Taken By Two Boys

Excellent

Loved that it was from the bully's perspective, but we got to experience it vicariously through the wimps/victims. VERY well done.

Keep it Going

Can't wait for part two.

hot

Loved it one of the best stories i have read in a long time.Eagerly awaiting the rest

A couple tips....

I loved the story! But I can only rate this a 50. Here is why:

1. The reader could easily point out when you simply got tied of writing. At that point the typos started to show up in force, and you seemed to have cut corners. When you stated that Jeff had long since ripped off her panties and enter her, then you continued with the story, although you kept it very breif. At this point you basicly stopped telling the story, and that leaves most readers feeling a little bit cheated. It makes a great story just so-so, and a good story suck.

2. Where you ended the story did not seem natural. The guy is the middle of fucking her. Never end a story there. Always finish the current story, then save the next part for another day; like maybe they cum in her, then blackmail her into regular sex for protection of her son. Then come back and fuck her each week until finally she finds a way to stop them, or Billy finally grows some balls. Another thing you could do is save her anal cherry until the next fuck session, etc.

3. You seemed to repeat yourself multiple times in this story, expecially when she was blowing Jeff. This can be done sometimes, but if you drag it out to much, it becomes borring. I very close hitting the back button. The only thing that kept me was that I was thinking "damn, if he spent this much time on a blowjob, the fuck scene must be great!"

Now before I close, you will read some feedback bashing me for my critisizm, and saying "don't listen to the haters dude!" This is my opinion, and I did not hate your story. I loved your story, just not the way you told it.

Practice makes perfect, so keep writing.

when comes the next!?

Great story! Some moms don't realize how much they can turn on teenage boys by the way they dress. I can only assume in the next part more bullies/buddies are added. Filming her while she's airtight! Naturally the boys have some gang friends. Just don't make it like she enjoys it so much. She's recultantly doing this to save her son. She's so naive and trusting. She needs to be brought down and made aware of the real world.

more please

cant wait for the next chapter

great story

A great start, must do a follow up.

Great story

Can't wait for part 2

More

Cant wait for chapter 2

nice

Cant wait for chapter 2

fantastic

i love the idea of bullies fucking their victums mothers. i have found only 2 other stories like this. wishthere was more/

OMG! hot!

WOW hurry and write teh next chapter!!!!!!!!!!!

good

hope you update soon its a good story

Update soon please

Loved it hop to see more

More

Can't wait for part 2

Update soon please

hope you update soon

I hope you continue

I can only hope you do another chapter.

You ahve got to do teh next chapter!

OMG that was so hot. How many pictures of me naked do I have to send you for you to hurry with Chapter 2?

OMG MORE

You have too udate its so good

this was great

Man you have got to write more

Update soon please

hope you update soon

Great story

Where's part 2

Great story

Looking forward to part 2

Great story

hurry with chapter 2

Great story

Can't wait for part 2

Really good

keep up the good work cant wait for part 2

loved it

keep up the good work

loved it

keep up the good work

Great story

hope to see more

Great story

hope to see more

loved it

what happens next

Not that bad

Seemed to end to soon all that bulid up and the sex was cut short but it was ok

Helloooo!!!!!!!!!!!

hellooooooo is onustwo there v have a story to complete.A great start.Please post the next chapter.

Nice

not to bad but why end it like that? needs a part 2

Good read!

This was a good story, where is the next chapter? Keep it going.

This is a good plot and as far as fantasy goes, many women enjoy the thought of surrendering and enjoying the forced actions of being dominated.

great

stories of bullies fucking moms are fantastic

not bad

Ever gonna give us part 2

It was okay

I am interested in seeing part 2 but it looks like you have quit too bad

More

update soon

ok

what happens next

Panties

Good for an only effort. Son and husband should have had to undress her & join in. Keep going though, you'll improve.

OMG!!!!

i LOVED IT!!!! such a great fantasy....mmmmmm maybe even cuckold me? patmabuttocks@hotmail.com

Ok

Dont stop go on

WOW THAT WAS GREAT

THAT WAS SO GREAT I WOULD LIKE TO READ THE REAT OF IT WHEN IS PART TWO COMING OUT

Thanks for the feedback. Glad you enjoyed the story, chapter 2 is on the way.

Well written

well written; very sexy build up and a nice twist on a popular theme. Liked it and looking forward to pt11

THIS has to be the best story i have read here

A Great Story!

I am looking forward to the next chapter in this wonderfully demented story. Don't keep us waiting. Write it now.

What happens next?

I agree; please continue.

Where's The Author?

Anybody know what happened to onustwo? Is he still alive? This story was posted three years ago, and we haven't seen him since. He said that he was going to post a sequel. But still no sequel. I have even contacted him by e-mail. But still no reply. What happened? I'd really like to see this story continue to completion. If the author reads this message, please finish the story!