Good story.Needs a continuation so we can find out what happens.
by
Anonymous10/15/07
Good story.
I'm looking forward to what happens next. Don't stop now :D
by
Anonymous10/15/07
Definitely needs a continuation
Could Vinny have shucked out of his costume and into his brother's in record time?
by
Anonymous10/16/07
Voice
Unlikely that she would have mistaken his voice. You ought to edit your spelling/grammar - misspelled or incorrectly used words are distracting.
by
Anonymous10/16/07
Overall, very good!
Sure, a few minor typos here and there, but the overall writing style was very clear and crisp. You have a very natural way with dialogue. I'm pretty sure it was Vinny in his brother's borrowed costume. He is the one who coined the nickname Shelby, and I wouldn't be surprised to learn he's had a crush on her since they were kids. The sex scene was short but very hot, and the part that got to me? When he cuddled her against him afterward. I really hope you do a follow up, but if this is a stand alone, it's still very good. The reader can use their imagination any way they wish.
This story was hot, sexy, emotional with the added spice of a cliffhanger for an ending. What's not to like? Good luck in the contest!
And I'm hoping that there will be a follow-up to this story. I'd like to know who was the reaper as well as if there are any consequences because of this encounter.
by
Anonymous10/24/07
Clliffhanger
I really liked it. I dont personally think it needs to be Vinny for halloween it could have been death she encountered I like the mystery.
English
Good Halloween story
Good story.Needs a continuation so we can find out what happens.
Good story.
I'm looking forward to what happens next. Don't stop now :D
Definitely needs a continuation
Could Vinny have shucked out of his costume and into his brother's in record time?
Voice
Unlikely that she would have mistaken his voice. You ought to edit your spelling/grammar - misspelled or incorrectly used words are distracting.
Overall, very good!
Sure, a few minor typos here and there, but the overall writing style was very clear and crisp. You have a very natural way with dialogue. I'm pretty sure it was Vinny in his brother's borrowed costume. He is the one who coined the nickname Shelby, and I wouldn't be surprised to learn he's had a crush on her since they were kids. The sex scene was short but very hot, and the part that got to me? When he cuddled her against him afterward. I really hope you do a follow up, but if this is a stand alone, it's still very good. The reader can use their imagination any way they wish.
An ooops moment...
This story was hot, sexy, emotional with the added spice of a cliffhanger for an ending. What's not to like? Good luck in the contest!
And I'm hoping that there will be a follow-up to this story. I'd like to know who was the reaper as well as if there are any consequences because of this encounter.
Clliffhanger
I really liked it. I dont personally think it needs to be Vinny for halloween it could have been death she encountered I like the mystery.
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