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Wow! Wonderful writing!
You wind through so many ideas and images here and, for the most part, it's cohesive and works amazingly well. To me, there's almost too much going on here and there are a few places where I think a well-chosen comma or a different word choice would tighten the poem up, but overall it's stellar writing. I hope you consider fine-tuning it and submitting it to a poetry journal.
Your poem has been recommended in the New Poems Review thread on Literotica's Poetry Feedback and Discussion forum. Thanks for the read!
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A wonderful piece that pulls you in; it's almost like a process of discovery. Don't let the length of this piece dissuade you from persuing all this poet has to offer.
A studio of a prolific artist
There is so much richness of brilliant ideas and imagery here, I feel like a child wandering into a large studio of a prolific artist, paintings of all kinds are laid at all corners, some are finishes some are not, but all are evocative and thought provoking. As for one cohesive feeling of a unit of a poem -it could be my mental short comings I could not reach that. But I choose to look at this work as an amalgamation of related pieces; to which I'll have to return more than once. thanks for this feast.
excellent moments
There are some stunning lines in this piece. 'silk caught on nails' is incredibly evocative, for example. Very nice work.
So much to take in.
I'm not sure I got it all, even on the third reading. It's really beautiful and rich and moving, lovey. I can see now why it took so long to write and how hard you must have labored over it.
Wow
This is such a rich and moving piece, crafted with such passion and talent. Absolutely amazing work. Beautiful.
If this is
what you have to offer, then I want More.
Please?
In this
there is treasure. Just needs to be boiled down.
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