homeNon-Erotic Poetry7. from Love Poems of Mari AkikoPublic Comments

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7. from Love Poems of Mari Akiko

byMari_Akiko©
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by Anonymous

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by ElmerGlew01/02/08

*

This poem seems to strive for delicacy of feeling, but the language (other than the word "whines") is so ordinary and neutral as to leave only a bland result. "[C]old" and "warm" seem too plain to carry more than a straightforward meaning, and the second stanza has nothing to balance (or complement) the vividness of the verb "whines" in the first. An honorable try, though, and more interesting conceptually than the usual effort at Literotica.

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