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wow...
Without a doubt, this is the worst story I've ever read.
Shaking my head
Please do NOT attempt to write any romance...it's not your forte. If you would have placed this as an erotic encounter MAYBE the score would be higher, but as it is, written as a romance it's a no-go...
Um, no
Ok, this story definitely didn't work. Let me offer some constructive criticism: First of all, this was definitely not a romance - the romance category is supposed to involve actual love with the sex. The characters' behavior and descriptions, except for the father's, simply didn't fit for either the time period or general human reality. "Not a trickle of hair?" That doesn't mean the girl's a virgin, it means she either shaves or is prepubescent, & given the historical setting, probably the latter! You gave very little background that would explain why the girl's so determined not to marry Jack, and on top of that to disgrace her family. Even assuming she was looking to disgrace her family, it seems highly unlikely that she would simply run to the nearest available male to take her virginity. Also, coming up to the farmhand, she seemed way too experienced for a supposed virgin, especially with regard to oral sex. Oh, and having this man's superhumanly large dick penetrate her for the first time, and actually orgasm and enjoy the experience? Not likely. All in all, if you want to write a historical romance, do a little research on the historical period so you can make the characters' names and behavior fit, develop those characters, keep their anatomy and sexual responses realistic, and have the sex actually mean something.
Another tip
I'm sorry, but I couldn't in fairness rate this even at a 25. The person below me outlined the reasons why this story doesn't qualify as a romance, and some of the various problems.
Tip: No matter what kind of story you are writing, it's always better to write about things you know, at least at first until you develop greater writing skills. Your biography says you are a young male from South Africa. If true, then write stories from a perspective that you know. It will add authenticity, and make it easier to ignore the grammar mistakes and misspellings. As you can see, you didn't capture the mindset of an 18-year old from the 13th Century at all. Try writing from the perspective of a young male from your region first.
A TYPICAL GOING AFTER CUMMING TALE OF YORE
and Lady Tracy's honor was restored. All lived happily ever after except for the horseman, TK U MLJ LV NV
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