HDK, your writing is excellent and nearly all of your stories are very cleverly put together. Your use of satire and wit, your arrangement of various circumstances, your use of imagery and even your endings have always made me smile. But the humor in this story seemed forced, and while your intent was perhaps meant to poke fun at some of the male humiliation stories in the 'Loving Wives' section, I just can't see any man accepting an apology so easily from a wife who publicly ridiculed him in front of their friends. Walking out of the 'party' was very believable but letting his wife give him a 5 PM blow job for 'make-up sex' really does not, as some say, pass the smell test. Clearly this man was intelligent and sensitive; I really can't see, even if it was part of your satire, such a man forgiving his wife so easily and I really don't think the session in front of the other women makes them 'even.' If anything, I think it is another round of humiliation, regardless of his wife Claire's intent. I could not see the couple making up without serious counseling; obviously Claire has some deep-seated resentment for her husband if she is capable of doing to him what she did at the party. This felt too contrived and strained for me to enjoy it . . .
I liked the story, and I have a few comments.
The man acted a little too childish by what he did. Men are insecure about their cock sizes usually but not that insecure. He could have charged a quarter to each of the women to see the smallest cock she has ever seen in her life. He should have come up with some comeback or another.
I anticipated the final scene but expected the men to be there too. That would have been a bit more messy.
Thanks for writing.
I have to agree with Vulcan in all but the grade. I never
understood why Claire did what she did, and that is fundamental to forgiving her. Then betraying him to her
girl friends certainly does not sound like a healing experience.
Still it was a lot of fun when not examined too much!
It has some humour in it but I agree with one of the comments, there could be more to it considering the strong way she humiliated him in front of their friends. He also seemed surprised at least that she could taken so easily deepthroat him. Could she hae been practising with somebody else with a bigger cock. Hense her remarks when her guard was lowered by alcohol. Maybe another sequel ? G.Belgium
by
Anonymous02/23/08
Why he would even talk to her again is beyond me.
She had never deepthroated him before and did it without any problem. Now folks that takes a lot of practice. Wonder what big dick she was practicing on, maybe his boss? Even after her act, take her back, not a chance in hell. He knows how she really felt about him, she made that obvious at teh party. She just doesnt want her meal ticket to leave so she did the required I'm sorry routine. Nope, not a chance in hell of going back to a woman who has already stabbed you in the back with many thrust. Why wait around for the next round, when she is having hot flashes and drinks to much. If she loves you that much, you need to find a woman who hates you so you can have a better life.
in dealing with the issues of sexual intimacy between husbands and wives! You are a great storyteller.
by
Anonymous02/23/08
Loved It
great short story, great ending,but they neend to talk about the depth of her cruelty towards him at the party. There is more to it than her not liking him looking at big boobs|
by
Anonymous02/23/08
Menopause can be an ugly thing
The only thing worse than a teenager with hormones is a woman with hot flashes and too much to drink. The world hates her and she wants to get even.
Well done. I enjoyed it immensely.
Needed that morning laugh! A funny story about a rough situation. I feel sorry for every man dealing with a menopausal wife. They will test you more than anything, been there, done that, she shredded the T-shirt!
The way you combine humor (throughout the story) with strong emotions is unique, and wonderful. The scene of his humiliation at the party is shocking, and very powerful. And then his conversations with others about the size of his cock are hilarious. Truly an original story!
Perhaps someday we may have the ability to mine your imagination just to learn how you are so able to find new approaches to often-used themes. And once again you've provided us with an adroitly penned story. While I must confess to not sharing the same level of ebullience regarding your effort as others here have expressed, I must commend you for sharing an amusing tale which is both creative and unique. Many thanks.
HDK once again shows why he one of the most respected writers on this site. While realizing this was tongue in cheek, the idea of any man discussing his sex life with his mother-in-law is a leap beyond belief. Most men that I know would be grateful if their MIL moved to a different continent or preferably, a different galaxy. Only 75 on this one.
It seems HDK has become JPB!!! this story is horrid
... mindlessly mean and Nasty and NOT in anyway funny. Jesus what the fuck were you thinking???. Without a doubt you worst story you have ever written.
No woman NONE has ever DEEP THROAT a cock the FIRST time. NOT possible. Only in JPB Twisted Mind.
How EXACTLY exposing his cock to HER friends after her over whelming humilation the 1st time at the Party going to FIX things...??
It says something when Alvaron53 and I agree on something this strongly. Redo this story and fix this shit.
Someone else happened to mentioned that your stories are short, to the point, and excellent.
For me too, this story was really top drawer, and I mean it. But, unlike the other fella, I have to say that I really do wish you had written it in a longer format. Talent like yours seems wasted on something that can be read in a matter of minutes.
HDK, you're prose worked just right for this ol man. I find that the wife was taken to task properly for her outburst, and hopefully learned her lesson well.
I enjoyed the way you brought it full circle, keeping both main characters likable even in the height of each of their ire.
Thank you.
by
Anonymous02/24/08
Great retribution!
You still write great stories, HDK. I really enjoyed this one. I'm not totally sure how well mom's suggestion would actually be accepted by the daughter but it worked here!!
The offense seems more serious then the wife's explanations could explain and the resolution seems (at least in part) to add to the problem – namely lack of basic discretion on the wife’s part, rather than remedy it.
On the other hand, the story is original and surprising, and as long as it lasted (no pun intended), it was interesting. So, it certainly served its purpose of drawing one’s attention. I’d rather have HDK experiment with new forms and occasionally not getting a bull’s-eye than seeing such a talent being stagnant with previous formulas. Thanks for this story and keep being original!
by
Anonymous02/24/08
Brilliant
At first I almost pressed the back button. I'm glad I didn't. A real change from some of the other stories I have read here. I'll have to read more of your stories, as this one was really good.
HDK
even though I have sent you an apology by email I wanted to post it here. I was too harsh at the end of my post. Without going into too much detail I has having... lets just say a Bad Hair day.
That being said this story struck me as Hostile and mean and NOT in any way funny. Alvaron and I dont agree on much... and it does say something when we both have the same opinion The reason is that the beginning of the story didnt start off in a light and /humorous vein.
I dont see how 1 form of public humiliation on Person A is solved by another form of humiliation on the same person
by
Anonymous02/24/08
Original - But Below Par - Excellance
I always watch for you, Author, as your keen mind and the ability to express it in "lifely" and consequential terms plus coy humor are most often appreciated.
When you push the edge as you often do, there is bound to be a clinker or a non-par to your / our expectations - and thats OK - it's part of the edge you walk on - and that we look forward to.
The point of this comment is for you not to take umbrage at most of the comments of a negative nature. It comes with the turf of walking the edge which most of us understand.
So onward and upweird - uh upward HDK as you are very appreciated and looked forward to.
I appreciate that your apology was sincere and accept it gladly. Comments are always welcome, but they have more weight when done in a constructive manner. Your insights are often well supported. Dislike a story when you must, but respect the effort of the writer. Thanks.
by
Anonymous02/25/08
A joke in the extreme
This story reminded me of another favorite of yours, "Tit for Tat'. In that tale however, you provided more insight into the wife's motivations. Tit for Tat told of a case where there was a growing disrespect by the wife that had been evident by the husband for some time.
In this story I expected some undercurrent of displeasure on the wife's part prior to her insulting remarks. Surely, she should have been aware of their impact after the first statement, yet she continues oblivious to how their friends are reacting. To her credit she does stop when she sees the response by her husband.
I thought you handled the resolution masterfully, as usual. She redeemed herself as well as her husband's image, in a way that could only be shown in front of VERY good friends.
The construction and logic of this story is superb!
