All Comments on 'Light of Dusk Ch. 04'

I expected Jeff to be the one to whisk Dawn away with him, but I was very surprised--and ecstatic--to see that it was their father that made it happen. It's incredible to see the family coming together in such a meaningful way. This wasn't a happy ending for only the siblings, but also for the father, it seemed. I find it important to realize that such an incestuous relationship affects not only the people directly involved in the relationship but the family members around them. There is no question about what will happen in the Kramers' lives now. Wounds have been mended and they are as close as ever.

It's sad to read that you'll be away from Literotica for a while but I'm positive that whatever you'll grace the site with when you return will be well worth the wait. ^_^

You didn't wrap it up all pretty, with Jeff and Vince coming to terms with each other and their long-standing animosity. You had Dawn's friend Jenny as the 'voice of reason,' although I did wonder if subconsciously, she wasn't a little jealous.<br><br>

Don't stay away too long. Looking forward to more submissions from you.

i think it was a very fitting ending when dawn and jeff ended up together. very well written.

What a great way to end the story. Its nice to see a happy ending for not only Jeff and Dawn but for there Father as well. I hope you don't stay away too long, and I look forward to reading more of your stuff when you return cause if its anything like this story then I am sure they will be just as good if not better. Keep up the good work

I enjoyed "Light of Dawn" enough that I was so looking forward to the sequel and the sequel was so satisfying even if it did leaving me wanting more but in a good way. The kind of a way that made me go "I want to spend more time with these characters". <br>

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What I liked best about "Dusk" is that it didn't go straight to the sex. Time was spent with Dawn and Jeff interacting and establishing their rapport and showing me why they were right for each other in spite of the circumstances and when their reunion was consummated, it felt naturally erotic instead of forced and rushed and fake.<br>

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I'm glad that you mentioned that there wasn't going to be a lot on the secondary characters so I was prepared, but still, I really liked what was done with Tara who turned out to be the "real" best friend and I liked the way Jenny's actions, while cloaked as the "voice of reason", was shaded enough that one had to wonder what her real motivation was. After all, she was willing to see her best friend married to a man that she didn't love. Whether Dawn and Jeff's relationship was "wrong" or not, Jenny's insistence on Dawn going through with the wedding when Dawn was so clearly conflicted was not particularly supportive at all while Tara's quiet support for both siblings even if she might have thought it was a weird relationship made for a great contrast with Jenny's and it was also a great example of how to portray a character's character to the audience by "action" rather than "telling".<br>

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But the real star, to me anyway, was Vince Kramer. LOVED HIM! I almost wish that there had been more of him, but what there was of him was pretty special. And I loved how he put it all together quickly and saw the opportunity it presented rather than the detractions and when he told Dawn that he'd let her go to Jeff only if it was forever, I admit, I swooned. That was indescribably heart melting.<br>

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So very good job, big thumbs up, and huge kudos too. Admittedly, this story wouldn't have the punch it did without "light of dawn" to proceed it, but still, between the two and perhaps of all your stories, I'd rank it as my favorite after "Plain Jane". The Kramer family really won me over and wishing that I could spend a little more time with them.

that I haven't said to you already? You nailed it through the uprights from a hundred yards away, Mused. What an incredible journey. Thank you, so much. ~Chargergirl

The best written and most mature of your work so far. Thanks for the happy ending. The scene where Vince figures out his children's secret and acts to bring them together at last is wonderful. I am looking forward to buying your novel when it is published. If you could let us know what your pen name will be we'll know to look for it.

Wow What more is there to say. Hope when you return your new stories measure up to this.

..well deserved for both Light of Dawn/Dusk. I LOVED both stories. Also, I have to admit to my eyes starting to water,(and I'm a man), when Vince figured it out and gave his blessing. What more can I say? Don't be away too long Mused

im still rooting the light of a new day, but thats just me

Its the end we all hoped for, but for the longest time it looked like it would never be. The scene of the father's realization and turn around was just wonderful. I think this series will; go down as your best ever!!

Hope to see much more from you in the VERY near future.

Thank you so much for continuing the story of jeff and dawn. I loved the light of dawn and i loved this also. Thanks. *Vick*

please dont go away for too long!

That was a marvelous story! I have read hundreds of stories on this site & very few have manipulated my emotions as well as my loins the way your epic about Dawn & Jeff has. I would like to read an epilogue as to see if Jeff could ever lay down the sword with his dad & how the grandkids do. But that is entirely up to you. I have an imagination & I like to think that things will be alright for the Kramers! Great story, hope to see a submission from you sometime fairly soon but take all the time you need to create! Take care Mused...ciao

Jim

I love this series! Light of Dawn and Light of Dusk are wonderful. I really like how you developed and matured the characters in Light of Dusk. Sad to hear you're taking a vacation from literotica. Please come back soon! There are not enough quality stories on this site already so you leaving will be tough. Thank you for sharing your stories.

