his life but don't see what part she plays by contacting the wife at the gallery. Laurie doesn't announce that the interaction between her and Rachel plays any important role in her decision making process... Well, does she? This is quite a good angle on an old old story. Thanks for the effort. Do it again from the wife's viewpoint and from the mom's viewpoint... Wish I could write like you. irchristo@aol.com
I'm confused also
I liked the story, hell, I like virtually all of yours (the notable exception being "Where Was She", I've already told you my problems w/ that one). This one confuses me somewhat. He was 11 when he saw his mom, at that age, kids only see black & white, there is no gray. She cheated, he knew that was wrong, end of conversation. Then her letter to her husband makes him out to be the bad guy, she puts her guilt on him. So now she, a cheating sleazy lying slut, is making her child the one that ultimately breaks up the marriage. And now at the end, he has some sort of epiphany, where he "understands" her, and wants now to have some sort of relationship w/ her. The problems was always w/ her and the father's failure to communicate w/ each other or at the end w/ him. Anyway, good overall, glad Laurie saw the handwriting on the wall in time to save her marriage.
A courageous piece of writing
I admit to being surprised that this story has received such mixed reviews. I for one, thought you showed a lot of creativity in tackling the storyline from the point of view of an affected pre-teen, a child. This story touched me on a number of levels and your title aptly captured the imprisonment of this child/man.
Your hero represents a person whose emotional maturity was frozen at age 11. His actions in the story seem totally consistent with that assessment. Someone asked why he kept his mother’s secret so long. Having once been 11 years old myself, I remember when a secret was treated almost like a sacred oath, and was never divulged. It was quite believable that an impressionable child would keep his oath even under extreme circumstances.
As for the child’s attitude towards his mother during her time after she was caught, that too seemed very plausible. I know a widower whose daughter reacted in the same way to his new wife, her new stepmother. The tension in that household was unrelenting. Our hero in this story acted as if he had forever ‘lost’ his mother, as if his ‘new’ mother was an interloper worthy only of his disgust.
From his father’s point of view his wife’s abandonment must have been completely devastating. He had no forewarning of such a breakup. To receive a letter detailing her adultery and his son’s knowledge of it, certainly led to his premature death. That was the saddest aspect of this tale. I would hold his wife responsible for his death.
I found myself at the end of this story wanting to know more of her. What was she thinking when she left? How did she come to such a decision? Why couldn’t she simply confess to her husband with their son present? Hw did she feel about her husband’s death? How was she able to establish an entirely new family? If there is any second chapter to this story, I would like to have it told from her point of view.
In summary, this story is one of my favorites of yours. Thank you for sharing it with us.
Good points raised by some
So the father finds out that his 11 year old saw his whore wife cheat. So why didnt the farher say anything to the kid?
we know the mom was a shallow evil twisted woman who put that sort of Guilt on her son. But why did the supposedly good parent... the father... do the same thing for years?
DIVORCE PROCEEDINGS? was there or was there not a Divorce? Did the parents ever talk? Did they ever talk about what this was doing to their 11 year old son?
why didnt tha father say anything to kid later on as he got older ?
s The kids knwos the mom knwos
Evil Women
It's bad enough when the slut wife blamed her husband for her infidelity, but to try and shift blame onto an eleven year old kid, who's already been traumatized by her cheating, leads me to believe she is more than just a stupid self centered slut. But a truly malevolent and evil being. Some times the evil that men (and women) do is much scarier than any supernatural ghost or monster. The fact that she has been stalking his wife and he now contemplates bringing her home, just sends chills down my spine. It would not surprise me if this "whorror" story gets first prize in the Halloween scariest story contest.
Makes absolutely no sense, Author
Mother destroys her marriage, abandons her family unable to face up to her responsibilities, runs off to a new family, heaps all the blame on her son resulting in the son feeling he was responsible for it all and becoming extremely neurotic (anyone surprised?), and generally leaving a path of destruction miles wide and years long; then the author implies she spends the rest of her life as the son's guardian angel evenually keeping his wife from remaking her mistake, saving the marriage. Makes absolutely no sense, like using an A bomb to kill a fly. If she could do all that at the end, why couldn't she correct a problem with an 11 year old? Stupid!!
Makes absolutely no sense, Author
Mother destroys her marriage, abandons her family unable to face up to her responsibilities, runs off to a new family, heaps all the blame on her son resulting in the son feeling he was responsible for it all and becoming extremely neurotic (anyone surprised?), and generally leaving a path of destruction miles wide and years long; then the author implies she spends the rest of her life as the son's guardian angel evenually keeping his wife from remaking her mistake, saving the marriage. Makes absolutely no sense, like using an A bomb to kill a fly. If she could do all that at the end, why couldn't she correct a problem with an 11 year old? Stupid!!