Salamis
by
Anonymous03/15/08
90% of a wonderful story
You are an excellant writer and this story is a great example of your skill. The fine description of the hubands humiliation and the build up of his frustration in attempting to resolve his marital problems is beautifully done. My only complaint is the resolution of you story. Wife's blow job in front of her friends ,to me, is no solution to their problem at all. On the other hand, you're a great writer and I can't write at all, so I can only wish you well and hope you keep writing.
60 year old George
by
Anonymous03/30/08
Kind'a'sucked
Bad Joke & F* up wife. Sad story.
I would throw her out with the bathwater.
And that guy is a wimp.
Get real.
What's good about this one?
Cheers
Yoron.
by
Anonymous03/30/08
definitely unusual
But very well done.
by
Anonymous04/04/08
Not one of the best... by this author...
which still puts it in the top 1% of all stories on Literotica. I agree with much of the critique which boil down to two wrongs don't make a right. Frankly, I think HDK dug a very deep hole in this one. No, a couple of 24 years doesn't get divorced over a drunken tirade, as some have suggested. However, if the man is of normal size or even slightly below normal there is no way for the wife to ever undo the damage.
What gets me is that folks will knock down the score on this story because it isn't as good as some of HDK's other stories. Face it, it is funny and masterfully written. Wouldn't you rather read one of HDK's than 10 of those by folks who talent is shorter than their imagination, which is shorter than my dick... uh... HDK's dick?... Hmmm I know, shorter than the guy in Curious2C's story about needledick.
by
Anonymous04/05/08
Nope
Not cool. Cheers Yoron.
by
Anonymous05/01/08
Cool story
Heheh, to Harryin VA and Alvaron53, I can see why you obviously didn't like this story. Firstly because you're both fucking useless losers with nothing better to do that to critique the stories that most people out there actually like. For fuck's sake look around you. The second reason you guys didn't like this story is simply because of your extraordinaryly soft-cocks. It's obvious. Everyone can see this! I'm also staying anon because you're (both of you) too fucking boring for me to risk you sending ME feedback for my comments. I might accidentally catch your soft-cock desease... heheheheheh. Later losers.
I liked parts of the story, liked the husbands reactions to hearing his wife belittle him to their friends, developing his anger in the story at what happened, and even when he laid down and closed his eyes in the hotel room and when he opened them, his wife was standing over him look down at him. I actually laughed out loud when I saw that one. All of those reactions seemed real and seemed well thought out and made them feel believable to me.
But what didn't make sense to me was that how the wife got out of the mess she created was by having a public showing of her giving her husband a blow job. That's where the story stopped being real to me. I mean if he was humiliated having his wife publicly berate him before, her having him put on an impromptu porn performance should have really made him mad, but the story suggested that once all the women oohh and ahhh'd over his size he was happy again and life went on. That doesn't make sense to me. Having this be the only way that the husband was willing to rebuild his self confidence made the husband seem extremely shallow to me, like his self respect could be bought for a cookie or something else just as trivial.
Why didn't he feel that maybe his wife got them over there, only to say that they though he was big, so that he would feel better about what she said? Even having one wife suggest that her husband didn't compare to him? First he states that sex won't fix what she's done, yet a public blow job does? Why was that all it took was a blow job to fix the disrespect he thought she had for him and how she really ran him down in front of his "Male" friends? Wouldn't his friends get mad that their wives were over there watching him get a very public blow job? I know I would be if my wife was volunteering to watch other me men get blown. If I had men watch me have sex with my wife, to prove that when I told them she was lousy at sex and wasn't built very well and I needed to get her naked to prove otherwise, she wouldn't speak to me for about a year (if she didn't divorce me first), yet the wife in this story does this to her husband and he feels proud of her actions and for taking her mothers suggestion that she do something equally embarrassing to make up for her very public humiliation?
My life experience is that if someone really feels betrayed like this, putting them on display doesn't fix the problem it just makes it worse. And that is where it stopped being believable to me
Your a very good writer, I'm just sorry I didn't like this story though
-Risq
by
Anonymous05/02/08
Best So Far!
