All Comments on 'The Book of David Ch. 01'

This story pretty much has it all, I loved it!

Yet another football(?) player/ cheerleader story. I always try to finish every story I start but this was difficult. A pity because the spelling and grammar were pretty much perfect, enabling an easy read. These sort of storylines always seem to follow the same pattern, as if the authors have no other experience of life.

This was a really good precursor to what is hopefully a long story. You always put out quality material, I look forward to the coming chapters!

Only so many ways to write the teenage angst story. This was the best I've read in a long, long time and is another winner from one of the better authors. Excellent!

very very good story, though i hate it when it gets all cheaty and stuff, makes me feel to involved and embarressed, but thats also why its such a good story, i only really get onvolved in a story when its really good, so congratulations, youve just created a masterpiece!!!

Excellent story!! The main character has it all. (lucky)

bullcrap,saving pussy was a b/s.she didn't care enough for david to give it up.

...but from what you wrote, it was obvious that Ellie/Elemis didn't. Will we ever find out who got to her 1st?

I finally finished all the chapters, and I must say: This is the Best Story I have read in a VERY long time.

You get WRAPPED up in the characters, and find yourself thinking about them throughout your normal day!

This is the best story all 14Chapters i have read thanks for Writing!

I have read all the chapters, and I must say that the story of David's was absolutely captivating, and one of the best stories I have ever read. His story took me on an emotional roller-coaster ride, that left me crying one minuet and laughing the next. I absolutely loved it, Thanks for the great reads.

I must say, right off the bat it was just okay. However the brilliance of this series becomes clear as the chapters continue. By the end you will feel as though you were a part of "David's" life, longing for more of the beautiful moments that litter the "pages".

It came to a point where I was reading it more for the story than for the eroticism.

Take the time and read the whole series before you make any judgements!

Thank you Bluedragonauthor!

Thank you for your story. The lenght of the story was like extended foreplay. Good. Very good.

Monica saving herself was bullshit. If she really cared, she wouldn't have done it in the back of a stupid car with some guy.

I got REALLY pissed when Monica got it in the back of a car. BULLSHIT! Why the fuck would she lose her virginity in the back of a CAR to get back at the boyfriend she was waiting for!She organized the whole thing. Seriously, what horny teenage guy would turn down a horny cheerleader?!

This is the best story around.

I have read many stories in this site but this series is BY FAR THE BEST.

After reading all the chapters you feel like you are a part of the story yourself.

Thank you BlueDragonAuthor for this great story.

Have you ever thought of publishing it as a book? :)

This is the first time I have ever left a comment on this site, but for this author and story I feel it is deserved. Bluedragon is perhaps one of the best authors on this site of any I have read. He has a way of humanizing every character, yet involves them in situations that are every man's fantasy.

I commend you, and hope you continue to write on this site for as long as you are happy doing so.

Nice!

i REALLY liked this one. More coming soon I hope?

deserve my virginity..." What a fucking crock of baloney! Makes for good plots though...I'm 62 years old, and I would tell her to jump "over into the backseat", myself. There is no such animal as the "golden pussy". Just wish I had known that when I was eighteen...Oh well...Live and learn.

Honestly i think that this could be published as a book.

ranks in my top 5 posibly even my top 2.

If I waited years for a girl who thew a hot horny chick at me I'd be furious she set me up. Plus Id blow, drag my friend off her and give her a piece of my mind tossing her in the front till we can talk. Thats just evil of her cock tease is right. Cant wait for more though hee hee, perhaps I'm a sucker 4 punishment

point blank she knew it was bound to happen she shouldn't have been such a cock tease that's why guys cheat. great story keep it up :D

Maybe its just my interpretation but Monica can't have much going on upstairs if she thinks a horny 18 year old constantly being let down by her refusals is going to resist a hot horny girl who throws herself at him.

Either way, based purely on this Chapter, and before I start Chapter 2, this is going to be a hell of a good series.

she cant really be that stupid. i mean she honestly thought he would say no to a hot 18 yr old who wanted to be his "slut"? Great story, though i would have thought he would be more angry at her giving her supposedly 'precious' virginity to someone she didnt love which was her arguement for not having sex with him in the first place. she caused it by giving the go ahead to her friend so its her fault really. only read this chapter so far but im definately reading the rest if theyre as good as this.

After Monica told him that he failed the test, David should have told her "You cocktease me for more than 2 years, then tell your drop dead gorgeous best friend to try to seduce me, and you are surprised because I failed your little "test"? Bullshit! You just got the hots for Nate and decided to manufacture an excuse to fuck him. Well, one thing's for sure (as he pulls the chain with his ring on it from around her neck, breaking the chain) I don't want anything more to do with you, you're used goods now, just another fuckin' slut, you and your fuckin' best friend no longer exist for me, you're dead," and then spit in her face. "And if you see me on the street or in school, don't speak to me because I guarantee you will not like my response, and you can give your fuckin' slut of a best friend the same message." Then Monica should try to say something to him in a busy hallway in school and his response is to slap her and say loudly "I told you to never speak to me again you fuckin' slut". Then, after some time passes, Cheryse could intervene on Ellie's behalf and convince him to forgive her and eventually start to date her.

THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH WAITING!

(Aside from that, great story, wonderful beginning!)

I'm sorry, but saying "Monica deserved to be cheated on for being a cocktease" just makes you seem like a huge misogynistic douchebag.

Realistic, exciting, funny, full of sex and good natured. Excellent story. As for Monica's discussion, I don't think she was wrong or right. Monica and David had different goals for future, so their break up was natural.

This story makes me feel sick

But I admire how everyone is at least trying to act mature about what happened. Hope it works out for all four of them, but gosh, what a gut-wrench!

Good writing but the part where they cheated made me about get sick

Well that was a jaw dropper to say the least.... Sure made me think about my own little circle... :/

well done, Sir.

This made me in a very bad mood! Not cause it heppened, but how he reacted. I would have been furius! I would have yelled until my throat was sore! I would have... I mean yes, he cheated, but not in the back of HERS car, when she was three feet away!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FUCK I'M PISSED!!!

I don't want to read more of this man, not after the cheating! AND HE SHOULD NOT FUCKING DATE ELLIE!!!

Clearly, this piece is a good representation of how effectively words can move us. Throughout the piece, I found myself rooting for David to retain his fidelity, but as I feel the author wanted, secretly hoped something would happen with Elemis. Clearly, a testament to the author's skill. Bravo, sir. I look forward to reading more of your work.

I know he cheated, I understand she wanted to breakup but still.... why??!! Fuck it to hell.. what about her remaining virgin till her marriage...this whole situation pisses me off royally

What about Nate? Sure monica knew but what excuse could he give for his backstabbing. What a sucky best friend to have

David had always backed out when she said no. She knew of Ellie's crush on David and yet she chose to "test" David's fidelity by giving ellie the go ahead just to stroke her own ego. If David had resisted, she would have felt smug at the cost of Ellie's heartbreak. Even when he failed, he had the decency to act guilty, not like Monica who just rubbed it in his face.

ummmm this... should not be ur day job... writing sci fi.. real stories should... thats good too good to be in a porn lol... actually making me like the chars... and making me think monica was a idiot.. for basically sacrificing her bf to her best friend... granted there are men who have iron will... but u should never tempt fate...

I feel like my lungs were just ripped out of my chest. I've read so many submissions where the protagonist was portrayed as an easily - manipulated, dull-witted drone of a man. This story is so much of a gamble, in the fact that so many of the elements of the typical "mouth breather that shit happens to" scenario are present, BUT the main character is so well defined and fleshed out that your hopes are raised towards the possibility that THIS SERIES MAY PROVE TO BE DIFFERENT. So I'm going to give it ONE more chapter. I hope so very EARNESTLY that this was merely the "sad back story " portion of what is going to hopefully become my favorite series ever! At least until "Jake ' s Sisters " gets a new chapter lol

CONGRATULATIONS. This chapter is so well written an your characters so well established. I cant wait to read the rest.

I've read this story till the end. But this first chapter is the most memorable. I love and hate it at the same time.

you know.. the backseat scene

I love how it make me feels so many feelings at the same time. Anger, sad, used, betrayed, and many other. Not only from David, but Monica, Nate and Ellie too.

but I hate it to the point of traumatic :-D

I've read this weeks ago and only today have gut to comment and " read jump " it to check the characters name.

All in all .. this far... it's the best roller coaster of feelings at this site .

Great work :-)

Just started this tale but if it doesnt improve and lead to this fucked up foursome into a prom night orgy between them why am I reading this? No real redeeming qualities in any of these four friends.

Anonymous can go wack his 3"er to kiddie porn, this was solid storytelling!

I've no idea where you are taking this, and I like that. The character background is established, now lets see what you do with these four "beautiful people".

Jason

David and Monica act like teenagers. His girlfriend gives him repeated, regular orgasms and "everything but" intercourse. He (like a lot of immature teen boys-and yes, that's BOYS, not men) is obsessed with what he can't have. She lets him have one-time privileges, with no intercourse, with her best friend to see if he can "get it out of his system". (Yes, bad idea from an immature teen girl.)

Monica is perceptive enough to realize David is really attracted to Ellie, either based on his thing for her sister or just because her best friend is hot on her own merits. She is smart enough to know a teenage boy is unlikely to stay faithful, and she doesn't want her heart broken any worse than it would be by an immediate betrayal, so she gives Ellie permission to TRY and see if he wants "real sex" more than he wants her.

Ellie seduces him and he goes right along with it, barely thinking about his commitment to his girlfriend. David knows that, whatever happened earlier in the car, HE'S got no permission to do what they did.

All he had to do was suck it up, say no, and give his girlfriend the few months she asked for. Raging hormones or not, that would be the decent, respectful thing to do for the girl to whom you had made a commitment. The commitment got flushed as soon as Ellie turned on the heat.

Cheating. Pretty clear and simple

No matter how much she expected him to do what he did, It obviously hurt Monica for all the connections they had together to be, in her mind, thrown aside just because Ellie opened her legs and she didn't. She's embarrassed and angry that she trusted him, so she makes another questionable decision to show David how she felt when Ellie told her about the affair by deliberately losing her virginity to his best friend. She hurt, she wanted him to hurt.

