That was certainly worth more than a few repetitive reads. Beautiful!!
The writing was good, I liked the dialogue. The idea of wanting to be hurt and letting yourself get completely out of control is intriguing and erotic. I'm just not into group sex so couldn't really get into it.
You painted some beautiful pictures and captured the emotions very well. I loved "a pear on my plate". But it hurt to read "she was pray to my (something, something) lust". Please its "prey". Its painful to be yanked from a good story by a simple mistake like that. The throw on of having some people show up and do something, unexplained, and leave was unnecessary and confusing. You have some great images and scenes in your head. Keep up the writing.
the way you write is beautifull, i was lost in the depths of the story. not letting her breathe and having your friends violate her was a bit past my personal preferences but still a fantastic read.
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