All Comments on 'Who Killed Jake Mullett?'

This was a really good one DG. Your stories are always a good read. I too believe that most people have done things in their lives which othes would be shocked at. I know I wouldn't want my life made public. Always good to see a story posted by DG Hear. Keep up the good work.

Either write a story or write an essay. Even the best authors don't pepper their text with their own comments. If you want to have a debate with your editors, do it privately and leave it out of the story. You seem to be reaching a stage where we have to care what the writer thinks - we don't. That's just hubris. Only the narrative matters but you seem to forget that.

So these two guys are married to two murderers, God help them because they are judge, jury and executioners. I guess if you are an asshole, then you deserve what you get. Hell, the police won't even put much effort to solve the crime....And they lived happily ever after.

Wonderful as, almost, always.

Perhaps you are at your best on the interface with

the criminal element. At least you convince us about

your very villainous cast members!

I'm just having a little fun writing stories for the Hallowen contest. I do my best to give readers a little something different at times. I alway thank my editors because they deserve it. You wouldn't believe the mistakes I make.

I'm NOT a professional writers by any means of the word. Just an old guy who will write till it stops being fun.

I know my stories aren't for everyone and I say it often. I try to give a little warning to let you know what's in the story. Thank you all for reading and especiall those who voted and/or commented.

Sincerely

DG Hear

It deserved a vote. Our so-called justice system seldom outputs justice. We need to go back to Common Law where justice, not the law, is served. Juries need to be fully informed of their rights to nullify laws and mete out real justice. The women here served justice on the criminals. Unfortunately, only in a story. Phil

That was a great and scary story just one question why didnt Amy tell Ray the story did she think he would turn susan in for the crimes?and what about amy did she tell Ray about her covering for susan ?

Pat

As a former P. I. wiuth AIG I kind of look at it from a real life case.

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First... this Cop husband has to be the Biggest fooking MORON ever... How does this guy Know of 5 people from the reunion 5 years ago all die... several by unsolved murder then this Jake guy dies and he cant see that there MIGHT be a connection?

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SECOND the wife is directly involved in the Murder but tells her Husband "I have nothing to hide honey..."???!?!?!?!

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that issue is never resolved. I am pretty lying to the cops ... much less your spouse... in a MURDER investigation is like BAD thing to do.... no?.

As is mostly the case, your writing efforts are imaginative and well worth the time - on average much more so than 99% of the rest here.<P>

Thanks Author - You are appreciated ! <P>

With Very High Regard

I have to let you know that I love comments and feedback. I delete very few of them. As you can see "Harry in VA. very rarely has anything nice to say about my stories" but, he knocks the story. Not me or the editors.

I recently deleted a comment that knocked my editors. That's a no-no. You can knock my story, my characters, and some times even me, but not my editors. If you do, your comment will be deleted.

Editors are usually other authors who take of their own time to read over your story and correct mistakes they come across. They may also make some good suggesions. They are not paid professionals who go over the stoy with a fine-tooth comb.

After the editor finisheswith their suggetions the writer makes whatever changes he desired.

As I have said, I love comments but please keep them on the story and characters.

Thank you

DG Hear

DG

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my comments here were SOLELY about what I see as the cop's Obtuseness and the wife lying to her husband about not knowing anything about the murder.

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It was NOT about YOU at all. Nor do I trash this story

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second have been MANY stories which I have sung your praises and given you 75s and 100s...

Of all of your stories this story shows your greatest potential as a writer. Why do I say that? First of all, great characters flow through all of your stories. Second, you have a great sense of the setting or what make the character alive in the story. For example, even the story "Zoea: My Wife" was one of your few stories I did not like but you placed the characters in an excellent setting for the final confrontation between the husband and his lying cheating wife. That why the erotic mystery genre which keys on the setting, characters and plot offer a great vehicle for future stories. >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Now, on to some constructive comments: (1) It was obvious before the ending that the "cheerleaders" were involved in the murder. Jake's wife and Bob would have not been shagging away if they were planning to do Jake in. The murder seemed to be a case of passion not careful planning. (2) Ray and Jean were too close to the victim and potential suspects. Why didn't the police chief assign some other officers to do the investigation? (3) Jake was a jerk but his murder came off as a nonevent. What I enjoyed most was the characters.

