All Comments on 'Savannah Becomes a Boy Toy Ch. 02'

by savannahoaks

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AlhazredAlhazredabout 16 years ago
Horrendous

I must have missed the first installment of this story. Going back and reading both that and this, unfortunately, my comment can easily cover both chapters. First, you need an editor. Desperately. Spelling, punctuation, grammar - all of it is terrible. If you have to stop to figure out what a sentence is actually trying to say, then it's impossible to get into a story itself. Your characters are unsympathetic - there is nothing that makes the reader like or identify with them at all. It's all just terrible. Do not continue this, please. By the way - the first indication that this story is trash is the title. A boy toy is a male. I have NEVER once seen it used in reference to describe a female. The fact that you don't even know the definitions of the words you use in the TITLE to your story speaks volumes about the level of quality to expect from the story itself.

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