Not a lot of plot, but I can't argue with your execution. It was well-written and the sex was incredibly hot. Your descriptions and details left me excited and tingling all over. Thanks!
by
Anonymous11/30/07
I got as far as "canoe".
Canoes aren't rowed with oars, they are paddled with paddles - different actions, different tools.
Ok, I know I'm breaking several writer's rules here by commenting on my own story and by getting annoyed at complaints, but if this is a reader's idea of criticism then you can take a paddle and shove it up your ass sideways. An anonymous message pointing out an error in word choice while ignoring the rest of the story is a low blow. Maybe the reason people comment anonymously is so others won't go through their stories with a fine-tooth comb or, even worse, find out they don't have the talent or dedication to write their own. So, fellow writers, keep writing.. and fellow readers, I hope you enjoy the stories, imperfect as they may be.
by
11/30/07
Very descriptive prose
which I very much enjoyed. I don't usually enjoy stories written in the I/you person, but this was pretty good. Good luck with your writing,
I absolutely love this story so much.. it reminded me so much of my own experience with my bf. Incredibly hot, got me so horny and the vivid description is so.. real. Thanks for the great story!!
English
Hot and wet.
Not a lot of plot, but I can't argue with your execution. It was well-written and the sex was incredibly hot. Your descriptions and details left me excited and tingling all over. Thanks!
I got as far as "canoe".
Canoes aren't rowed with oars, they are paddled with paddles - different actions, different tools.
With all verisimilitude gone, I quit...
Mistake
Ok, I know I'm breaking several writer's rules here by commenting on my own story and by getting annoyed at complaints, but if this is a reader's idea of criticism then you can take a paddle and shove it up your ass sideways. An anonymous message pointing out an error in word choice while ignoring the rest of the story is a low blow. Maybe the reason people comment anonymously is so others won't go through their stories with a fine-tooth comb or, even worse, find out they don't have the talent or dedication to write their own. So, fellow writers, keep writing.. and fellow readers, I hope you enjoy the stories, imperfect as they may be.
Very descriptive prose
which I very much enjoyed. I don't usually enjoy stories written in the I/you person, but this was pretty good. Good luck with your writing,
One of my favourites!
I absolutely love this story so much.. it reminded me so much of my own experience with my bf. Incredibly hot, got me so horny and the vivid description is so.. real. Thanks for the great story!!
Click here to leave your own comment on this submission! or
Back to Passion On the Water or
More submissions by MrKnowitall.