Loving Alex Storm

wow

plz dont stop...tht was really gud...cant wait 2 hear more!!!

Promising Talent

Yes........... Your story telling ability seems to have gotten off to a fine start. I think you have many of us (me at least) going back to our college days. Bi-curious even now at some 40 years later, I have a few roommates that I think back about and wonder.....so let's keep up the good work!!! Thanks.

Brilliant beginning.

You have My curiousity piqued. Keep it coming!!!

Nice

Content wise, I'm interested. The characters are likable, kind of opposites attract, so I want to see how this relationship will develop or not. Technically, the story flows beautifully. You have a nice writing style.

Come on....

...please - MORE!! Curiosity's killin' me here! Just please don't do anything freaky with them. Great writing - love the touches of humor. Keep it up!

Great start, can't wait to read more.

Great Start!

Please keep it coming. Could be a wonderful love story!

Ok, you have my attention now, so come on and post the second chapter lol. Seriously though, great first submission. Thanks for sharing with us.

MORE

you should keep writting it sounds great.

Very good beginning

I TRULY hope you are going to continue this story.

very good! it definitely needs more chapters!!!

nick

A Very Promising Start Indeed

There are some truly cringeworthy college-boy romances out there in the ether but this story is not one of them. It's well told and the development of its principal players is deftly handled. My curiosity is snared now and I will definitely read more.
If I have a teeny crit it is about the compulsion to announce the vital statistics of a character on page one, like reading out a medical chart. It's not something that people do in life when introducing themselves, so why do it in a story? You've got the writing ability to work in a more subtle description, I think. *kiss*
It didn't stop me reading either! More!!
xx.Sadie

I like the start - going to read more!

Really good. I came to look at your stories because you left a comment on mine, and I was curious. My brother died from a heart condition at age 18. Can relate to that part - but now I am off to keep reading. Cheers, Lilac. :)

so sweet!

very moving. it is nice to see gay men portrayed as human--w/feelings just like everyone else. i loved the story in its simplicity and ambivalence. the latter is what makes the story so erotic. i really, really liked it.

Very sweet

Although i can't picture something so dramatic happening so fast in real life, i love the realism you use for Seth's characters, i can appretiate the personality you put into him as well.

Very sweet! I've read this series many, many times and I wish there were more of Seth and Alex. Truly love these 2 characters!

continue

i know you have continues this but i just wanted to say...

write a story because you love it. if you love it others will too. you're a writer, be damn selfish. readers come and readers go but your imagination and skill is the important thing. never forget it

Tips:
(1) The paragraph starting "I'm what you call popular" is unnecessary - this kind of description of self by the narrator makes your main character sound big-headed. You could refer to the girls making googly eyes, and that would be enough.
(2) Never use the word "frame" as a synonym for body - it is so over-the-top cliched, it jars.
(3) Watch your timeline - would Alex really go from embarrassed caution to sobbing his heart out within minutes? No - he's an adult, not three years old. Implausible timelines are a big problem in amateur writing.

OMG YES. Please continue!! Beautiful plot and storyline. Can't wait to read more!!!

Love this introduction!

Seth is hilarious and I got a good sense of who he is from his inner thoughts as well as how he is with the teacher and Alex. I think Alex has a crush on him since he was excited about being roommates. Great plot, setting and dialogue. Looking forward to the rest of their story (: