All Comments on 'News of My Suicide is Exaggerated'

For the life of me, I can't imagine why I would tell a good author to cut his wrists, but it's signed with my name and the description fits, so it must have been me!

Not to pick a nit, but aren't you supposed to use shave cream and aftershave when you use a razor blade? Otherwise, the fashion police might get upset with you.

I got a similar note a couple of months ago from that particular personality of the hysteric who posts under the handle 'Anonymous'. However, they suggested the next thing I write is a suicide note.

I tried that once and didn't like it very much so I ignored them.

I would like to thank Anonymous for those times when they're in a good mood and tell me they like my smut. ;)

That's the mark of a true author, one that can take such a cowardly, small minded, jealousy ridden comment like the one you received and make it into a humorous work that's sure to get high marks. I often wonder how many people who send in those kind of comment have had their stories rejected by this site. (if they can stop staring blindly into nothingness and wipe off the drool long enough to pen an actual story). Don't contemplate suicide just yet. I think quite a few of your real fans would be a tad upset. Great work!

Dont you dare take any notice of me ,you have a lot of unfinished work to attend to.

I love this article. I would sign it annon. but I can't spell it!!!!!!

The anon guy has offered to shit on my mother's grave, more than a few times. Suggesting that you cut your wrists isn't all that bad.

I especially roared with laughter at your spot-on indictment of the personal hygiene industry. I mean, really, what is up with them making razors that are totally useless for offing one's self? :D

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Thanks for the laughter. It helped to make my day complete.

This person usually complains about spelling and grammar. it doesn't matter to them if it's a good story or not as long as you use PROPER grammar and spelling. My problem is no one I know uses proper English. I guess it's us hillbilly rednecks from the South. I guess it doesn't matter if we are college grads or not. Ohwell, chalk one up for the delete file.

When I read this, I couldn't help but fall onto my desk and laugh my fool head off. Sir, your wry and succinct letter is a fantastic piece of satire! I love it! All throughout, I couldn't help but draw parallels between this piece and Johnathan Swift's "A Modest Proposal", as well as this remembered quote from Mark Twain: "I could not consent to deliver judgment upon any one's manuscript, because an individual's verdict [is] worthless...The great public [is] the only tribunal competent to sit in judgment upon a literary effort." Keep up the good work!

PS: Would that I could leave my name, but I have no account here, so I will—ironically—exit with the eponymous nom de plume of "Anonymous".

Anonymous told me I deserve to die from AIDS.

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I like your stories. I have you in my favorites.

... that you have to feel sorry for these people who are moved to comment so personally and negatively.

They are either living very sad, lonely existences, so feel justified in taking it out on people like your good self, but in the typical bully's way of cowardice, OR

they genuinely believe themselves to be the comedian of the moment, and you are supposed to see the ironic humour in their response.

It never ceases to amaze me how many "critics" feel they have a god-given right to tell authors how they should have written their story - usually having nothing to do with the original storyline at all. ("Anonymous" said something similar to you ref the final part of Holly's story, in fact had the cheek to INSIST you rewrite it to satisfy them!!).

I was brought up with the edict "if you've nothing good / nice to say, say nothing at all". It's a shame a few more don't share this view.

Anyway... enough of my rambling.. you have an excellent writing style, which covers many genres, and I thank you for that!

(as one of your previous commentors said - anonymous only because I do not have an account here)

Such words used by your critics as "kill yourself" are nasty, but since they are not construtive are best ignored. Keep writing.