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English
my mouth is watering
can't wait until the next installment
omgggggggg...
Love it!
I love your work. I simply hate waiting so long to read it.
loved it!!!!
the story is on fire i love it .i can't wait till the next chapter is posted i hope really really soon.i really do hate the wait for such a hottt story
Love it!
Love it! This was a great chapter! Please more! Cant wait for the next one! Thanks!
Hot!
I love a man completely losing control for a woman- so very hot!
i waited forever for this..
wat took u so long ... ? *pout* but it's well worth the wait :D
yes!
I hope we don't have to wait too long for the next chapter!!
EDIT! EDIT! EDIT!
It's a good story and I've enjoyed the first three chapters so far, but please, please, please, for the love of God...find yourself an editor! The poor grammar takes away from the story.
Thoroughly enjoyable
Very hot! I'm caught up on this story now and I echo the others who've commented....don't keep us waiting too long for another chapter! :)
excellent
hot story, can't wait for the next chapter. for the love of all that is holy, please post it soon!!!
Loved it!
You always add little twists and surprises to your stories.
love it!love it!
pleeeeeaaaaaaaase give us more!
absoulutly gorgeous!!
that was one hot chapter, please keep more coming - and soon!
I really liked your having her tease him by asking him to rub down her sunburn and then taking control the next morning making him lose it. She was too uptight and shy in the beginning so it was a good change for her. It is good to see Jarad feeling a little less confident. Just hope he doesn't decide she doesn't want him.
Positive +
A modern romance take. Some of the dialogue a little clichee but this characteris aside one of the Best mod rom, so far, I 've read. Positive
Ps the English
Is above average. I am fed up lecturing life writing skills to porn submitters And Critics. Capital play. Punctuation needs a New cat. Text Sex. Your only weakness at this then stage in your life is dialogue character match, and consistency. Here building site phrasing might have crept in, but in 21st C term technology. Includes now cross cultural aspects, college ed. and PC. Such research brings life to the tale and adds heat to the sex. Much more than sentence grammar and various italics. Now if this was Pulitzer . . I might have to put my Cam Eng thinking cap on. All this is inspired by the nerd comment more than the story. I suspect I have kicked the same person quite a few times. The adage; 'Get a life'. This is mob text. Purism!
hot :) happy to have stumbled upon your stories.
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