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THIS IS

This is a really lovely story,probably the best erotic story I have ever read.Very well done Chrissie.

Good

But there are several things you can do to improve it. Fix up your grammar, check over your words to make sure you used the right ones for what u want to convey. so basically, get an editor. there are several on the site you can find. But other than some editing misshaps, this is a very sweet story.

hey

nice read

Good story, but...

Yes, you really need an editor. You must have punctuation. I had to re-read a lot of it becuase there was no punctuation used during the dialogue. Lots and lots of run-on sentences and paragraphs. Grammar needs to be worked on, too. Over all it was a good story.

I loved the story

Please continue to give us more!!!

wow

Fantastic story. So real it seemed as though I was on the riverbank!!

Lovely Story

I felt like crying at the end.

Could be great if you had proper grammar

The idea of this story was very good. You definitely need somone to assist you with your writing though, because you had a tremendous amount of grammatical errors. It was unfortunate, because it really detracted from what was a good story.

good but

good but it would have been better if she got pregnant by her brother and never married atleast his baby would have always reminded her of him

love it!

i love the story.. though it made me sad... i know his brother loved her more than a sister.. but why did he have to die??!! i mean.. he and she should live forever!! haha sorry i was kidding myself.. anyways.. i like the story.. it made me sad... though it made me enjoy reading it... anyways kudos!!!

MARVELOUS

I FOUND THIS STORY AS ONE OF THE MOST TENDER AND ROMANTIC I HAVE READ HERE. CONGRATULATIONS AND KEEP WRITING. IT IS REALLY A REALM OF PEACE AND EASY-GOING IN THE MIDDLE OF SO MUCH BRUTALITY AND ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIPS. THANKS A LOT FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART AND THE CENTER OF MY TROUSERS. HAHAHA
ALFONSO FROM MEXICO

Good

Aww...this was a good story. So sad though! The only problem i had is all the run on sentences..but other than that nice story..keep practicing and keep writing. Good Job!

That was a very sweet story. I agree about the run on sentences. Work on your writing skills but don't stop writing stories like this one.

The story really struck a nerve with me because I came up that way... isolated and had a young sister who became my lover. The ages and circumstances were very different, though. I was twelve and she was only seven. I was coached by a sixteen year old boy in what to do to her and to use Vaseline so I could get into her. It worked. Our parents were shit. We were always left alone so there was plenty of time to do what I did. She cried and I felt bad but she got over it and then we played later. The next day I did it to her again but she didn't cry. She just whimpered, at first. Later, I did it again and she just said she was sore. After two or three more days, she wasn't sore anymore. She started pushing up against me when she knew that I was having an orgasm. It wasn't long before she started actively fucking me back and then she started having orgasms, too. Her breasts started growing and she had hair on her pussy by the time she was eight. The school nurse must have known what was happening because she put her on birth control. We have three kids but that was after we'd grown up and left home.

unreadable

it need paragraphs etc etc it's unreadable

Simple beauty

This story was amazing. I was pulled in from the start and begore I knew it I had become aroused and almost felt like part of the story. Good job OP you have done something most literotica posters cannot.

Remembrance...

Mine was similar, so long ago. Thank you. I liked it.