- All
Comments (3) - Add a
Comment - Send
Feedback Send private anonymous feedback to the author (click here to post a public comment instead).
| Literotica Toy Store ADULT TOY & DVD STORE FAST & DISCREET |
Literotica XXX Webcams 24/7 LIVE CAMS - FREE PREVIEW W/AUDIO! |
Literotica Adult Movies STREAMING ADULT MOVIES PAY PER MINUTE |
English
Excellent.
Your following a really good path for this story, it flows 99% very well, only one thing to watch out for, and I have been told I do it myself, is a slight feeling of rushing through the "everyday" parts, like them fishing, then cooking then eating, was a little rushed, more description would have helped there, even thoughts from the subjects, and people maybe likely to skim read because it goes from capturing the attention, to script condensed together with no real description, back to brilliant description again. (Im not having a go, Im really enjoying this story, just a little heads up, k?) Keep it going, because you are doing really well.
dont stop
loving your story! Please dont stop
Sweetly done!
I love your storyline... I can't wait to see how her family reacts when they finally find out... Hopefully she won't have to totally leave her family for him, maybe just a fight or two... Can't wait for the next instalment... :)
Click here to leave your own comment on this submission! or
Back to Wolf Ch. 04 or
More submissions by candy_2691.