All Comments on 'Downtown'

I read this thinking of every downtown I've ever been. It's so texturized that it gives life to the words. Really very good, I get into poems like this that take a reader places. Enjoyed, thanks.

this has some interesting things happening, the Poe heart, the personal aquarium, six feet above death, but they come off as loose threads, weave 'em in tighter.

Excellent. Had to 'mute' the TV while reading this; it demands attention. There's so much happening here and much to think about after reading through to the end.

This poem was mentioned in Sunday's New Poems Reviews.

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Good as this poem is (and it is), it gives me the impression of someone writing well within their self and is merely relying on style. I would be more impressed if you tried and failed. I get the feeling you could turn poems out like this by the dozen. It is a crowd pleaser. Now how about writing about something you feel rather or believe in?

.....you rescued me from drowning in a slough of frightful poetry. Thank you!

Tess

S1: Good set-up. I like how "striped" and "printed" combine in the following line to "spit" and "plough" and "burrow" are very vivid. The head on the baseball bat image in S2 is both funny and a little grotesque, but very strong at evoking the round and round the block driving you're describing. S3 gets a little confusing for me, but I am guessing it describes meeting a friend who revives you through talk (?). "The world is slanted and slattern" should, I think, either be "The world is slanted, a slattern" or "The world is slanted and slatternly". I like the former better. Nice reference to "The Tell-Tale Heart." S4 seems straightforward, and the "personal aquarium" is an excellent metaphor. I've worked in one before. ;-) Last S is an excellent close, I think, "high" having multiple meanings in context. All in all, an excellent poem.