A GOOD STORY OF IAN AND HIS GRAN,LOVINGLY AND SENSITIVELY TOLD,SHOWING THE PASSION THEY HAVE FOR EACH OTHER,SEXUALLY AROUSING,CAN`T WAIT FOR MORE,INCLUDING TALES WITH AUNTY FRAN---KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK JENA
Was quite good in spots, but could have been better. Perhaps you should make use of the Lit editors. Switching abruptly between first person narration and third person interrupted the flow. So did the punctuation errors. There was very little physical description of the characters. What did their faces look like? What color was their hair? etc. Much potential, but use an editor.
Now you are really saying what you feel,Its a great story Jena and you are getting better and better,I still think you really want to write mother/son incest stories.Give it time and I am sure you will,its a specialist subject which few understand.
Right up to your usual standards Jena proving that sex knows no age limits. I'm sure you have plenty more adventures in store for Ian and his remarkable Gran
by
Anonymous04/22/08
Very Good
A Story worth continuing but you need to have longer chapters and give your characters more depth and personality. Try to create a visual image and story that puts the reader in the hearts and minds of your characters. Give it a 70's feel, not the wham bam 07, 08 we don't care about a story just give us the down and dirty 30 seconds climax. Also split the two narratives, gram's POV versus Ian's. Make them distintive, not mixed within a paragraph.
by
Anonymous12/03/09
I'm in love with Gran!
I'm in love with "Gran!" Another good one, but a little short. Switching from 1st person narrative to 3rd person and back makes me retrace to regain the continuity. But I still loved it!
by
Anonymous12/03/09
Good erotic story
Nice erotic story.Enjoyable and exciting. Keep it up.
the Ct. Yankee
This is great writer who has a lot to tell us. I don't know if these stories are based in fact or imagination, but who cares as I can fantasize none the less.
Keep it up (we will) and post more.
English
VERY LOVING
A GOOD STORY OF IAN AND HIS GRAN,LOVINGLY AND SENSITIVELY TOLD,SHOWING THE PASSION THEY HAVE FOR EACH OTHER,SEXUALLY AROUSING,CAN`T WAIT FOR MORE,INCLUDING TALES WITH AUNTY FRAN---KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK JENA
Make use of Lit editors
Was quite good in spots, but could have been better. Perhaps you should make use of the Lit editors. Switching abruptly between first person narration and third person interrupted the flow. So did the punctuation errors. There was very little physical description of the characters. What did their faces look like? What color was their hair? etc. Much potential, but use an editor.
doing good
very erotic and well written keep them cumin
This Is Great
Now you are really saying what you feel,Its a great story Jena and you are getting better and better,I still think you really want to write mother/son incest stories.Give it time and I am sure you will,its a specialist subject which few understand.
AWESOME
Great work, keep it up, I'm sure Ian will.
Keep 'em Cumming
Right up to your usual standards Jena proving that sex knows no age limits. I'm sure you have plenty more adventures in store for Ian and his remarkable Gran
Very Good
A Story worth continuing but you need to have longer chapters and give your characters more depth and personality. Try to create a visual image and story that puts the reader in the hearts and minds of your characters. Give it a 70's feel, not the wham bam 07, 08 we don't care about a story just give us the down and dirty 30 seconds climax. Also split the two narratives, gram's POV versus Ian's. Make them distintive, not mixed within a paragraph.
I'm in love with Gran!
I'm in love with "Gran!" Another good one, but a little short. Switching from 1st person narrative to 3rd person and back makes me retrace to regain the continuity. But I still loved it!
Good erotic story
Nice erotic story.Enjoyable and exciting. Keep it up.
the Ct. Yankee
Terrific story
This is great writer who has a lot to tell us. I don't know if these stories are based in fact or imagination, but who cares as I can fantasize none the less.
Keep it up (we will) and post more.
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