All Comments on 'Neverending Nightmare Ch. 01'

This isn't a bad story but it needs work. I couldn't follow the action overall. She was naked by the side of the road, then she's inside and dressed, then she's being held. There should be some kind of flow. It reads like you just placed a bunch of pieces of the story together and left out all the connecting parts. When it hung together, it showed some good descriptive writing. Net suggestion is to get an editor.

Havn't read the second installment yet but I guess the second scene was how it all started - a flash back. A few stars between them is all that is needed, or just a one liner between them - only yesterday - or something. Caught on to what was happening quickly enough though.