I must have read thousands of stories on literotica but this is by far the best. Just the right mix of love and hate. I think hate is the strongest form of laove and so i read of revenge stories. This is a woman's revenge on herself. I can go on psycho-analyzing this story but suffice to say this is the best.
*snort* I learned a long time ago to ignore the drooling whines of faceless, anonymous losers like this refugee from the fantasy land of Oz. Here's some advice since apparently you wish to critique. Learn how to punctuate so you won't look like an idiot. Learn how to spell so you won't look like a bigger idiot. Learn how to weave ideas into structured paragraphs so you won't look like the biggest idiot. Had you actually paid attention in school instead of pulling your pud, you would have learned these basic tenets already. But, hey, you're not dead yet, so give it a try. You might surprise yourself. You'd certainly surprise me.
A second reading confirms my first impression of this tale. The prose and the writing is good, but the story is dreadful.
by
Anonymous11/25/08
This shot at humor fails to rise to the occassion.
His reactions are overboard, her comments were overboard. Her oblique attempt to pass off why she said what she said is an attempt to say it wasnt my fault. The game with the women watching was totally innane. Down to the last dime, would I go back with her, no not a chance in hell. Her speech and actions spoke of total disrespect and lack of love and feelings for her husband. Write the braindead bitch off! Just maybe menopause is causing her brain cells to self destruct more rapidly!
by
Anonymous01/04/09
Mostly overboard but gotta love the wife's mom
HDK is by far one of my favorite authors on the web... you write short, fun reads... with good husbands... good relationship morals... and great advice from mothers on how to fix / maintain a healthy marriage... ... ... the last line of this story held strong to the tradition of ending on a hearty laugh.
by
Anonymous01/05/09
no more in front of others ?
the belittling happens between them, and she takes him down w/o others around?
by
Anonymous02/16/09
good job
Yes there were holes in the logic, but it was a great read just the same.
Unfortunately, after reading some of the comments I believe your humor is a little too sophisticated for this audience. However, there is one inconsistency. If his wife is trying to prove to her husband and her friends that his cock is not small then why does she deepthroat him for the first time in their marriage? Which brings up another question, either she has been hiding her oral talents for 24 years and withholding them from him or she has someone else teaching her new tricks:) Thank you, another enjoyable read from HDK
by
Anonymous04/04/09
a simple no
alcohol can bring out the truth in how people feel, and that was her reasoning? too far, and have visits with children and away from wifey
by
Anonymous07/31/09
No pleasing some people....
Obviously a lot of readers like to take a story with a funny twist and make it into a manifesto on how a marriage should work. Sheeesh...get a life!!!! The wife screwed up, and she unscrewed it. It was actually a good way to go, and it was funny.....and well people if any of you have never said something you regret, then throw the stone.
by
Anonymous08/14/09
Cute...
It was a cute little story....wait...did that belittle it...hmmm even belittling seems like the wrong term. It was funny with a nice twist.
Everybody judges a story based on their own feelings. What would they do if that happened to them. An opinion is just that, an opinion. In this case, I would be more upset with her solution than the cause of this mess. The husband could have fixed the problem himself by dropping his pants if that was his solution. His wife embarrassed 2 times in 3 days. Damn, I don't want to know what her plans are for his birthday.
by
Anonymous10/24/09
Sometimes I wonder
I wonder if anyone actually reads a profile.....like the bit that says ....its fantasy, and its fiction, and ....f'christs sake just read the thing as a story. Stop , please stop, commenting as if its a true story....muppets, most of them.. I swear.
by
Anonymous01/16/10
Not a good read.
There are some things you can say, or do, that can't be undone. Any man that would take a woman back after she shredded him in front of all of their friends like this, should just kill himself and get it over with. The only way to preserve what was left of his self respect, would be to leave, and never return. If this was an attempt at humor, it failed miserably.
English
Sorry, not one of your better ones . . .