Another heartfelt story with an emotional ride and an amazing end. I cant wait to read the stories that follow your return.

the chant gets louder each time...Kramer...KRamer..KRAmer..

KRAMER!

Don't be gone long.

i actually had second thoughts if i should read this sequel, but i'm glad i did. keep writing, though i would love to read more um....smut...since i noticed you write the least scex scenes of all literotica writers :) hehehe

i have to say, for reviews and criticism sake, that i just sort of browsed towards the end of your other fic (no not this one, this one is marvelous!), it just got too dramatic for me and i kind of pitied the girl too much.

It's one of my favorite of stories on Lit, although I'm not sure I can express why. All I know is that I am drawn back to this story time and again. Really great stuff.

I am shocked that you are posting stories here. I have read many #1 bestselling novels that were not as captivating as this. I strongly suspect your absence was due to a book tour or fine tuning your screenplay

for some hollywood director to break box office records with the movie he made of your work.ABSOLUTELY PERFECT LOVE STORY!!!! Don't ever stop writing you are an amazing storyteller.

I thought it was great that during this whole thing they always worried the Dad would find them and he ended up being the one who kind of put them together. The whole thing was great and I love all your stories :)

There a so many ways that you managed to do what I would have though impossible: make an incest story a wonderful romance, keep a high level of sexual tension and interest while not have too many sex scenes. Just an amazing job. You've certainly defied my own stereotype that men can't write compelling love stories, this was so romantic. I'm blown away, you are really talented. I'm sure your novel will be very well-received.

I didn't like 'Light of Dawn' much, I must admit. But I just _have_ to read a story to the end. Boy, am I glad I did. This story is a gem. Keep it up.

I am far from a sentimental guy, but I still got a little glassy eyed when Dawn returned to Jeff. Really excellent work.

One word- beautiful.

This was simply the best story I've read for a while=] <3 Good Job..

Amazing... this one word is everything I think about your story. AMAZING Mused.

wow this whole series was amazing. you are a really gifted writer

The story is just sooo beautiful...love it love it love it!!

really good writing.i am addicted to whole series.you are an amazing writer!!!

You could have done better on the whole story all together. It was terrible the story was lacking more detail and was somewhat unreadable. Could have done way better on the ending to it really fit the story the way it should have.

I stayed up all night reading this entire series non-stop, beginning to end. I was just hooked from the first paragraph. It was fantastic, and wonderfully written. I was especially shocked at the ending, because I was all set for an unhappy one. But the way you worked it was amazing, and really fitting for those two who had been through so much. And for a guy who normally virtually no emotion, I feel no embarrassment admitting I'm teared up a little as I leave this comment. Beautiful job, and I definitely do look forward to reading your other submissions.

Ditto to the last comment. I've been hooked and I've read all chapters all weekend nonstop. What an excellent story. I'm glad to see Jeff and Dawn with a happy ending. What an emotional roller coaster ride. Mused, you're now one of my favorite writers in this site. Awesome story!

WWWOOOOOOOWWWWWWW... AMAZING! i had so much emotion going on throughout reading the entire series. by the end i was crying. though I was freaking out that she would marry that roger dick but the ending was absoulutly perfect. you are an incredible writer aswell. im guessing these arent your first stories? have you ever written any books that have been published? consider it, i think you could go far. and if it helps, i would buy your book.

TK

I couldn't get enough of it, I read the whole thing, both stories non-stop start to ending... I have read many different stories on here and I have to say "You Are One Hell Of A Writer"... If you're not writing professionally, then son, you have missed out on your calling... SERIOUSLY!!!

I look forward to seeing more of your stories in the near future... The only one you have on here now that I haven't read is Blessings and I am going to start on it now...

Thank You Mused...

I read both series in one sitting. Great stories! I can't wait to read more of your stuff. :]

both stories were amazing!!!!! i laughed, cried an felt the passion that the characters felt. please keep writing..........

This story was amazing i cried and laughed can you please contine writing because this is one out of a few storys i enjoy. :-)

When I popped onto this site I was not expecting such a wonderful tale told by a talented story teller. I read both parts from beginning to end all in one night. Had many mixed emotions (Wanted to beat Jeff up at the beginning, wanted to kill Jenny by the end) but it was all wonderful. I have to agree with some, if you aren't a professional author you should try it out. Enticing and lovable characters like these should not be hidden in the recesses of literotica space. I will be taking time out to read more of your work.

Well now that I've finished the entire series, I'm extremely impressed. You wrote one hell of a story.

Jeff ended up with a devoted, loving wife whose months of training with Jase and his many friends has taught her the pleasure giving skills of a highly experienced cocksucker and cum swallower. Best of all and most miraculously, we have to believe that JEFF'S cock was the only one that was ever fucked into her beautiful (and regularly displayed to everyone in Jase's groups) red hair covered pussy?? A truly wondrous thing... if only it could be believed.

