All Comments on 'Do You Bonk, Shag or Screw?'

For some reason I think in a british accent now whenever I read stories no matter what so using such totally british words seem kinda normal. And for masturbation I have used wank before, but I tend to say rub one off more often than not.

Well written and a subject of interest to all of us in the trade. Possibly the subject for a Doctoral dissertation?

I don't think any author needs to apologise or explain when using colloquiallisms from his/her own country. After all, any American will immediately recognise an author as British on seeing words like centre, tyre and so on spelt correctly (!), just as we would recognise American 'English'. It's very easy to look up the meaning of something you don't understand.

It's far more irritating to the reader to see the language 'dumbed down' by the ignorance of those who refer to, for example, a 'panty' (always conjures up a picture of a one-legged woman in my mind) or write "you better" instead of "you'd better".

Personally, I enjoy stories that use regional terms. It helps set the background of the protagonist and adds flavor to the story.

In answer to your question, for wanking, most of us Yanks use either jack off (Midwest) or jerk off (East Coast). Or check with George Carlin for some really colorful phrases!

The Wanderer has a Brit/US slang cross reference on his page.

They translates universally.

You've got a good point, but you spoil it. Bonk, shag and screw are jokey terms, a guy doesn't say, 'I want to bonk you'. Again, there is a great difference between ass and arse. 'Look at that ass' doesn't translate into 'Look at that arse'. Also, 'knickers' is a giggly word - sexy to the Brits - whilst 'panties' has no sniggering connotation in the US and is what I always see in UK lingerie stores when I am there. No UK shop sells'knickers' but all US shops sell 'panties'.

The point you ignore is the difference between guyspeak and what females find sexy. I had a quick flick through your stories and it is a fault when you you write womens' POV. You still use male vocabulary.

Unless you're specifically trying to set it somewhere else, like Berlin or Scotland or California, all you can do is write naturally. Don't try and internationalize, though if it makes no other difference a neutral term like 'balls' may be better. I am constantly reading words here on Literotica that we never use and that I may have only a rough idea of the meaning of - mall, yardwork, pool boy, sophomore, etc. etc. - but I just accept them because they go with the local atmosphere, like 'gotten' and 'sis' and pancakes for breakfast. If you read enough you get used to these. So should every reader. They still never sound right, but they don't hinder understanding. I still don't know exactly what yardwork is, but it never figures in the plot anyway: the guy who's supposed to be doing it spends his time ogling then screwing the mature lady of the house. _That_ language is universal.

Some very interesting points raised. I normally hate it when I read 'americanisms' like sophomore etc as I haven't a 4 x 2 (clue) about what they mean. Fortunately though, sex is sex, so no matter how something is put, you can usually tell what is meant. Regarding your Scot's language stories - please no more. I found them painful to read, and I am Scottish ! Which is unusual, as I make a point of reading all your stories. Keep on writing, I'll keep on reading, as when I see your name attached to a story, I know I will enjoy it.

...outnumber all the other "English" speaking countries in the world by a wide margin. Get used to it. English is now OUR language and you'd be well advised to learn how to speak it our way. LOL

is the translation of "look at that ass" for the benefit of elfin.

As far as I'm aware, you're on this website to write, not to please Americans. Write in your own 'voice', rather than in the way you think you should write. People can learn new words and expand their minds. Treat your readers as intelligent people who can figure out your meaning.

I haven't come across any words (American, British or otherwise) that I haven't understood.

Just enjoy writing, and put your best efforts in. That's all anyone should expect.

This was more humorous than informative as most was already understood by most here and not there - eh.<P>

If your stories are nearly as entertaining then read I must.<P>

More informative humor would also be good or better - maybe.

If you want american slang for pretty much anything from hip hop lyrics to the most depraved sex acts (occassionally not that differant) UrbanDictionary.com has pretty much everything. Please note that most of it is written by teenage boys who have never done what they are talking about but it is all on there.

You chose a great subject to write about.

Which term do you thing is worse, the British "bathing costume", or the American "bathing suit"?

I don't like either term.

Have you given any thought to a second essay on this subject?

I found this very interesting as I find some British terms, odd. I can't get over knickers, as i think of it as some 'granny panty' thing. It is just too odd out here. I am a California native and things are said so differently out here, but I liked your whole basis for this.

but where did the anonymous turkey from the US get to think 300 million English speaking north Americans (Canada included) are a majority of the 900 million people who speak English as a first language?<BR>

And... the total population of all countries where English is the official language is almost 2.25 billion people.<BR>

Just live with the fact that English is a great diverse language, and is <I>owned</I> by no one country - not even the USA!!

Snapping Pussy and Geordie Bastard! Tis a truly excellent reference work.

…but thank you for being so considerate. I believe that anyone with average intelligence can pick from the context the true meaning of the occasional unfamiliar word. If you see those militant reactions to your very humorous essay, it has to do with mindless NeoCons types, pumping on their chests, eager to create some more enemies, rather than anything else. Thanks for your entertaining essay. Now I have to find your stories!

The problem with British to American "translation" of erotica is the erotic relies heavily on connotation, which can be very different, even if the meaning is understood.

Take "knickers" for example. I think most Americans probably know what a British person means when they talk about Knickers. But to us, it's a very silly sounding word, not very sexy at all. It's short for Knickerbockers, a VERY silly word. We have a basketball team that is the New York Knicks (short for Knickerbockers), which I suppose is a sexy team if you cheer for them.