Bashing Ellie for putting him to the test and for doing exactly the same thing with Nate that David had already done (several times) with Ellie is pure hypocrisy. David wanted everything, right them, with whoever he found hot enough to satisfy him. That doesn't make him a total jerkass, but it does make him bad boyfriend material, at this point in his life.

Exactly. "They're Teenagers", teenagers do dumb shit driven by hormones ALL THE TIME. Hell, even adults aren't excluded from that. We usually are a "little" more in control of ourselves, but as young dumb and full of hormones often leads to cheating I would say the breakup was handled in a very adult like manor. There was no slapping, cussing, beating, locker smashing/trashing, i'm sorry baby it'll never happen again, etc. they just moved on to see if they could find happiness with their new interests.

Monica was a manipulative hussy. She entirely stacked the deck against David. David is NOT the one that ok'd the switch. "One time privilege"?! So they weren't always wondering?! What utter horseshit! David was wondering what it felt like inside of Monica and he was willing to wait so what kind of asinine bullshit is THAT?? But then Ellie is ENCOURAGED to pursue David. David was resisting the entire time until Ellie was super aggressive and goes to his house. Monica KNOWS David has a monster crush on Cherys. Monica KNOWS Ellie is the spitting image of Cherys. Monica pushed David's biggest fantasy directly under his nose and is pissed that he collapses under the weight? That's bullshit, man!

David is wrong! David was 100% wrong to sleep with Ellie. But the deck was entirely stacked against him. It would be the same as buying a house in an ultra poor, crime riddled neighborhood, stacking the garage with millions of dollars of untraceable gold bars, leaving the garage door open for everyone to look in to see, then placing a sign on the gold saying it is illegal to enter my garage or to take my gold. Finding all of my gold gone and being pissed that I was robbed, while within my rights, is subjectively idiotic to say the least.

Monica set up all the dominos for David's failure. He failed. She bears a TON of responsibility for it. On top of all of that she could have simply confronted him about it the very next day because she knew immediately. But no, Monica had to spitefully hurt David by waiting a week and fucking his best friend. His best friend, by the way, who put zero time in with Monica. Absolutely fucking ZERO. But Monica gives it up to Nate. Which INSTANTANEOUSLY invalidates every single reason she gave for waiting. She simply wanted a plausible excuse to fuck someone and she used it. Monica is full of shit. David is an asshole. But David was a setup asshole and Monica bears equal responsibility for everything. Good riddance

I can honestly say that I have never been more mad

at a story. I almost broke my phone in rage. It was a

good story and I congratulate you for it but at the same

time I fucking HATE YOU FOR IT!!! I am just

pissed at how you made things turn out. You should

have had him wait for Monica. And so even though

it is a well written story I FUCKING HATE YOU

FOR MAKING IT TO GO LIKE THIS.

I'm up to chapter 10 using the app but I just had to take a minute to look it up on the browser just so I could tell you that I'm really loving this story.

A truly beautiful tale with a great plot and enough hot sex sprinkled throughout to give my left hand a real workout.

I can't wait to see what happens next but I'll be sad to see it end.

Set a good story up perfectly then completely ruined it. Congrats.

Not gonna lie, the cheating absolutely sunk this story; completely got me out of the mood. Otherwise, good writing for it to make that happen!

I know I'm late to the party......but I can feel another Roller-Coaster ride coming. Just like "an ordinary teenage sex life", can't wait to see how CRAZY a ride this one is. Thanks for all the great writing.

Thank you very much for ruining my entire night. You JUST had to fucking do it didn't you.

He shouldn't worry. The girls created the situation and set it all up. A teen boy can't turn down pussy and the girls discussed the situation at length and made the decision for him. He's a morally weak boy slut. His now ex girlfriend is vindictive and manipulative and his long term neighbor girl "friend"didn't mind crushing him and his relationship for her personal emotional gain. They all deserve each other.

Pathetic cuck.

Monica is a SOLID-GOLD CUNT!! And, not in a good way!! Teasing David like that for years, then knowing that Ellie has SUCH a crush on him and encourages the more intimate teasing...that led up to THAT Monday night...

And, Monica just GIVES AWAY HER VIRGINITY out of anger!!?? Davis is so much better off without her as his girlfriend...it is too bad they are at school together, she will be right there "in his face" every day...

Nate...is just screwed...he has been toyed with by a girl without control over her emotions...doubt that works out for them...

Ellie is not without fault here, but I really like her!! Her resemblance to her sister, Cheryss, is a plus for both herself AND David...where will this go??

"CHEATING"...deception...'fooling around'...'extra-relationship/marital affairs'...we humans are like this...male and female alike...weak and always wanting someone else...been there, done that. I am not judging, just observing...

Five**5**Stars, for the start of another great story!

Monica gives the green light to test him after all the teasing she has done.

Ellie agrees and and does it with her best friends boyfriend.

Nate make no effort to stop Monica once it starts.

realistically David should have dumped all 3 as friends. sure as hell not asked Ellie out and agreed to still be friends with Monica.