HDK, your writing is excellent and nearly all of your stories are very cleverly put together. Your use of satire and wit, your arrangement of various circumstances, your use of imagery and even your endings have always made me smile. But the humor in this story seemed forced, and while your intent was perhaps meant to poke fun at some of the male humiliation stories in the 'Loving Wives' section, I just can't see any man accepting an apology so easily from a wife who publicly ridiculed him in front of their friends. Walking out of the 'party' was very believable but letting his wife give him a 5 PM blow job for 'make-up sex' really does not, as some say, pass the smell test. Clearly this man was intelligent and sensitive; I really can't see, even if it was part of your satire, such a man forgiving his wife so easily and I really don't think the session in front of the other women makes them 'even.' If anything, I think it is another round of humiliation, regardless of his wife Claire's intent. I could not see the couple making up without serious counseling; obviously Claire has some deep-seated resentment for her husband if she is capable of doing to him what she did at the party. This felt too contrived and strained for me to enjoy it . . .
Liked it
I thought it was clever and fun.
Hilarious
I liked the story, and I have a few comments.
The man acted a little too childish by what he did. Men are insecure about their cock sizes usually but not that insecure. He could have charged a quarter to each of the women to see the smallest cock she has ever seen in her life. He should have come up with some comeback or another.
I anticipated the final scene but expected the men to be there too. That would have been a bit more messy.
Thanks for writing.
Amusing Fantasy
I have to agree with Vulcan in all but the grade. I never
understood why Claire did what she did, and that is fundamental to forgiving her. Then betraying him to her
girl friends certainly does not sound like a healing experience.
Still it was a lot of fun when not examined too much!
Thanks,
Bruce
Not one of your better efforts
Mean-spirited and contrived.
incomplete
It has some humour in it but I agree with one of the comments, there could be more to it considering the strong way she humiliated him in front of their friends. He also seemed surprised at least that she could taken so easily deepthroat him. Could she hae been practising with somebody else with a bigger cock. Hense her remarks when her guard was lowered by alcohol. Maybe another sequel ? G.Belgium
Why he would even talk to her again is beyond me.
She had never deepthroated him before and did it without any problem. Now folks that takes a lot of practice. Wonder what big dick she was practicing on, maybe his boss? Even after her act, take her back, not a chance in hell. He knows how she really felt about him, she made that obvious at teh party. She just doesnt want her meal ticket to leave so she did the required I'm sorry routine. Nope, not a chance in hell of going back to a woman who has already stabbed you in the back with many thrust. Why wait around for the next round, when she is having hot flashes and drinks to much. If she loves you that much, you need to find a woman who hates you so you can have a better life.
Count on HDK to come up with a new approach
in dealing with the issues of sexual intimacy between husbands and wives! You are a great storyteller.
Loved It
great short story, great ending,but they neend to talk about the depth of her cruelty towards him at the party. There is more to it than her not liking him looking at big boobs|
Menopause can be an ugly thing
The only thing worse than a teenager with hormones is a woman with hot flashes and too much to drink. The world hates her and she wants to get even.
Well done. I enjoyed it immensely.
Another good one!
Needed that morning laugh! A funny story about a rough situation. I feel sorry for every man dealing with a menopausal wife. They will test you more than anything, been there, done that, she shredded the T-shirt!
Great!
Wonderful as usual!We do all tend to be insecure at times.Thank you for a good laugh.
it is wonder he is still in town
Even those of average size would not accept a comment like that...
wonderful story
The way you combine humor (throughout the story) with strong emotions is unique, and wonderful. The scene of his humiliation at the party is shocking, and very powerful. And then his conversations with others about the size of his cock are hilarious. Truly an original story!
ohio
Good Stuff, HDK
I've always enjoyed reading one of your stories, HDK, and this is no exception. Keep up the good work, pardner.
LH
Great loved it
Brilliant as always.
A winner
Another good one and most of all unique. Thanks again for your words and time.
A sterling effort
Perhaps someday we may have the ability to mine your imagination just to learn how you are so able to find new approaches to often-used themes. And once again you've provided us with an adroitly penned story. While I must confess to not sharing the same level of ebullience regarding your effort as others here have expressed, I must commend you for sharing an amusing tale which is both creative and unique. Many thanks.
