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great concept, but.....
First, buy a dictionary. [loose, arraign, site, handle, and peak; all come to mind.]
Actually, there's a really cute story in there, but there are a few flaws which make it difficult to enjoy. Is the David who divorced Serena the same David that Maria is seeing? (I presume not, but why should I have to stop and make a guess on that point?) And please, Serena has no date in three years (already stretching plausibility) and is so swept off her feet on a first date that she fucks the guy at the drop of a hat??!!! That's not romance, that's just lust.
You have some writing ability; just steer things toward the believable. I wish you well.
-- KK in Texas
Is that it?
I think the story could be really great, but there are a few things that detract, also...the ending is so abrupt. I feel like there should be more.
Where's the ending?
The story just stops. Where's the happy ending, afterall, it is in the romance section.
MMM
Hot stuff from you as always...can't wait to read me more
Tota fucking rubbish Written by a total wanker
Tota fucking rubbish Written by a total wanker
Sorry
The way you wrote this made your hero look like an avowed pussy hound. HE CHEATS and makes stupid wives cheat and lose EVERYTHING. Funny thing is those guys are the easiest to spot and women are beyond dumb/stupid to wet their pussies to accommodate becoming sluts and losing everything, put on the street naked with no money AS THEY DESERVE....LOL!!!
@Sampkyang 04/25/16
re:
The way you wrote this made your hero look like an avowed pussy hound. HE CHEATS and makes stupid wives cheat and lose EVERYTHING. Funny thing is those guys are the easiest to spot and women are beyond dumb/stupid to wet their pussies to accommodate becoming sluts and losing everything, put on the street naked with no money AS THEY DESERVE....
Darwinism at work.
Weeding out the unfit to survive.
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