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English
What was that?
Was it suppose to be a loving wife story, if so you lost me.
Confused
Not bad writing, dialogue is difficult and you did it pretty well. However, what was the point?
Wow, that was really.....
Wow. Really....almost impossible to read. There might have been a good story in there. But between having so much undefined dialog, or at least difficult-to-follow dialog, and the story being rather brief and never going anywhere, the overall effect is to beg the question of why we bothered with it in the first place. Try again.
-- KK in Texas
exactly
exactly... what IS the point? that question is the entire point of the piece
and no, it's not a loving wives story.. if it was, it wouldn't be in the non-erotic category.. idiot!
lol
just crap
just crap
It's an argument.
It did what it said on the tin and it did it quite well.
Who hasn't had one of these sort of rows? I think it encapsulates it quite nicely.
excellent little playlet.
Reminds me of long ago Nichols and May skits... but just real, not obviously funny (except on a cynical level where exploitation is correctly perceived but accepted). As I've told you before, you should write plays, Angel.
Ahhhm, that was....something...
I think I remeber an assignment in creative writing class which resulted in something like that... but a story?
don't listen to them
god,you people are insensitive.what it's supposed to be is an exercise,not a story.the stripped down bare bones of an argument.goldeniangel,you are one of the very best authors on this site,and you've told a very sad and true to life story.that poor girl.
Blessed are the ignorant...
Like what has already been said, this is quite obviously an exercise, or simply an illustration of the arguments that emotionally distant men and women often have. There is no reason to question author about the "point"or be nasty about the writing. The absolute most negative thing that can be said about this work is that perhaps a bit of clarification in the dialogue is in order. Other than that, it is a rather good piece of work. Kudos to you.
depressing but well written illustration
This was ,to me. a depressing story, but a wonderful illustration of a marriage that seems to be on the verge of dissolution. -very skillfully done.Nice job goldenangel
the Ct. Yankee
Yep.
You did the overt cycle pretty well. Can you do the covert counter cycle?
Loved it.
I can't stop reading your stories. I enjoy how short they are and the power they carry. I was getting chills from this. I honestly loved the confusion. I think it added to it. Like an outsider stumbling on an argument trying blindly to follow what is going on. You allowed me to piece together what was going on by myself and did not simply tell me.
Like absurd literature, sometimes it is hard to read things you are not used to. That do not follow the same patterns you usually find.
Quickly becoming one of my favorites writers to read on here.
:)
Ahhhh?
And the point is....?
Common
There are a lot of jackasses like this guy, who think that showing affection or being committed to a relationship is controlling them. The women with them need to find a real man who knows better.
Impressive
I really enjoyed this, Goldeniangel, and I appreciate how much thought you must have put into the writing style. Nice job.
The rest of you should realize that she's making an artful creation and a point about human nature and relationships, not writing a sex story. That's why it's in the non-erotic category.
Been There***
Done that!!!! Good read thanks for sharing.
LOLOL
Makes sence.................bill
5ssss
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