Either that or get an editor...changing tenses willy-nilly, bad grammar, him, her, me, I or all at once...geez, the mind spins with all the misuses. The difficulty in deciphering the grammar took away any value in the story.
by
Anonymous11/12/07
Deformed victim?
Use Google to help you with basic physiology… 'I slide more of me into you, till I feel the barrier.' The barrier is at the entrance.
by
Anonymous11/18/07
was alright
The person before me commenting is such a fucking virgin. It I'm a woman and I know damn well the barrier wasn't at the entrance. It's inside a woman's pussy a bit. It's not just right at the beginning. Anonymous virgin, wait till you have sex to be giving advice on it. mmk?
by
Anonymous12/08/07
Lay Off
What the hell are you people looking for? So Cliff is no Hemingway.
All he does is write a very hot erotic story which is what I am looking for. So congratulations Cliff and keep it up.
by
Anonymous03/21/08
Who's the vigin now?
Many sources, including romance novels and other materials that describe virginity loss, mistakenly indicate that the hymen is somewhere up inside the vagina. This is a common misconception. The hymen is part of the external genitalia.
by
Anonymous07/28/08
i love it
THIS WAS AWESOME.WRITE MORE OF THIS. I ENJOYED IT
by
Anonymous04/06/09
Awesome
Awesome, one of the best i've read so far
by
Anonymous05/11/09
@ Lay Off
He doesn't have to be Hemmingway, but if it doesn't flow better than 7th grade english, then it detracts from the sexual excitement when you have to translate as you go.
by
Anonymous08/22/09
Not bad!
Story is good but there is some grammatical mistakes which takes away hard works of Mr. Cliff from him. At the end. . . . It was a good one.
by
Anonymous08/23/09
Not that great.
The story itself was pretty good, but the strange narration technique of the guy describing to the girl what she was feeling... It was very distracting.
by
Anonymous02/19/10
don't give up day job
what a waste of time this should have been in the nonconsent area also a virgin that was forced like that would probably not be able to walk much less be on top what an idiot only a loser would write or enjoy such trash
by
Anonymous08/05/10
Rough...
Good story... in thoery... but the gammer... it just killed it...
English
Learn to write English, please!
Either that or get an editor...changing tenses willy-nilly, bad grammar, him, her, me, I or all at once...geez, the mind spins with all the misuses. The difficulty in deciphering the grammar took away any value in the story.
Deformed victim?
Use Google to help you with basic physiology… 'I slide more of me into you, till I feel the barrier.' The barrier is at the entrance.
was alright
The person before me commenting is such a fucking virgin. It I'm a woman and I know damn well the barrier wasn't at the entrance. It's inside a woman's pussy a bit. It's not just right at the beginning. Anonymous virgin, wait till you have sex to be giving advice on it. mmk?
Lay Off
What the hell are you people looking for? So Cliff is no Hemingway.
All he does is write a very hot erotic story which is what I am looking for. So congratulations Cliff and keep it up.
Who's the vigin now?
Many sources, including romance novels and other materials that describe virginity loss, mistakenly indicate that the hymen is somewhere up inside the vagina. This is a common misconception. The hymen is part of the external genitalia.
i love it
THIS WAS AWESOME.WRITE MORE OF THIS. I ENJOYED IT
Awesome
Awesome, one of the best i've read so far
@ Lay Off
He doesn't have to be Hemmingway, but if it doesn't flow better than 7th grade english, then it detracts from the sexual excitement when you have to translate as you go.
Not bad!
Story is good but there is some grammatical mistakes which takes away hard works of Mr. Cliff from him. At the end. . . . It was a good one.
Not that great.
The story itself was pretty good, but the strange narration technique of the guy describing to the girl what she was feeling... It was very distracting.
don't give up day job
what a waste of time this should have been in the nonconsent area also a virgin that was forced like that would probably not be able to walk much less be on top what an idiot only a loser would write or enjoy such trash
Rough...
Good story... in thoery... but the gammer... it just killed it...
Add more to this story continue it cx lovin it
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