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The Ex

byrkm10©
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by Anonymous

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by Anonymous01/31/08

OK a Nice Story but

Where does the car come from? she drives away in the next morning. The previous night she came in a bus and waited in a bus wait shelter intil he came back. I really doubt he gave a car to her.

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by Anonymous01/31/08

He drove the car

I enjoyed the switching perspectives, even though I wasn't sure initially how well it would work. Solid and hot in two different ways. No pun intended?

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by Redlyte01/31/08

be for real

you have a good start but if you plan on him just giving in at the end and take her back then do yourself a favor and stop writing here. Based on what you have wrote it's not hard to see she is in need and if you feel the need to help her fine but not by letting her move back and ruin his life again. A true relationship is not based on money or need of a place to stay which is all she needs. just because you love someone it does not make you a fool that is unable to tell that you are being used. please don't make him a fool.

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by Redlyte01/31/08

be for real

you have a good start but if you plan on him just giving in at the end and take her back then do yourself a favor and stop writing here. Based on what you have wrote it's not hard to see she is in need and if you feel the need to help her fine but not by letting her move back and ruin his life again. A true relationship is not based on money or need of a place to stay which is all she needs. just because you love someone it does not make you a fool that is unable to tell that you are being used. please don't make him a fool.

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by Anonymous01/31/08

W.T.F.

If he hasn't moved on and found someone else in 2 years he deserves her.If things were so great why go with the other jerk in first place.

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by Anonymous01/31/08

Not bad

Interesting story that has hooked me. I'd love to know how it ends up, so I will wait on Chapter 2. But will she double-cross him again with another guy ?

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by Anonymous01/31/08

I'm going to have to go with the 2nd Anon below me

On one hand I thought it wasn't a bad story, it had a few interesting elements. One of which you used a view from both of them to give us insight into what both of them were thinking about how she showed back up in his life.

But on the other hand it was basically a screw the husband/ex-husband over story. Like the Anon below me said, most of us are wondering why the husband didn't move on with his life in all of the two years they were divorced. When I see something like this used as a vehicle in a story to put the ex's back together, it gives me the impression the ex-husband was so hideous that only the ex-wife could ever love him, and that's why he sat on the sidelines of life waiting for the sole person who could ever find him attractive to eventually come back to him, no matter how long it takes. That's not what you wrote, but that's what I think everytime I read this used.

The wife made him miseable, then left him for another man, took half of what he had, became another man's slut, gave that other man what she got in the divorce, gave the other man everything sexually she had that she wouldn't give the now ex-husband so that the other man would stay with her, once the other man used her for all he could get (money and sex) he left her, she now has no money and no place to live so she goes back to the ex-husband who we find out is really eager to have her back, and the story picks up where she is scheming to get back into his life because the other man she chose over him doesn't want her any more, and the ex-husband can't seem to figure out "that's the only reason she's back"?

While I thought it was presented well, I'm personally not a fan of stories were one person or the other gets "grossely" screwed over and just can't wait to put themselves back in the situation where they got screwed over in the first place. And that's all this story seems to be about. Oh that and lots of sex (^_^)

-Risq

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by Anonymous01/31/08

hmmmmm; maybe, maybe not

Gotta go with Redlyte ("be for real") below; please don't give us another "stupid schmuck takes back the cheating ex-wife and is too stupid to realize it" kind of story. As you have written it, this story is all about how she is the one in control, via manipulation. Occasionally, those make for a good story, but that's not usually true. If you had plans to have the lights come on inside his brain, then you're off to a great start. If the story is otherwise going to take the obvious track, spend your time on something fresh and different. IMHO.
-- KK in Texas

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by Anonymous02/01/08

Neither Respects the Other - Nor Should He Trust

Pretty well writen but is he whipped or just waiting to lower the consequential boom?

She deserves less than nothing more given her attitude and prior actions.

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by Anonymous02/01/08

Me--Sorry I got totally lost by the time I read

10 lines and gave up after line 20

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