by DomD
The descriptive sex was hot, but are you so egotistical to assume that being black makes you an irresistable male? As a black man, I have dated black and white women, not too mention a few asians; but neither I nor any other man that I know treated women like you do in your stories. You are not black like a man, you are black like a piece of shit. If this tripe was served up by a KKK member, you would be all over that shit like ugly on an ape; but since it was spouted by an equally racist black man it's ok?!? Fuck that and fuck you too you racist pig. Do the world a favor and castrate yourself.
Every author has the right to write a story he likes, but as a reader, I get to rate it the way I want. I didn't like the ending at all. If I want to read something depressing, I'll read a newpaper.
In saying all that, you're a good writer. I did enjoy the story until the ending. Keep writing.
JD
you really have to be the scum on earth, you even beat bush and that will mean something!
Your lack of creativity in the ending ruined this story. She could have gone off to school, got a good job and could have sucessfully broken the cycle of her step mother. Are you really that angry with this character - she did everything you asked of her? You were untrue to your earlier story line - support, help, make something of herself. I'm not looking for a fairy tale ending - hey, she could be hit by a car, drown or not have her chute open when she went skydiving - all more reasonable than the depravity you ended this with. You led the reader to believe she would make something of herself. Your ending ruined an otherwise excellent story.
DomD,
Your ending was terrific. If anyone paid attention to your characters' development, that was the most appropriate ending although it wasn't the ending that would have been the "happy ending." Evie turned out the way she should have because all throughout the story you had her as a weak-minded whore, it just makes sense that she would "cum" out the way she did without The Man's (yes, he was the man) influence.
Kudos.
As a married white woman I thought the story was pretty good. Yes it was racist but isnt that what makes it so exciting about a black man dominating a white woman? As for the ending it could have been a bit more interesting. He could have taken her back for awhile and fucked her while she was pregnant or have gone different areas with her. Or his frined could have taken her off his hands and make her a prostitute as well. I would think you could make a sequeal to this story if you wanted to. If anyone as a comment they would like to send to me please e mail me at whitewifedoblackcock@yahoo.com
Love,
Amber
Chapters 1 and 2 were good reading and then you lost it. Enough said.
You had a great story going with the possibility of it ending many decent ways(them getting married, her leaving him and having a happy life, etc.) But instead you decided to go with an ending that was down right horrible.
I loved the first two chapters of the story, incredibly sexy. I just did not enjoy the ending. Guess I wanted them to live happily ever after fucking all day everyday haha oh well it was still a story worth reading.
I HAAAAATED THE ENDING, COULD HAVE HAD THEM GET MARRIED OR SOMETHING. A GREAT CHAIN, BUT THE ENDIN PISSED ME OFF.
the end was really shitty which put a bad taste to your writing,not good
This seems like a really sad ending after building her up like she was going to make something of herself or at the very least date this guy at some point.
I like how it ended, reflected something realistic and not just the typical happy endings.. Enjoyed the read :-) x
I loved this story, but i was surprised by the ending. Thought it was going to be some happily ever after shit. Sucks that she disobeyed him! She got what was coming to her tho!