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nice story...
... but there are serious historical bloopers that detracted from my reading pleasure. First, the Internet in 1993 wasn't as widespread as it is today, a lot less popular outside universities, and much fewer services available. Secondly, and that irked me most: there were no CDs in 1978. That year the industry had barely agreed on a standard, size and material. 1983 was the year of mass-market CDs. Back in 1978, they would have sold tapes (and/or LPs) on concerts. Zero points for research. And before anybody flames me and cries "but this is supposed to be fiction and be fun!", well: some people will take what others write as The Absolute Truth. Secondly, such blatant errors make reading un-fun for me. Thats my personal opinion.
Nope, I agree with the other
commentor. Nice story but...the bloopers are like adding a flush toilet to a story set in the 1700's, they just don't work.
Did They Live In Seattle?
I liked the story. I'll probably rereasd it for pleasure. But aside from some errors from a historical point of view I thought I had read much of this already.
There's a story here about a successful musician coming back to buy and fix up a mansion and reclaim a lover. The rest reads like Sleepless in Seattle. Not too much originality here.
great story
I really think people need to get past the nitpicking. Yeah, some things may be historically inaccurate, but so what? It's fiction, people!
I enjoyed helping sweeteuphoria edit this story and yes, perhaps we should have researched a few things better, but the overall idea of the story was put forth well.
The story wasn't about the internet or CDs, it was about two people being given a second chance.
Agree with michchic
I agree with michchick......this is a work of fiction for the readers enjoyment. Certainly the author is entilted to a bit of historical leeway. Let's look at the story this way.......How did you feel after you read it? Did you feel happy seeing a happy ending. I certainly did, and that's one of the main reasons I reads the stories here.
I am nowhere near being a professional author or critic. But I do know when I enjoy reading something, and this story is near the top of the list, as is the one by michchick.
So let's cut each other some slack and allow the readers to enjoy.
I've commented once but I had to say this to
those who say...it's just fiction. I came on this site to learn and to work my way into being published. I appreciated the contstructive criticism, done in the right way, to help improve my writing. When one of my historical romances was called out, I agreed with the person who showed me what I had done wrong and thanked him. That historical will be going into print in the spring through my publisher. So you can say, hey it's just fiction, cut her some slack. Or you can say, thanks for pointing it out, I'm going to do much better next time. It all depends upon your reason for being here.
Sorry, couldn't get into it
This story has too many scene breaks as well as switch of point of views, distracting the story.
fact and fiction
My first comment was not intended as an attack on the author. Please understand that. But apparently I haven't made myself clear why I didn't like this story as much as the others by sweeteuphoria. I've stated elsewhere that I'm a sucker for HEAs (IIRC in the comment on your story, michchick :)). As such, I liked what the story could give me (although it was a bumpy read, mostly due to the many time levels and jumps back and forth). But while the characters are fictitious, the world in which it is set is *not*. And as a reader, I -personally, while YMMV- believe that every author has to be as accurate as possible and *get the facts right*. As a reader of stories in real life settings, I often rely on the author being correct because I don't check a story against a textbook. In this, I am like a student. I learn from the stories. So I like what I read to be as accurate and correct as possible.
Good story
Unfortunately, while I thought this was a good story, it is definitely not one of my favorites by this author. I've seen much better stories from her.
Good story!
Yes there are some historical errors, those could be fixed by changing the dates forward 10 years, simple fix without a major re-write. I like the story for the main theme. There was someone in every high school class in history who got treated like that. Some of those become very successful, think Bill Gates! It is fun to remind folks of how foolish most of us were in school. How much of that really matters now? Well done!
Loved It!
I really liked this story but would have loved more sex. Switching from one time period to another was fine and added to the story.
Wait...
I am aware of the errors and an edited version of this story is on its way, so please wait for it if you intend on voting low. thanks!
Never noticed
I read this story when it was first posted and until it was mentioned, I didn't even notice about the time frames. Even with the changes, it is still a very good story and I enjoyed it thoroughly.
It is the STORY!!
I found this story through a link from michchick. I really LIKE the STORY! I noticed a couple of the historical inconsistencies. I don't care about them. I've spent 40 years writing very critical, technical things for the military (USAF pilot, retired) and airlines (Captain, retired). Here, the focus is the STORY! And I LIKE this story! It was like I was sitting in a lounge with her, listening to her tell the story. LIKE it!
Argh!!
THEN what happened?!?! Gimme an epilogue or somethin'! Ya can't leave a girl hangin'!!!!
Sweet piece; kudos!
Sack your editor!
" Noah told Jessie about how he knew Kellie and had his son promise he would never treat anyone that terrible.
Jessie is terrible?
"Terrible" used to describe someone or something, is an adjective, that is - a word used to qualify or describe a noun,The correct form is an adverb, that is a word used to qualify a verb - in this case the verb "to treat!
An adverb usually ends in "ly", thus the correct form to use is "terribly", as in " he would never treat anyone that terribly" (That particular sentence would also flow better if you used "so", rather than "that").
Nice story, but
Dialog is stilted.
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