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English
you write
in stanza how I feel about pretty much everything. Unfortunately (or sometimes fortunately) we have understand that our ways are not the popularly taught and acccepted ways.
Christ, I get so sick of all the How Tos that say a writer has to have a 'story' or a 'direction' or whatever. Screw the compass, let's just hang out on the beach or the boat, or lean against a tree. Starfish, love the starfish and the whole nautical flavor.
OK
last stanza, wow! Third stanza: absently, wading, sleepily I not a real big fan of don't use these things school, because they are weaker than nouns. But here they seem to fit, it is rather drifting mode. I would rethink "absently" not a good fit with remind.
~
I can see the poet who brought her garden to life for us with the froggy poems. You evoke superb and original imagery when you talk of sunrises splitting the sky and sea. I wish I were sitting on the beach beside you.
Your poetry is beautiful
such a joy to read you sis. A few little nitpicks: in the 2nd strophe (which is lovely) it's "toward" not "towards," which is a common mistake many writers make. I agree with 1201 that third strophe: "Will absently remind" isn't working. I'm not really sure what it means. Maybe something like: "No ancient mariners' maps/can tell the tale/
of sunken souls who wade/sleepy to immeasurable depths:/
the still and briny solitude." Just a thought. That last strophe is gorgeous. Love the image of dawn splitting the sky and the sea. Thanks for the read love. xo, S. Oh, PS--great title! :-D
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Not stridently didactic but pleasurably exuding self-assurance and passing that feeling on to the reader; makes reading this a joy for the reader. It's like saying, "I know where I'm going and where I've been; just look at all that's possible before me!"
opening line ....
certainly brought a smile. all is good here. again, another great title.... don
Fast forward to summer
I love getting- lost- and- being- inspired- on- the- beach- poems. Add some metaphysical musings and I am all right! thanks.
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