1st Affair

Can't wait

So damned powerful I can't wait for the sequels.
Only correction is to replace "grinded" with "ground."

Uh...

...don't forget that one does not get "drunker and drunker" but "more and more drunk", as well as the "grinded/ ground" thing. This story is great, but don't forget to hit the spelling and grammar button, though this one is far better than most!

Note from author...

Please keep in mind that I wrote this in January of 2002. It was the 10th or 12th submission of mine out of 128 (and counting) that have been posted. Although I have always had a knack for describing scenes and feelings, my grammar has truly come a long way. (I'm still fond of terms such as "grinded" and "thrusted", even though they are not words in the English language, they are words in the "X-Factor" language and I will still use them from time to time). Remember - it's about turning on the reader, and bringing them into the story - not acheiving an 'A' in English! ;)

Awesome!!!!!!!!!

Work this good are few and far between!!!! Can't wait to read some of your others X-Factor. Keep up the excellent work!!

Great Work

OMG! I loved that! I agree that works this good are few and far between. All the more reason for you to keep on writing :)

Brilliant!

I thank you for this story, it is great to see a story this quality.I love cheating wife storys and I have read alot of them!! And well you blew me away with this one, keep up the sensational writing will be looking for more like this!!
Avatar of the Moon

great stuff

I am quite stiff right now. Great job

Very Hard!

As I said, very Hard!

Excellent writing

But she's not a wife, she's a cheating girlfriend. HUGE difference.

Not bad, but...

You could benefit from the help of an editor. Hearing about her short legs, tiny feet and small hands over and over took away from the story for me. You only need to mention those descriptions once. Repeating them is just beating the reader over the head with them.

You have the makings of an entertaining story here. Using the help of an editor, you could learn about passive voice and POV shifts. Fixing those problems would really improve your writing.

You left a comment mentioning that it's about turning the reader on, not perfect spelling and grammar, but that's all part of it. If you spell a word incorrectly or make up words of your own, it interrupts the flow of the writing, which in turn effects the excitement level of your reader.

You're a good writer. Some editing could make you great. :0)

All the right stuff . . .

If a porn movie could convey these feelings, looks, glances, flirting, attitudes, and effects then I would watch porn movies. This is erotic writing at its best.
Also, ignore the ignoramuses who natter about editing etc.,. Not one of them can do more than jack off while reading your stories. They natter because they cannot write. Keep up the good work.
irchristo@aol.comc

great

you the best!

Nice

These stories do make people stiff. Keep it uP.

Wow, great story! Actually, right now my wife is out fucking another man (with my knowledge as we are in an open relationship) and I love it when she comes home with 1 or more loads of cum in her pussy. Can't wait till she gets home soon so I can unload another into her slut-wife pussy ;)

Great

Great story line, just so sexy as well. Will be looking for the rest of this set..

How silly

9 inch cock. 98% are between 4 and 8 inches. 9" is off the scale and almost certainly painful and would stretch a vagina beyound the yield point. I gave it a 2.

THEY ARE ALL THE SAME

just a matter of time, temperature and surroundings. TK U MLJ LV NV

Written by a niger!

Slow minded and inept. 1 star.

9" is not too big

It is true that 98% of all cocks are smaller than nine inches. But a nin inch will not destroy a woman. My wife can take a ten inch (10) realistic dildo with no problem if we go slow.

definitely one of the best-written!

this is one of the best stories, one of the best writers on Literotica! the story is well-detailed, the plot is carefully unraveled, which engages the reader thoroughly. You can almost 'hear' the moans and the bed creaking...
2 thumbs up!!

Another niggers mind shit.

Won't they ever learn ?? "1" !

Reformed My Ass

She was a slut and will continue to be a slut. I won't read any farther.

Crappy stuff

Ditto. Reformed arse. read no further.

God damn, another illiterate nigger writer !!

Most boring and talentless drivel. "1*" !

' You are there '

The author has a fiendish gift for mind melding in brain of cheater, the naive cheater's boyfriend ( explored in later installments ) and the erstwhile stud in heated moment. The critics here had a field day exscoriating the story in comments and then hastened to next chapter so their pure sensibilities could be further outraged.

Simular case

I talked my last girlfriend into trying three way sex, having a guy party with us some times. It was going well other than the fact I assumed most guys had about the same size dick. As we progressed into this life style she became accustomed to having a mix of guys. A few did become regulars. She also grew fond of them with big cocks. It was clear after a year or so that there was no way she was going to go back to having sex with me alone. I was good with that....she did remind me periodicly that this was my idea which pretty much took care of even asking her to quit setting other guys.