You have some very specific fetishes and charactors outlined at the beginning of your story. I think you are off to a good start. I would try a different approach though. Instead of simply listing charactors and who they remind you of and then what they like or will happen to them why not incorporate this into the story with a plot that includes all this information. I think it would be fun and quite an accomplishment if you described a woman's appearance and personality and actually had a reader comment that she reminded him of Angelina Jolie or someone else. You can come up with a shopping list anytime you want but if you can intertwine it into a plot now that's really writing.
to the assholes who read your story and then trashed it! It's obvious you have written something you feel very strongly about and comes directly from your innermost thoughts, dreams and fantasies. That is absolutely within the limits of erotic stories. You display a soul and something so deep its as if you are finally allowing it to surface. Good for you!! Keep writing and take it where ever you want. I support your right to do so and encourage you to continue.
Kisssherfeet:Judging from the comments posted in response to your story, it's pretty clear to me what it's all about. Consequently, I have not nor intend to read it. Cuckoldry and the like are truly not my thing.Be that as it may, it's what seems to float your boat. So enjoy it. It's your fantasy, and the little "pud pounders" just might as well accept it. To "married with balls," I must commend you on what must have been a great effort in extricating your head from your ass, what with it obviously being buried so deeply in there. And to the other fellow who addressed 'Bazzz,' I applaud you that you so proudly wear your ignorance. What else would make you so oblivious to the ridicule and scorn you inspire from others. And to the originator of the last post, perhaps you remarks would carry more weight if you knew how to spell "fantasy."To the three of you, and some others, your pathetic postings say much more about you than this story ever could about its writer.
Methinks I'll respond in the same manner that some other commenters have. Don't listen to those who like the story as they are a bunch of nutless, sick fucks who, having no lives of their own, are forced to develop some perverted debauchery of a fantasy in order to validate their otherwise shallow and meaningless lives. If that came across as a tad harsh, good, because I sure as hell intended it. I agree with your preface...that it is sick in real life, and I'd remark that sick in fantasy is no improvement. Think...are we to praise the sick fuck who suggests we kill six million Jews while condemning Hitler for actually having done it? We condemn both, as they have no place or standing in decent society....that applies to your submission as well. I hear the whiners (but if you don't LIKE that kind of story, then why do you READ it, blah whine blah) and I'd say I didn't read the story, I merely skimmed to confirm what you said in the preface. A few more thoughts...submit this "story" in the fetish section to avoid people like me airing their thoughts should my thoughts offend you as much as your story offended me. Better yet, stop writing such drivel...how about something hopeful, decent and righteous for a change? At heart you wrote a story about humilliation and degradation. Seriously, what sick bastard can get off on such a thing? It's not a story, it's filth...it's not erotica, it's bad taste.
interesting story so far are you going to finish it
All you have is a meager beginning at best. I can't tell if it is going to be good or not. Based on the short introduction it may have possibilities. I generally enjoy these stories so I hope you finish it.
"society of sophisticated, upper class..." whores? Tried to read with an open mind but I fail to see what a poor excuse for a man and a slut for a woman have in common with sophistication or class of any sort. If I read this correctly, one guy gets to fuck whoever he wants, one guy gets to fuck no one at all, and some bitch becomes personal property and is used for little more than a cum dump and breeding stock. Somehow in all that I missed anything erotic. Massive fail.
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