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English
Because you're a jerk and can't write
you are deserving this 00. What an asshole you are.
Better
Now this is a better earth day story.
Sod Them
They do not know the difference between a wigwam and a tepee,I do" Conchise".I am serious Freddie apart from Chucking the tin triangle around,my secondary duty was CSRO[Combat survival and Rescue Officer,few fucked around with us].I will never forget the so called Special Forces American who set his boot on fire rather than come on a Winter survival exercise [21days] with us.
Mediocre
Okay, dude, we get the point. She's naked. It didn't need to be said in every other sentence. This chapter was very repetitive and didn't really seem to go anywhere. Oh and it's either Native American or American Indian, NOT Native American Indian...that sounds so stupid. I'm disappointed in you, Freddie because I know you can write so much better than this. It's as if my 13 year old nephew wrote this.
Nothing like it!!!
Nothing beats Native American pussy, and no one is likely to be better able to describe the ecstasy of getting it on with a squaw than the master himself, Freddie the Great. After your guys get done reading what promises to be a literotica classic, I suggest you go do the following; get yourself a cheap motel room in Massena, New York, buy yourself a 12 pack of Milwaukee's Best, and walk through town for a few minutes before heading back to the motel. You'll feel like the Pied Piper of Pussy, my friends, and you'll get an incredible night of loving in the process.
Much like the first chapter
Just plain dull. After two chapters there's no semblance of a plot, and your characters are flat and lifeless. This is typical of a "Survivor Contest" story, just bang some words out, and submit it. Some Native Americans view the word "squaw" as a racial epithet. You need to get an editor to resolve the grammar and spelling issues. (e.g. There is only one 'f' in Hefner}. I gave it a 2.
Happy Trails
You know, darksideoflunacy, you said that you weren't going to read any of my stories. So, I created the Bostonfictionwriter's Bashing Thread just for you so that you could bash me. Now, here you go bashing another one of my stories because I left out an F.
You are such an asshole.
Is that why you pulled all your stories so that they wouldn't be bashed? Are you afraid of someone doing to you what you do to others you fucking hypocrite?
Go buy a horse for that saddle and ride the fuck out of here. I already told you that I'll buy you a pony. Just give me your address and I'll have Big Louie deliver your ride to you personally.
Happy Trails
Never A Dull Moment
With Freddie about?
I dont understand this....
....1/2 the readers are arguing about sod houses & the other 1/2 are going on about buffalo skin teepees while he's stupified by a naked native American "Indian" girl! Frankly, SO AM I!
Ok, I'm waiting...
If I don't come to any actual conversation in this series, I'm gonna abandon it.
A NEW POCAHONTAS IS EMERGING
will the tribe circle the teepees. TK U MLJ LV NV
Very Good Start
Enjoyed this a lot. Great first submission. Looking forward to the next chapter.
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