Great start - can't wait for more.
but your grammar and use of tense needs help. A good concept and lots of sexiness, but you should get someone to help you with editing for easier reading and flow.
but needs editing. And since Jenny is clearly a she, she's a Latina, not Latino. Off to read chapter 2!
it was very hot....write more
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English
HOT !
Great start - can't wait for more.
Hot topic, hot girl
but your grammar and use of tense needs help. A good concept and lots of sexiness, but you should get someone to help you with editing for easier reading and flow.
Hot
but needs editing. And since Jenny is clearly a she, she's a Latina, not Latino. Off to read chapter 2!
too hot!
it was very hot....write more
Click here to leave your own comment on this submission! or
Back to Manipulating Jenny Ch. 01 or
More submissions by BeamMeUp.