Good writing but way beyond belief!!
HDK once again shows why he one of the most respected writers on this site. While realizing this was tongue in cheek, the idea of any man discussing his sex life with his mother-in-law is a leap beyond belief. Most men that I know would be grateful if their MIL moved to a different continent or preferably, a different galaxy. Only 75 on this one.
WOW does this story suck SHIT
It seems HDK has become JPB!!! this story is horrid
... mindlessly mean and Nasty and NOT in anyway funny. Jesus what the fuck were you thinking???. Without a doubt you worst story you have ever written.
No woman NONE has ever DEEP THROAT a cock the FIRST time. NOT possible. Only in JPB Twisted Mind.
How EXACTLY exposing his cock to HER friends after her over whelming humilation the 1st time at the Party going to FIX things...??
It says something when Alvaron53 and I agree on something this strongly. Redo this story and fix this shit.
Quality v. story length
HDK,
Someone else happened to mentioned that your stories are short, to the point, and excellent.
For me too, this story was really top drawer, and I mean it. But, unlike the other fella, I have to say that I really do wish you had written it in a longer format. Talent like yours seems wasted on something that can be read in a matter of minutes.
Anyway, you are one heckuva story teller!
Matt Moreau
Interesting story, one that I liked a lot.
HDK, you're prose worked just right for this ol man. I find that the wife was taken to task properly for her outburst, and hopefully learned her lesson well.
I enjoyed the way you brought it full circle, keeping both main characters likable even in the height of each of their ire.
Thank you.
Great retribution!
You still write great stories, HDK. I really enjoyed this one. I'm not totally sure how well mom's suggestion would actually be accepted by the daughter but it worked here!!
HEY, HARRY
She practised on cucumbers, small to large, until she got it!!
Part and parcel of writing an original piece
The offense seems more serious then the wife's explanations could explain and the resolution seems (at least in part) to add to the problem – namely lack of basic discretion on the wife’s part, rather than remedy it.
On the other hand, the story is original and surprising, and as long as it lasted (no pun intended), it was interesting. So, it certainly served its purpose of drawing one’s attention. I’d rather have HDK experiment with new forms and occasionally not getting a bull’s-eye than seeing such a talent being stagnant with previous formulas. Thanks for this story and keep being original!
Brilliant
At first I almost pressed the back button. I'm glad I didn't. A real change from some of the other stories I have read here. I'll have to read more of your stories, as this one was really good.
HDK I apologize
HDK
even though I have sent you an apology by email I wanted to post it here. I was too harsh at the end of my post. Without going into too much detail I has having... lets just say a Bad Hair day.
That being said this story struck me as Hostile and mean and NOT in any way funny. Alvaron and I dont agree on much... and it does say something when we both have the same opinion The reason is that the beginning of the story didnt start off in a light and /humorous vein.
I dont see how 1 form of public humiliation on Person A is solved by another form of humiliation on the same person
Original - But Below Par - Excellance
I always watch for you, Author, as your keen mind and the ability to express it in "lifely" and consequential terms plus coy humor are most often appreciated.
When you push the edge as you often do, there is bound to be a clinker or a non-par to your / our expectations - and thats OK - it's part of the edge you walk on - and that we look forward to.
The point of this comment is for you not to take umbrage at most of the comments of a negative nature. It comes with the turf of walking the edge which most of us understand.
So onward and upweird - uh upward HDK as you are very appreciated and looked forward to.
With Very High Regard
Thanks, Harry.
I appreciate that your apology was sincere and accept it gladly. Comments are always welcome, but they have more weight when done in a constructive manner. Your insights are often well supported. Dislike a story when you must, but respect the effort of the writer. Thanks.
A joke in the extreme
This story reminded me of another favorite of yours, "Tit for Tat'. In that tale however, you provided more insight into the wife's motivations. Tit for Tat told of a case where there was a growing disrespect by the wife that had been evident by the husband for some time.
