All Comments on 'Mouth Harp'

Makes me want to practice the harmonica, though not to play the blues.

This poem was mentioned in Wednesday's New Poems Reviews.

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your opening lines.

And the thought of the devil in bed,

hmmm, now there's one for the fire below.

*winks*

sGp

And the bird call "do-weet,do" is a really nice touch, used twice for a satisfying finish. Almost Vonnegutesque (Poo-tu-weet). I really like "flash of silver muted and bang" --- where "bang" seems to be used in its adjectival form...which doesn't formally exist: That is how we poet types continue to enhance language. Also, "when he speaks words" ... well, what else would he speak, right? Well, the way you've set that up, we're not quite sure what else he might speak besides words. Exquisite. Now the howevers, which is why, despite my own urgings, i had to go with a "4" on this (but about a 4.79 let's say): "The night comes on like a train/inhaling the whole cigarette" ... God i want this to work SO BADLY but i just can't get it to do so. I almost get a firm feeling about it, but i can't get my head around either the night or a train inhaling a smoke. That's probably what you want, a confounding intro, and i'm almost there, but .... Next, "My knees fall apart slightly/in memory of motion/listening for the whole rest/that rolls like a ready egg" ... again, so close to just amazing but something eludes. Grammatically, it sounds like your knees are listening, and maybe that's the intent, but it's a touch jarring. However to the however, "whole rest that rolls" is terrific, and i almost thought it was a "trainwreck" line until the little musician in me said, "wait a minute" and it all ROLLED into place. Listening for a REST, nicely carved little oxymoron there --- Last thing: i like the work you've done on the devil (although i'm still not sure how his hat is a jaunty bird), but i sort of wish you could have made the whole devil thing a hint more veiled, rather than spelling it out. But i'm a glutton for punishment! -- The whole tone feels like a Raymond Chandler tale, or i can almost hear Danny Devito reciting it a la the narrator in LA Confidential ---- Really great read, thank you.

do-tweet, do