Can you imagine how Jeff would feel every time she sucked him off?... think it might play on his mind just a bit when the memories kick in that his cock is just one of hundreds that she's artfully sucked off, drained dry and licked clean of any residual cum??? With those thoughts in mind, how long would his hard on (and, subsequently, their relationship) last?

It was a truly great story but maybe you can see why I don't see how it's possible that they could ever get around all the shit that happened in your story. The destruction was just too fucking monumental.

Well now that I've finished the entire series, I'm extremely impressed. You wrote one hell of a story.

Jeff ended up with a devoted, loving wife whose months of training with Jase and his many friends has taught her the pleasure giving skills of a highly experienced cocksucker and cum swallower. Best of all and most miraculously, we have to believe that JEFF'S cock was the only one that was ever fucked into her beautiful (and regularly displayed to everyone in Jase's groups) red hair covered pussy?? A truly wondrous thing... if only it could be believed.

Can you imagine how Jeff would feel every time she sucked him off?... think it might play on his mind just a bit when the memories kick in that his cock is just one of hundreds that she's artfully sucked off, drained dry and licked clean of any residual cum??? With those thoughts in mind, how long would his hard on (and, subsequently, their relationship) last?

It was a truly great story but maybe you can see why I don't see how it's possible that they could ever get around all the shit that happened in your story. The destruction was just too fucking monumental.

amazing! just.... fucking amazing!!!

i must say that i thought i had a pretty open mind before i read my first incest story. now the way i see it is that sometimes the universe screws up you now ?. the universe/fate/god/gods or whatever make mistakes such as putting soul mates in the shape of brothers and sisters in this world .

This is my second time reading both series, and the second time I am both equally impressed and distraught. I hate that I have no more to read of this passage. I so very much want to see another chapter in Dawn and Jeff's life. I feel deep down there could be so much more! You have the ability to make this such an epic series, and I soon hope to see more. You have all of my support. I've read other submissions in this category, all far less impressive. While they hold my attention, I am not entranced as I am in Light of Dawn & Light of Dusk. Thank you for providing such an amazing piece, and I do look foward to reading your other submissions.

im in love with the whole story starting from light of dawn its so ramantic i love how first he was a total asshole and then ended up loving her i loved the most was how she made her life a living hell just to make jeffs life amazing!!!

you are avery talented auther i thimk you became mmy favriot auther thank you for this incredable love story yyou shoul think aout makeing more storys this dramatic and intense i realy lovvvvvvvvve this story

I've read a few of you stories and think you are an amazing writer. The thing I love about your stories is that they aren't just about sex, they're about love, family, and the importance of bonds. The struggle's some of the charters go through, it makes me want to read forever. Some other stories, they have no plot, or setting. It makes them boring an dull. But your stories come alive, making me feel as if I'm part of them! Truely a beautifil pice of work.

I never thought I would actually cry while reading a story about incest, but damn you are an amazing writer. The way you captured the fact that society would rip them apart if it ever came to light and how it tortured the both of them was heart wrenching. Definitely one of the best romance stories I've ever read.

There is a lot of potential for a sequel too. I can imagine that as Jeff slowly becomes a star that people will start prying into his personal life more. You could easily have a reporter expose it to the whole world and have them deal with the aftermath. You could really confront many sociological issues head on, it would make for an extremely compelling story.

Ur an amazing writer I cried and came and cried and came I called up my big bro and i told him abou t my crush on him ever science we were kids and he told me he felt that same way but was too afraid to ad mitt it and that was about threemontsh ago and now I'm two months pregnant with his baby!!

this is one of the best written stories here.Characters you care about.endings you hope to see.Not very realistic but then who needs reality here.Great work.please write more.

hehe I have read literally thousands of stories from many great writers such as Jessy19 severusmax amasterfound and oldkingclancy and you have just taken a place on my hall of fame for great writers loved this series

You have blown my mind with your amazing stories! I hope they never stop, you are the best writer on this site!!

I love happy endings and this was the one I wanted. Yes, I know its just a story. Thank you for writing.

That was a great happy ending very GREAT

Moving....

wow. just, wow. at first i felt sorry for dawn and loathe jeff the way he treats her. then, kind of disappointed at dawn, felt sorry for jeff. took nearly 5 hrs to complete this tale and by this page, at the near end, i was sure it will be a hopeless love story..i was wrong. great story. one minus point; i really hoped jeff would kill that bastard riley.

One of the most classier stories I have seen on this site. Unusual char, realistic portrayal and what a lovely way of presenting their vulnerabilities and the way they dealt with them and their feelings and their situation.

Totally impressive. Than you for giving such a lovely glimpse into such a lovely chars and story. :-)

This is literally the best story I've EVER read in my fucking life.

