All Comments on 'Parents and Siblings Ch. 01'

by Lust4Sex2008

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  • 8 Comments
AnonymousAnonymousabout 16 years ago
GREAT START !!!

Looking forward to chapter two a.s.a.p. Great incest action and I hope the horny son gets to fuck his mother and has some gay sex with his father too while the ladies watch. In this kind of happily perverted family fuckfest anything goes - or should do.

nightshadownightshadowabout 16 years ago
A lot to take in...

You've packed a lot into the first "chapter" but, at the same time, managed to miss out on describing the physical attributes of everyone involved. That's just as necessary as anything else in the story- it helps the reader to imagine the characters better. Also, there's a lot of typographical and grammatical errors throughout. I'd recommend that you get an editor or, if you decide to edit your work alone, read it at least 3 times through to make sure you catch everything.

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This has the potential to be something really fun and exciting, but you're going to have to work hard at maintaining your audience. The start you gave us was a full-on introduction to sex, which isn't always a bad thing, but some backstory helps a great deal, too.

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Just keep going and pay close attention to details. Let us know more about who the characters are, not just what they say and do. Do your best to make them as real as possible, neverminding that this is, after all, fiction.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 16 years ago
keep it going

definetly keep this new post going forward with more chapters..and as others have suggested..definetly tell us about your characters physical descriptions...and make your story super sex charged with some hot bi action between family members...especially john and his jock/stud son brett while mom and the girls watch and participate..nothing hotter for alot of women..like myself...especially moms..to hear about their muscle husbands and jock sons getting into hot bi action..with moms as part of it...

AnonymousAnonymousabout 16 years ago
Great start

Great ideas, and I love the emotional connections between the characters. I agree that it needs fine-tuning, be sure to carefully proofread. I was confused in the beginning when you referred to Cindy as Julie, and other minor things. I really hope you continue the story!

blueyedbobblueyedbobover 12 years ago
oh god!, this is a lovely tale!!

but way too short!! more like this, please!! really was getting into it and it ended!! and i see no chapter 2!! disappointing!!

AnonymousAnonymousabout 8 years ago
great story, and the subtitle

"Family sex in the modern world," is so true. Look, the members of a family love each other to pieces, and more and more of them are carrying that to its logical conclusion. They're making real good use of what all the others have between their legs, and why the fuck not? A father's fat veiny daddy-dick up his baby girl's cute little coochie. A big brother's big powerful prick up his kid sister's tight little twat. And best of all, a boy's hard young penis up the same warm wet vagina he came out of. Face it, family cock belongs up family cunt, and the semen from family balls belongs up welcoming family twats. Nowadays, though they don't blab about it, family fuckers are all around us. You probably know a few yourself.

x_pac6969x_pac6969almost 7 years ago
What happened to chapter 2?

hot story but i cant find chapter 2

PereNoellPereNoell6 months ago

I would have loved growing up like this

Anonymous
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