This story is developing very nicely. The strongest eroticism is based on anticipation and you are doing a good job of developing the story slowly. However, you need to use an edior (e.g., at one point in this chapter, you failed to remove the comment "Inserted paragraph break." EVERY writer needs an editor and proofreader; don't hesitate to do that so you can take your writing to the next level.
Jet, you have the beginnings of a beautiful story. It has been such a long time since you were actively submitting chapters, we can't help but be fearful that you may never finish this one. I certainly hope you will. I believe you have a beautiful talent for writing. I encourage you to consider finishing this one, and I'm certain that I am speaking for several others who have come across this story.
by
Anonymous07/23/09
Cute
This site is for the grown-ups. Finish the story or stop pretending. Good luck.
by
Anonymous01/27/11
Sorry, all :(
Events in life lead to the loss of the following 4 chapters of Stranded. I didn't think I had it in me to rewrite them all...
However, I re-created the story a bit differently. Consider Stranded a prototype.
Check out Annika's Islands. Similar theme. More... everything else.
This story has a very good begining. I have read both "chapters" which should only have been one chapter. Nothing pisses me of more than reading a page and haveing to go searching for the next one, this happens way to often on this site. You my friend just happen to be the one I chose to in form. The story line is wounderful with may possibilitys. Grammer and english seem pretty good to me, though I'm not some specialist.
Keep going your doing a pretty damn good job..... :)
English
More!!!!
Very good, more!!!!
nice second chapter
I like the way things have progressed slowly between the characters. Looking forward to Chapter three.
Love It!
Please keep it coming with more!
mmm hmmm!
more, please!
Very good but . . .
This story is developing very nicely. The strongest eroticism is based on anticipation and you are doing a good job of developing the story slowly. However, you need to use an edior (e.g., at one point in this chapter, you failed to remove the comment "Inserted paragraph break." EVERY writer needs an editor and proofreader; don't hesitate to do that so you can take your writing to the next level.
MORE ...........
Please more .........
Don't leave us here.
Jet, you have the beginnings of a beautiful story. It has been such a long time since you were actively submitting chapters, we can't help but be fearful that you may never finish this one. I certainly hope you will. I believe you have a beautiful talent for writing. I encourage you to consider finishing this one, and I'm certain that I am speaking for several others who have come across this story.
Cute
This site is for the grown-ups. Finish the story or stop pretending. Good luck.
Sorry, all :(
Events in life lead to the loss of the following 4 chapters of Stranded. I didn't think I had it in me to rewrite them all...
However, I re-created the story a bit differently. Consider Stranded a prototype.
Check out Annika's Islands. Similar theme. More... everything else.
Thanks for something a little new.
This story has a very good begining. I have read both "chapters" which should only have been one chapter. Nothing pisses me of more than reading a page and haveing to go searching for the next one, this happens way to often on this site. You my friend just happen to be the one I chose to in form. The story line is wounderful with may possibilitys. Grammer and english seem pretty good to me, though I'm not some specialist.
Keep going your doing a pretty damn good job..... :)
Wow...
I just drenched my panties & I didn't even touch myself.
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