This is the best erotica I have ever read. I like that they ended up together!

I've read the entire story but reserved my comments until I completed it.

As a person that has experienced incest and love I was totally enthralled by your wonderful story. Though my affair was with a cousin and not a sibling, I understand fully, the depth of love that can be felt between family members. You have put in words what I am unable to describe.

You have expressed all the emotions that could be displayed. I am so pleased to have had the opportunity to have read this work.

Fantastic job and thank you.

Lib67

I absolutely loved this story, until the end of it.

Is this based out of Missouri

suck it ends here...i surely would like to continue this novella....

Just loved it...

You wrote a wonderful story then ended it in a rush does not sit well ending is far too rushed.all that trouble in writing it then you spoil it.need to rewrite the ding and carry it on.

What a great narrative. When I started reading from this website a few months ago I hardly expected to become enriched and eager with anticipation to read what happens to these characters.

What great characters. So unique and twisted. Jeff being the most broken of all, developed into such a great character. My heart broke for Vince, most of all, living in the shadow of a mistake long ago affecting his relationship with his son for so long. Especially towards the end when he seemed to come to grips with the fact that his relationship with his son will never be a good one but he so clearly wanted what's best for him. Truly sad but so heart warming.

Thank you for ending the story with a happy ending. 5 stars. Bravo.

Great story, very well told.

But as with so many stories on here, the end was just too rushed.

8 chapters to Part 1 and another 4 for Part 2 - but you drew the whole thing to an end in just 12 short paragraphs. Why so many authors do this I don't understand. It's almost as if you get bored with the story, or that you haven't really thought how to end it and just any old thing will do to wind matters up. Just so very sad and disappointing after a really nice story up until that point.

But still worth 5 Stars though !

Thanks for a great story I really enjoyed the whole story from start to finish the only thing that I would have enjoyed more was seeing Jase Riley suffer more but loved the way that you built Jeff from being a fairly unlike able person to someone that you really wanted a good ending for.

Bloody fantastic story and very well told.

Such a good story. The conflicting emotions of love and wanting to do the 'right thing'. The story is so well written that you can feel Jeff's emotions and his love for Dawn as well as Dawn's love and her mis-guided willingness to sacrifice her love so that her Jeff doesn't face any issues in his professional career.

I loved the part where their dad wakes up to the fact the Jeff and Dawn love each other when he sees the Mother's wedding ring on Dawn's finger after he had given it to Jeff. And that the father is the catalyst that forces Dawn to accept her love for Jeff when he asks her 'do you love him'.

Great story.....

the entire story held my attention to such a degree, with each chapter I could not wait to see what the next held. When the last Chapter appeared to close this great story of family hardships, unrequited love and passion, and romantic catastrophe I was so looking forward to a wonderful ending. Alas it was not to be. The final paragraphs were a disappointing rush to close the book! So only 4 stars. Hope the future changes this closing style.

After reviewing your submission history it appears, for whatever reason, you have quit writing. Too bad. Although I was/am critical of the Light of Dusk ending, I did enjoy your writing style. Hopefully, all is well with you; looking forward to your future authorship.

.... the ending was awful.

You finished it a chapter too soon. It leaves too many things unfinished.

Was she pregnant, if so was it a boy or girl, did they play at husband and wife, did Vince ever come back into their lives, did Tara and Jenny visit, did Jase ever 'out' them ?

I gave it 5 stars for what you did write, but that still leaves me disapointed for what you didn't write.

Rapier

I love you’re writing style and your character development. I do wish this final chapter was longer, there was so much there to work with. Tara knowing how Jeff felt about Dawn, Jenny insert herself in Dawn and Jeff’s relationship and her not wanting Dawn to marry Roger. Most of all Vince and Jeff’s relationship. With that being said, it still was a fantastic final ending.

really a great story. one of my favorites. i agree with some of the comments about it being to short at the end - but i think thats your style. i know you haven't written in a while - but if you ever write for Literotica again an "epilogue" to this story would be great. but what a great ride during this story. well-written, the last sex scene was tender and loving - just a brilliant story. THANKS!

im glad you left open for more story line you are truly a very talented author thank you for your stories

Great story loved it. Now in favourites

Scores 5/5

Okay, I gave you 5/5 four times in a row. When I was reading Light of Dawn, I almost exclusively gave you nothing but ones. Consider yourself forgiven and redeemed. Light of Dusk was far far better than Light of Dawn. The ending sentence was excellent. But a scene with Daddy visiting his kids at their home in Florida and they are not fighting would have been welcome.

great story

Great story man this was one of your . Pay no attention to any and all naysayers

You had me going up until the end there. Thought she might go through with it. But then you turn it around with the ring reveal and her dad figuring it out. A nice ending though an epilogue would make it perfect, showing a little bit of their future with their child and what not.