In this story I expected some undercurrent of displeasure on the wife's part prior to her insulting remarks. Surely, she should have been aware of their impact after the first statement, yet she continues oblivious to how their friends are reacting. To her credit she does stop when she sees the response by her husband.
I thought you handled the resolution masterfully, as usual. She redeemed herself as well as her husband's image, in a way that could only be shown in front of VERY good friends.
The construction and logic of this story is superb!
Salamis
90% of a wonderful story
You are an excellant writer and this story is a great example of your skill. The fine description of the hubands humiliation and the build up of his frustration in attempting to resolve his marital problems is beautifully done. My only complaint is the resolution of you story. Wife's blow job in front of her friends ,to me, is no solution to their problem at all. On the other hand, you're a great writer and I can't write at all, so I can only wish you well and hope you keep writing.
60 year old George
Kind'a'sucked
Bad Joke & F* up wife. Sad story.
I would throw her out with the bathwater.
And that guy is a wimp.
Get real.
What's good about this one?
Cheers
Yoron.
definitely unusual
But very well done.
Not one of the best... by this author...
which still puts it in the top 1% of all stories on Literotica. I agree with much of the critique which boil down to two wrongs don't make a right. Frankly, I think HDK dug a very deep hole in this one. No, a couple of 24 years doesn't get divorced over a drunken tirade, as some have suggested. However, if the man is of normal size or even slightly below normal there is no way for the wife to ever undo the damage.
What gets me is that folks will knock down the score on this story because it isn't as good as some of HDK's other stories. Face it, it is funny and masterfully written. Wouldn't you rather read one of HDK's than 10 of those by folks who talent is shorter than their imagination, which is shorter than my dick... uh... HDK's dick?... Hmmm I know, shorter than the guy in Curious2C's story about needledick.
Nope
Not cool. Cheers Yoron.
Cool story
Heheh, to Harryin VA and Alvaron53, I can see why you obviously didn't like this story. Firstly because you're both fucking useless losers with nothing better to do that to critique the stories that most people out there actually like. For fuck's sake look around you. The second reason you guys didn't like this story is simply because of your extraordinaryly soft-cocks. It's obvious. Everyone can see this! I'm also staying anon because you're (both of you) too fucking boring for me to risk you sending ME feedback for my comments. I might accidentally catch your soft-cock desease... heheheheheh. Later losers.
HDK,
I liked parts of the story, liked the husbands reactions to hearing his wife belittle him to their friends, developing his anger in the story at what happened, and even when he laid down and closed his eyes in the hotel room and when he opened them, his wife was standing over him look down at him. I actually laughed out loud when I saw that one. All of those reactions seemed real and seemed well thought out and made them feel believable to me.
But what didn't make sense to me was that how the wife got out of the mess she created was by having a public showing of her giving her husband a blow job. That's where the story stopped being real to me. I mean if he was humiliated having his wife publicly berate him before, her having him put on an impromptu porn performance should have really made him mad, but the story suggested that once all the women oohh and ahhh'd over his size he was happy again and life went on. That doesn't make sense to me. Having this be the only way that the husband was willing to rebuild his self confidence made the husband seem extremely shallow to me, like his self respect could be bought for a cookie or something else just as trivial.
Why didn't he feel that maybe his wife got them over there, only to say that they though he was big, so that he would feel better about what she said? Even having one wife suggest that her husband didn't compare to him? First he states that sex won't fix what she's done, yet a public blow job does? Why was that all it took was a blow job to fix the disrespect he thought she had for him and how she really ran him down in front of his "Male" friends? Wouldn't his friends get mad that their wives were over there watching him get a very public blow job? I know I would be if my wife was volunteering to watch other me men get blown. If I had men watch me have sex with my wife, to prove that when I told them she was lousy at sex and wasn't built very well and I needed to get her naked to prove otherwise, she wouldn't speak to me for about a year (if she didn't divorce me first), yet the wife in this story does this to her husband and he feels proud of her actions and for taking her mothers suggestion that she do something equally embarrassing to make up for her very public humiliation?
