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English
Maybe it has possibilities
The formatting is not good. The use of the present tense is not good.
It seems pretty clear that the twins - all but one of the guys - did some mixing and matching thirty years ago
Did they continue? Did they father each other's kids?
The suspense is gone - and if this isn't the plot line you'd better get the reader's attention back immediately
Could be a good story ...
but I find the way its written hard to follow.
Eighteen x One - Page Chapters ?? what the heck
Oh Come come now, There are Eighteen One-page Chapters. this will take us then, well into the new year. This is long long long. Some of us will have changed jobs, cars, even spouses by then,. not to mention those with a short attention . . something.
Where was I, of yes. . . Even jpb (the other one) is not this niggardly with his prose.
But yes your tale has possibilities for a plethora of permutations.
Yours, Kilroy
Go ahead and give up now
We all dont need the rest of the chapters. You write like shit......please spare us all the pain.
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