A "meaty" story
These are the stories I love, the ones that give you food for thought. Here we have a child traumatized by his mother's infidelity and the weight of keeping a secret that shouldn't be his to carry. That's a lot of weight to carry for one so young, twisting radically his judgemental views into either black or white without any room for forgiveness if his "code of ethics and morals" were broken. Was the child justified in reacting the way he did to his mother? Maybe not, but he was a child and his mother was the adult who could have taken control once again just by confessing her infidelity to her husband, but she didn't. On the contrary, she reacted as a coward, keeping her secret and again as a coward she left, leaving behind the pieces to be picked up by the child and the husband. I didn't feel sorry for her one bit. She created the situation which like a domino effect, collapsed a child's world and ended the happy life her husband once knew. They didn't deserve that. She escaped, but they didn't. She built a new life for herself, but they didn't. And as the child grew, this episode defined his life, his future. I'm glad that this character could find forgiveness in his heart, not for his mother, but for himself, and hopefully, for his marriage. But I found that in this story, the hero's love story and marriage was secondary to the parent's story and I couldn't fully get into that part of the story.
Thank you, author, for a well crafted story, one that was thoughtful, delicate in emotions and a pleasure to read.
We are NOT psychologists in training here,
dear author! We are GROWN-UPs who cruise in and out of adult-oriented "literary" venues, looking for interesting ADULT stories, whether they are "romantic," tragic, heinous, revenge, etc.
We are NOT a whole bunch of people who want to listen to a man who is stunted at pubescence by his whoring mother and who thinks, even now a married man himself who's been thinking he's seeing his wife fuck around, THINKS he needs to go and look for his beloved mother whom he had to power to insult and who abandoned him and his father, AND FORGIVE HER and everything, including his little twisted mind, would be okay and his wife (who has just given him a few good words like she's talking to a silly 11 year old [which is really who this man is], about her having NOT been fucking around because she loved him so much,,, like his mother years ago.....)
+++++++++++++++++
"Laurie, I would like to find my mother and try to make amends to her. I've learned too much about myself and what I did to her and my father. I need to tell her and ask her to forgive me. She said she did but I have to hear it for myself. Would you mind?"
I didn't know whether she knew who she had been seeing in the gallery but she surprised me when she said, "Of course I don't mind. Would you like me to invite her over the next time I see her?"
I smiled at her and told her I would be delighted.
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IF the "moral" of the story is that SUCH a TRAGEDY could happen to ltitle boys and girls --- who inadvertently witness their parents adultery --- and such events could have life long impacts on their young mind, etc., etc. ad nauseam, THEN you have not articulated it well. In an adult way for us, that is.
Again, we are NOT psychologists in training and we do NOT care about grown-up men who are married who ---- after confronting their wife's own infidelity,,,, with blistering words in rebut from her saying no, you stupid, i love too much i could never do that to you; it's all in your head but come here, let me hug you, you look like a little 11 year old who needs his mother --- jump up and down in giddiness, saying,
"Oh, boy, my beloved wife Laurie, now that you told me the truth and how forgiving words on both sides would resolve all kinds of MISUNDERSTANDING which could lead to death and destruction,,,, I'm gonna go search for my mother and TELL HER I FORGIVE HER and then watch her lips as she say she too forgive me for HAVING SEEN HER, an act devastated her psyche, her sense of privacy and moral and ethics, so much she abandoned me and my father, with the end result being my father's premature death... Would you come wit' me, Laurie dear beloved wife? I am so glad you have now quit working for big man artist Raphael,,, and have told me it's all in my head,,,"
What absolute nonsense!
Eh
Rather unbelievable really. Decent portrayal of a guy who's been totally mind fucked by the women (and his idiot father) in his life though. No sane/honest man once he got beyond his grief could blame his child in that situation for lying/hiding the secret.
I tell ya though, if anything would ever incite me to seriously kill or maim someone, what "mom" said to her son at the graduation...
Speak for yourself
GenghisKhan, please don't tell us what we like to read and what we don't. You are referring to yourself here, not speaking for all of us. If the story failed to get you off, why did you read it? It was very long, and you had ample opportunity to bail out. The writer has put a lot of time into crafting this piece, and many of us liked it for various reasons. Your criticism, while welcome as such, is unfair. It's a shame your view of what an 'adult' site should offer is so limited. So many adults are torn by what happened earlier in their lives, so why not write about it? If you don't want to read it then hit the back button fast, but please don't speak for me. Vivienne
Substitute "I" for "We"
Sorry to "Vivienne," one of the readers of this story which I had Inadvertently included in my most powerful and eloquent criticism of THECELT's "Punishment" story...
As you know, English is not my first language.
I should'f used the first-person SINGULAR pronoun "I" instead of the first-person PLURAL pronoun "We".
Like logic, English is a beautiful but also difficult language to master, y'know? Ask our current US American President...he'd testify to that...'tis especially true when we, no, I mean, when I have to improvise...
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