My life experience is that if someone really feels betrayed like this, putting them on display doesn't fix the problem it just makes it worse. And that is where it stopped being believable to me
Your a very good writer, I'm just sorry I didn't like this story though
-Risq
Best So Far!
I must have read thousands of stories on literotica but this is by far the best. Just the right mix of love and hate. I think hate is the strongest form of laove and so i read of revenge stories. This is a woman's revenge on herself. I can go on psycho-analyzing this story but suffice to say this is the best.
It is indeed miserable
*snort* I learned a long time ago to ignore the drooling whines of faceless, anonymous losers like this refugee from the fantasy land of Oz. Here's some advice since apparently you wish to critique. Learn how to punctuate so you won't look like an idiot. Learn how to spell so you won't look like a bigger idiot. Learn how to weave ideas into structured paragraphs so you won't look like the biggest idiot. Had you actually paid attention in school instead of pulling your pud, you would have learned these basic tenets already. But, hey, you're not dead yet, so give it a try. You might surprise yourself. You'd certainly surprise me.
A second reading confirms my first impression of this tale. The prose and the writing is good, but the story is dreadful.
This shot at humor fails to rise to the occassion.
His reactions are overboard, her comments were overboard. Her oblique attempt to pass off why she said what she said is an attempt to say it wasnt my fault. The game with the women watching was totally innane. Down to the last dime, would I go back with her, no not a chance in hell. Her speech and actions spoke of total disrespect and lack of love and feelings for her husband. Write the braindead bitch off! Just maybe menopause is causing her brain cells to self destruct more rapidly!
Mostly overboard but gotta love the wife's mom
HDK is by far one of my favorite authors on the web... you write short, fun reads... with good husbands... good relationship morals... and great advice from mothers on how to fix / maintain a healthy marriage... ... ... the last line of this story held strong to the tradition of ending on a hearty laugh.
no more in front of others ?
the belittling happens between them, and she takes him down w/o others around?
good job
Yes there were holes in the logic, but it was a great read just the same.
COMICAL
Unfortunately, after reading some of the comments I believe your humor is a little too sophisticated for this audience. However, there is one inconsistency. If his wife is trying to prove to her husband and her friends that his cock is not small then why does she deepthroat him for the first time in their marriage? Which brings up another question, either she has been hiding her oral talents for 24 years and withholding them from him or she has someone else teaching her new tricks:) Thank you, another enjoyable read from HDK
a simple no
alcohol can bring out the truth in how people feel, and that was her reasoning? too far, and have visits with children and away from wifey
No pleasing some people....
Obviously a lot of readers like to take a story with a funny twist and make it into a manifesto on how a marriage should work. Sheeesh...get a life!!!! The wife screwed up, and she unscrewed it. It was actually a good way to go, and it was funny.....and well people if any of you have never said something you regret, then throw the stone.
Cute...
It was a cute little story....wait...did that belittle it...hmmm even belittling seems like the wrong term. It was funny with a nice twist.
everyone has an opinion
Everybody judges a story based on their own feelings. What would they do if that happened to them. An opinion is just that, an opinion. In this case, I would be more upset with her solution than the cause of this mess. The husband could have fixed the problem himself by dropping his pants if that was his solution. His wife embarrassed 2 times in 3 days. Damn, I don't want to know what her plans are for his birthday.
Sometimes I wonder
I wonder if anyone actually reads a profile.....like the bit that says ....its fantasy, and its fiction, and ....f'christs sake just read the thing as a story. Stop , please stop, commenting as if its a true story....muppets, most of them.. I swear.
Not a good read.
There are some things you can say, or do, that can't be undone. Any man that would take a woman back after she shredded him in front of all of their friends like this, should just kill himself and get it over with. The only way to preserve what was left of his self respect, would be to leave, and never return. If this was an attempt at humor, it failed miserably.
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