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English
Hmmm ???
I'm not exactly sure what the point of this story was. I really didn't find any sex or erotica in it at all, apart from the woman bathing nude. Did I miss something? The story had quite a number of spelling and grammar errors as well -- none of which would be caught by the spell-check function of your computer (eg. frequent use of "then" rather than the proper "than" and frequent errors in dialogue grammar (eg. ending with periods inside of quotations when they should be commas). I'm nit-picking but it is a lit-site, sex oriented or not! You need to proof-read submissions for them to be taken seriously.
But then, I'm leaving the comment anonymously because who the hell am I, right? You can write however and whatever you want. That's the fun and freedom of writing.
good so far
I thought this was a very good start. You do need a little grammar work but the story itself is strong. Please write more, i really want to know what happens next! :)
Please continue!
I really liked this story a lot. I hope that you continue it! I think it has potential to be awesome!
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