You have a fresh take on the genre, and I really like your dialogue and the way you developed Gerry's character. I can see that you designed this so that you can add more chapters, and I think it would be interesting if you developed the other characters some more in the future so that we can see what makes them tick.
Very entertaining. Keep up the good work.
by
Anonymous03/10/08
well written
a great start to a longer story i hope
by
Anonymous06/09/08
Someone needs to die
Gerry needs to grow some balls and kill that fucker. One less thug to worry about. Also he needs to deal with is wife and daughter one way or another.
He should bet that his slut wife is in birth control.if she gets knocked up and can't fuck he may have to take it up the ass to fill in for her. What a fucking wimp looser, if he had any balls at all he would slit all of their throats while they were fucking,before they blew their loads.
I am enjoying the story, please keep going, so many ways to take this including Tommy starting to share Megan with other men/selling her services to pay off the debt over time. Megan starts to do groups and even women and Jenny enjoys others as she wishes. Megan could also become a waitress at the bar and serve strangers in the back room to earn more money, even putting on shows for the men there to watch and/or join. So many ways to take this, enjoy what you have started ..... a really hot and nasty story.
English
Outstanding!
I loved the story.
You have a fresh take on the genre, and I really like your dialogue and the way you developed Gerry's character. I can see that you designed this so that you can add more chapters, and I think it would be interesting if you developed the other characters some more in the future so that we can see what makes them tick.
Very entertaining. Keep up the good work.
well written
a great start to a longer story i hope
Someone needs to die
Gerry needs to grow some balls and kill that fucker. One less thug to worry about. Also he needs to deal with is wife and daughter one way or another.
Maybe he can start sucking Tommy's cock
He should bet that his slut wife is in birth control.if she gets knocked up and can't fuck he may have to take it up the ass to fill in for her. What a fucking wimp looser, if he had any balls at all he would slit all of their throats while they were fucking,before they blew their loads.
came so hard
oh please more. this is the hottest story ever
Don't stop now
I am enjoying the story, please keep going, so many ways to take this including Tommy starting to share Megan with other men/selling her services to pay off the debt over time. Megan starts to do groups and even women and Jenny enjoys others as she wishes. Megan could also become a waitress at the bar and serve strangers in the back room to earn more money, even putting on shows for the men there to watch and/or join. So many ways to take this, enjoy what you have started ..... a really hot and nasty story.
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