All Comments on 'Sister and I Have Fun in the Pool'

Even a sequel to this story would be great.

Keep at it.

the playing around in the pool, the not so accidental touch, the way the water between them was describe, beautiful. but then you ruined it with the constant mentioning of the super cock. the story was good and realistic, until your pants came off.

the playing around in the pool, the not so accidental touch, the way the water between them was describe, beautiful. but then you ruined it with the constant mentioning of the super cock. the story was good and realistic, until your pants came off.

I did like the action in the pool, it seemed quite realistic. But in many cases, you may have been better to substitute 'hard cock' in place of "massive cock", the first mention was enough. Also bringing the 'size' (length) down a little and only mentioning it once would have sufficed. Don't get me wrong, big cocks are nice, but people with them don't usually flaunt or constantly emphasise the size. You may also want to limit the use of the word "and" in a sentence.

Otherwise, I read the whole story and it wasn't too bad.

Thanks for the read.

Thanks everyone for your constructive comments. I shall take them on board for the next time I write. This was my first story, so I'm just getting used to it.

I enjoy writing about the theme of innocence and desire as central to the plot. Hopefully I will have time to write some more stories, perhaps with more background and depth.

i tore my sisters hymen she was a tight fuck i came in her all the time

It was a great read. You had this bonding between the story and reader's.With it the start of great sex that could of had its own chapter. Then you lost it. Good job in writing skills over all! W.S.

That was hot, I hope you write more.

ACTUALLY , it was a very truthful story or i'll say it could have been. it kept me interested more and more and more. i chose a story out of all the ones you might have in your archives. to read that. written very well. in fact , by reading it we became more intense and sensual and then we went to , well , you know. be back in a bit. thank you , write more when you can,... one thing that pops in my head lately is to write such a script and make it seem real. it can be done , but i dont want to sound morbid.i just hope that this was okay to send in.once a movie starts u can careless and u already forgot the name. right ??? thanks , keep 'em cuming. see ya's all

Stop using the Thesaurus in your word processor. It is giving you bad advice.

the boy's reference to his big fat cock is not gratuitous, it shows why his sister is so quick to open up her cute little cunt to her big brother. Like any sister, she's really impressed by what her brother's got swinging between his legs, and her little twat leaks like crazy. Brother and sister both know that the boy's meaty prick belongs up between his sister's legs, that her sweet twat is there for him to blow his brotherly balls into. And he'll do it over and over again, till he fucks a baby up his own sister's cunt.

Continue it please. So hard reading it.

The story was great until you got to the sex and it became obvious you have no idea what you are talking about. She lowered herself on you in missionary position? Do you know what missionary position is? You could feel her pussy lips slapping you? Are they that loose and sloppy at her age and was she bending THAT much at the hip for a blow job? Was her neck in a brace so she can't move it at all. Also if her legs are spread straddling you and she is leaning that far forward from her hips, why can't you see her pussy from behind? You do know the opening is right under her asshole right? Try having sex with a real girl and try again.

gave you a 5

What you described was not missionary O.o Story was fine but once I got to the sex it was all down hill. A lot of it didn't make any real sense. Like you weren't actually sure how sex worked and just winged it with what ever you thought sounded good.

I never have sex with my sibling I almost had sex with my cousin one.what a missionary style position is when a girl or boy lay on top of you,1st you made her suck you then she shaddle you

Good writing. Well done.

Hope you add another chapter

Just hard to read.