Shag is also a term that the meaning is clear, but the connotation won't translate well. It seems like a cute euphomism for sex here in the States.

The US has many, many terms for whacking off. Not so many for the female equivalent mind you.

And yes, "fanny" is another term that both sounds silly to us, AND could cause confusion.

Challenging?... not too much actually. I'd agree that each word has a different connotation, that is if read out loud in isolation from a given text. But if you read a story, you should be able to get the gist of it -knickers or no knickers! If the context is erotic and you know it's an English story, you should be able to overcome this not so huge cultural barrier of the connotation and get into the mood anyways...

I always get fascinated by slang and language differences on a regional level so the essay was fun for me to read. I'll say this though, to me knickers are a mens pant that ends just below the knee and is worn with a knee sock of sorts. This is most frequently worn by golfers in pre Arnold Palmer times as well as American school boys prior to 1950. So while the term panties may give you the twitch, knickers nearly always makes me think 'wtf' until I catch on that it's a British writer.

As others have said you write best what you know. So other than being aware that your American charictars should either use some US slang or have been in Britain long enough to pick up British slang.

I did see one story written by someone using non US slang but set in NYC and using the term 'tube' for the subways. That really set my teeth on edge.

This article described the very thing which goes through my own mind whenever I write a story. Then I think - "What the hell does it matter?" If my female character was wearing or taking off her knickers, then that was what she was doing! My girl-friends (and my wife) have all worn knickers, not "panties" (when they had any on, that is.) And I wish I had as many pounds in my pocket as the number of times of one my ex-girlfriends has whispered to me that she was "knickerless". After all, English was invented in England, and I for one will continue to write in English English.

I don't think your readers are going to be put off by a little local lingo. It's likely to come off stiff and contrived if you spend too much time internationalizing it and there's nothing hot about that. Please, don't dumb it down for the sake of us Americans; we're spoon fed too much as it is! I think it's important that English speakers become familiar with how our language is used by other groups, whether they're native speakers from another culture or have learned English as a second language.

If I come across a wanker, fanny, or knicker in a fic it doesn't even give me pause, I'm so used to it. Of course, I've read quite a bit of amateur British writing on the internet. I actually prefer 'knickers' over panties, undies, or anything else, so I'm trying to bring the word over. :-) Nonetheless, I would have to agree that "shag" and "bonk" are less than sexy to an American--it brings to mind a grungy shag carpet and bopping mechanical pop-up mice with a mallet in that annoying arcade game. However, it's not going to ruin a fic for me. I'd love to hear if Brits have any analogous experiences with American vocabulary--anything we think is sexy that cracks you up or really throws you for a loop?

Thank you for your essay pussyrider, I enjoy your stories as they are written in vernacular UK English, that I can understand without having to make a conversion in my head. It adds an extra frisson of enjoyment when you use common UK useage, such as in the knickers debate. I can't get my head around what a sophomore is - although every US reader will immediately clock it. (Bet you don't know that one US readers!! :-) ) I love your stories of mature sex as you write in a way that I can relate to - (I'm shall we say mature) and as I tell my son, his generation did not invent sex!!

i'm asian and english is my second language and i don't have a problem getting what's being said...only complaint i've ever had is that some writers here have atrocious grammar i mean really...otherwise, british english or american english, it's not hard to follow...when someone writes in slang that's a bit hard to follow for me then but i find it funny for the most part...i find it interesting that brits/irish/scots/aussies/canadians have slightly different ways of speaking her majesty's english lol

Sometimes there might be a term I don't get right away, but the message is clear. I say, if you're writing about British people, write the way they would speak! If you're readers have a problem with it they can get over themselves. Personally, I think American's spell funny (I don't care who you are, it's spelled 'colour') and while us neighbours to the North share the same slang, we're not completely out of the loop when it comes to the Brits. I would def. know what you're saying when you use spunk in the context you would use it in. I might nowadays think of tights as thin leggings, but knickers, well, that makes sense.

Wanker def. makes sense, but tosser is one I'm not as familiar with. In Canada (and the States) a common term is 'jacking off'. Writing that down it actually sounds pretty funny. We don't use trousers very often (if at all anymore), but I know exactly what you mean.

This was an interesting essay as it actually help clear up a couple of things for me. ^_^

G'day!

I love travelling the US and do so on all my long-haul holidays. (See? I can say that you a Briton and you know I mean what Americans call a vacation!) It's great. I always have a ball.

It also means that I sometimes get a bit brave in my writing and try to go native, as it were, in where I set things. My story, "Book, Cover", featured an Australian tourist being picked up by a retiree at a park that I know fairly well in SE Portland. I was taken to task in some feedback about a couple of things, demonstrating our mutual miscomprehension (mine and my feedback provider's).

First, I used the word "lounge" instead of "living room". Fair call. If I'd been thinking more - or even got an outside editor (hmm... there's a thought) that would probably have been picked up.

Second, I had the two drinking chardonnay instead of something more appropriate to the meal. Silly Rabbit. Trix are for kids. In fact, Australians with little understanding of appropriate wine pairings will typically default to the chardonnay style. Grabbing a "chardie" at the "barbie" (where, if it goes long into the night, you may eventually need a "cardie") is a classically Australian thing to do. Even when we're on holidays. Or vacation.

I did have someone try to tell me that something like 93% of English-speakers use the word "ass" when Briton and Aussies use "arse". To him I say, I write for me and share with you. If you don't like it, put down the cup and ask for a glass of water.