I thought that you had good ideas and developed them well, but your story really needs editing.
There were constant shifts between the past and present tense, which is so easy to edit either one way or the other.
by
Anonymous04/26/08
Lost interest along the way....
I know this is sort of silly.. I mean, I'm reading Literotica stories to get my rocks off, not to complain about spelling and grammar. But I got to the 4th spelling error, and then you switched from past tense to present tense in the middle of your writing and I lost it right there. I couldn't read anymore. I did skip down to the bottom to try and get a feel for the climax but didn't continue with the story. Sorry!
by
Anonymous04/26/08
Know the Pleasure
I really liked this story! I am a married guy who truly enjoys anal pleasures. I began many years ago playing with my ass....fingers and thin "items". Soon I bought a small butt plug and loved it. I kept wanting something bigger! Then I bought a medium butt plug and other medium sized toys. Now I own a fabulous LARGE dildo with suction cup and drive myself wild with it whenever my wife is out! Keep up the nice ass play, Jody; glad you found the enjoyment your ass has to give! Bravo!
by
Anonymous04/26/08
You hot naughty girl!
That's so hot reading about you trying anal sex with your dildo for the first time! I am so jealous of your husband! Please write about when he comes home and fucks you up the ass! P.S. Those guys complaining about your spelling and grammer are fucking idiots! I mean a hot girl taling about fuckin herself in the ass, and all they can think about is spelling? They need to lighten up, and go with the flow!
by
Anonymous04/26/08
I notice that SNOWBELL is unwilling to
state his gender in his biography--I've never met a female who actually enjoys ass hole penetration--The typical remark is "I'm not into pain"
English
Distracting
Hello!~
I thought that you had good ideas and developed them well, but your story really needs editing.
There were constant shifts between the past and present tense, which is so easy to edit either one way or the other.
Lost interest along the way....
I know this is sort of silly.. I mean, I'm reading Literotica stories to get my rocks off, not to complain about spelling and grammar. But I got to the 4th spelling error, and then you switched from past tense to present tense in the middle of your writing and I lost it right there. I couldn't read anymore. I did skip down to the bottom to try and get a feel for the climax but didn't continue with the story. Sorry!
Know the Pleasure
I really liked this story! I am a married guy who truly enjoys anal pleasures. I began many years ago playing with my ass....fingers and thin "items". Soon I bought a small butt plug and loved it. I kept wanting something bigger! Then I bought a medium butt plug and other medium sized toys. Now I own a fabulous LARGE dildo with suction cup and drive myself wild with it whenever my wife is out! Keep up the nice ass play, Jody; glad you found the enjoyment your ass has to give! Bravo!
You hot naughty girl!
That's so hot reading about you trying anal sex with your dildo for the first time! I am so jealous of your husband! Please write about when he comes home and fucks you up the ass! P.S. Those guys complaining about your spelling and grammer are fucking idiots! I mean a hot girl taling about fuckin herself in the ass, and all they can think about is spelling? They need to lighten up, and go with the flow!
I notice that SNOWBELL is unwilling to
state his gender in his biography--I've never met a female who actually enjoys ass hole penetration--The typical remark is "I'm not into pain"
Pfft
To the person who said they've never met a woman who likes anal penetration: I bloody LOVE it!
And I loved this story - well done.
"I've never met a female who actually enjoys..."
Dude, you need to get out more and meet more women...Nicely done on the story. Paints a very vivid picture.
great story needs editing
Loved the story but agree that it needs more care with the grammar. That said, it's well paced and HOT!
THATS FUCKIng hoRNy
ThAT SOuuNddss Liike SooMe GooOd As$ $h!t. I GottTa Doo Itt 1 MorEee TimEeee!! GooD StorrYyy
Very hot
Noah is a lucky man.
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