I read your story with pleasure, but I would have liked a little more suspense.

Good luck.

Although your ending was somewhat predictable, this was a great story! So thanks DG for another exceptionally well-written story - it's always a pleasure to read a new one from the master! Stories like this make up for the junk so often dished out as literature on this site. There are few really good writers on Literotica but you are certainly one of them! What is there to say? Another gem of a tale! Full marks DG - no suggestions for improvement - to me it was simply a perfect tale of justified revenge! A devoted fan, Pete.

It was very good except for messing up the names in the epilogue.

I enjoyed reading this story. It was well written and thought out. I love a good mystery, and this one was excellent. The mess up with names in the second part was somewhat off putting, but over all a great read. The only thing that bothered me was the thought of a grandmother being a murderer, and looking at it so casually, but I know that's just the personality of the character, and she was well put together as a character.

At one point Susan becomes Sharon, and at another, Amy becomes Susan. There were another couple of sloppy mistakes that any editor should have caught (or any writer who actually proofreads)--how embarassing, yes?

But all in all, it was a decent effort, even though the dialog was horribly stilted in many cases; sometimes, we readers get what we pay for.

Could somebody point out just where the eroticism was in this tale of "erotic horror."

Honestly, did anyone who read it get hard or wet from this story? Did anyone actually masturbate? I see comments on other stories from readers getting off on the story, but I can't believe anyone thinks this is erotic literature.

Be honest, DG, did anyone send you a private email saying how horny the story made them? If not, I suggest the non-erotic category for this type of work.

Thanks again for putting the ending on it. I hate no-ending stories.

Susan's fingerprints on the shovel and Amy's on the pitchfork. No gloves and no way to clean a wooden handle. T

The white gloves with the orange R on them we heard about numerous times - including when Susan related the actual assault - saying they had the gloves on - wasn't it lucky.

Harry in VA agree or disagree i usually read your comments and accept they are well intended but the idea that a story is unrealistic because the people in it lied to a cop?? Or because the cop believed his wife when he had no reason to actually suspect her? They had considered the possibility of connections but found none - simple enough.

I enjoyed it - realistic or not and found it plausible.

glad you continued the story as it would have left a lot unanswered. Pretty dark but a good read.

I think those three scum bags got what they deserved and good for the two women to get their revenge on them...anyone who rapes a woman deserves to die just like those two assholes did...and Jake got his cumuppence when he tried to molest Amy...good riddance to rotten rubbish....

Very good story. I give it 5*****

Good story. 5 Stars.

Outstanding story; a masterpiece. Excellent plot, suspense, weaving of the action and interaction of the characters.

I especially enjoyed the two part format: the Jake investigation and then a break before the actual solution was presented. That was pure genius.

Good riddance: three scum bags getting their payback, what they so rightly deserved. Can it be any more satisfying for these two women in the story, the victims, to get such good a revenge? Rapists deserve to die; if you just asked those two who died, I wonder if they would still find their actions as wonderful and justifiable as they thought it was at the time. Jake also got his fair and just punishment when he tried to molest Amy. Thank God for the combined action of the two best friends.

5* +++++

BJ

When I read that there wasn't any finger prints on the shovel or pitchfork, I figured someone was wearing gloves. Well, we know that the three cheerleaders were wearing gloves. Given it was part of their costumes no one would think anything of it. Just didn't think is was the two of them covering for each other. Hay, that's what good friends are for. Liked the story and all I've got to say is what goes around comes around and payback is a bitch lol.

At the beginning of page three, you completely mixed up Susan and Amy, this seems to be a common thing in your stories, e.g. changing Susan to Sharon.