Ashley Ch. 06

Excellent

Please continue . . . this is awesome and very well constructed. Love the fact that they have lives and personalities that you weave into the story. Read it all and couldn't put it down . . . all 6 chapters. Let us know when you publish the next chapter. would like to know how they work out college and let everyone know about their relationship. What do Mom and Dad have to say? What about the girls . . .? More dates to the mall would be good.

Man!

This is brilliant! The think I enjoyed their public affairs with their friends more than the sex with this one, kinda weird but I love it! The pure and innocent love between them, nice! I really hope you will continue this story! I'd love to know how it all turns out.

Great story

Don't give up on it, I'd love to see some more chapters

Please continue!!!!!! Ive been a have fan of this story for years amd have rear and re read it a few time, so please please continue

waiting for chapter 7...

i love ur stories.. plzz !! hurry up with the next chapter.
thank you!

Chapter 7

It's 2014! You said that chapter 7 was almost ready back in Nov of 2012. Where is it? If you are not going to finish the story let some one else have a try at it.

What A Great Story!

I couldn't stop reading till the end. What a beautiful love story. Any normal guy would love Ashley. Looking for more, please.

Left me hanging at the end

I read all 6 ch and enjoyed them . However I want to make three points: 1. At the end was left wondering how they resolved their love with family and friends and how did their future turn out. 2. I felt dominance and submission type sex didn't over all fit or go along with this love story, the same for anal. 3. The love story was more important to this story than the too frequent sex encounters. In short too much writing was done about having sex than was needed for this story, it detracted from the love story.

please!!

if u r not planning to deliver Chapter 7, Let us know.
But don't grow false Hope for us readers..
Make it clear..!!

Amazing!

I have read the story from start to here but see nothing has been written for a long time. If you are still around please write more as there are too many questions left unanswered and their love affair needs to continue unnabated. We need ti see them cope with the parents and friends reactions and overcome any problems that my arise because of them. My only slight negative on the story so far is the way Ashley behaves like a slut but so long as it's only for Brian then no harm really done! The great pleasure of this tale is that it has recorded a more believable, gradual progress of a relationship instead of the sudden jump from nothing to all that usuaaly prevails on this site and the writer should be congratulated wholeheartedly on that. If you do continue the tale then please avoid the temptation to include any others in their tryst which would only devalue the excellent love story you have crafted. One final thing - the sex scenes have been excellently written as well which did greatly add to the enjoyment of the talen even the rougher passages had a feeling of love and devotion in them. Once again well done and please MORE!

Such a great story

Please make more.

INCOMPLETE STORY LINE

Unlike other comments, I thought the amount of sex was appropriate for their age and since both were very intelligent, it made sense that both would not be complacent with only one or two forms of sex. This love story was a about two very young inexperienced lovers exploring their sexuality. I would however like to see the "fairy tale ending" that Ashley and Brian talked about. Their relationship up til now has been a small catharsis. For Ashley and Brian to achieve their "fairy tale ending" they should have to really struggle, sacrifice and fight for each other with family and friends to make it happen. Too often writers bring in a third person, but this story should remain focused on Ashley and Brian and how much they want to spend their lives together.

characters need balance

Good story overall, but your characters needs work. You made Ashley way too perfect, and her character doesn't grow much. Throughout the story, her perfection is slowly shown as the story goes along. And of course Brian is the exact opposite. He is way too needy as a person. He is clueless and seems way too dumb sometimes. He lacks a lot of common sense, and you made him too weak as a person, that he can't do anything without Ashley. Your character seems so contradictary sometimes. You made Brian seem like an idiot child at times, but he is suppose to be smart. Like the cleaning scene in chapter 04, with the vinegar. I wish he wasn't such a weak character, and I don't see the attraction she has for him, besides having his entire life revolve around her, which seems pathetic. Also it seems like Brian doesn't know his sister at all. Her perfection is slowly shown throughout the story. It seems like she has no personal growth. Isn't there anything that Ashley can't do? Brian characteristics are like shit, while Ashley is like chocolate in comparison. If you ever see these comment, I hope it helps you with your next story. One character is too flawed, while the other isn't flawed enough.

sweet

great writing im not useally into brother sister but great story probly best one so far hope you are gonna finish it as i cant wait to see what happens next keep writing i look forward to it

Overdone

Great idea, theme, and interaction. But please, know when to stop! You show great arrogance by writing a soap opera that boarders on being as long as "War and Peace".
Please remember that most of us readers of Literotica really are just seeking sexual
entertainment, not monotony as someone enhances their ego.

Feedback

Overall I enjoyed the relationship between Ashley and Brian but.....like one of the other readers, in order for the story to go to the next level, they need a challenge.
Personally, I enjoy a story more when there is some conflict and challenge.

You did include some conflict when Ashley and Brian were at the lake. Ashley revealed that she had shared details about her relationship with with her friends. Brian became angry.

Keep writing. I'd like to see where this goes.

SOMEONE FROM TENNESSEE

i really liked the story , but the ending should have involved mom and dad somehow . but other than that , it was a great story !!!!!!!!

Best ever!

I really liked this story for a few reasons: 1) I loved the way that it had an actual story to it with a plot and climax, pun intended, instead of sex, sex, and more sex like some other stories on here. 2) I liked that it was fairly long so it lasted me a few days of reading material. 3) I liked the fact that Brian and Ashley were siblings, and that is the whole reason why I read this story in the first place. 4) The fancy lingerie also really turned me on.

Please Finish This Story

ShiggyMoto, It would be awesome to have a "happily ever after" ending to this story. We're all left kinda hangin' here!!!

I beg you please finish this wonderful story!

aamazing

Finally a happy ending. No one trying to divide them just hope it turns out to be a very happy ever after

perfect

Reading this story was like reading a novel from a book store. Every page led you on through the story of the family and friends. When I first looked at the number of chapters I thought it was going to be another one of those long boring sex stories. I finished the first chapt. though and couldn't stop till I reached the end. The fears and joys of Ashley and her brother finally learning of their love for each other and fearing where it was leading and taking that first step, knowing that it was the first time for them both, venturing into the unknown. It was more of a love story then a sex story. I really loved reading it. I can't wait to read To read the next several chapters as they continue on to collage and living together and finally tell their parents and her friends about their love for each other and that they intend to merry and have a family. Keep up the good work.
oldnhorny

Best story I have read in a long time

you should like make a movie out of this, like a hentai

perfect

I couldn't stop reading this and was happy that they were still together. Hope to read more about these two further in life and hope they are still together with no one to come between them. Please more but make it about there love and no one else. Happy together with maybe a child on the way or there parents finally coming around to idea.

Out of this world!

This was so well written that I felt all their emotions that you put into it. It would be nice to know where they ended up and if their parents accepted them as they were. But in the end you really did a great job and even with its ending it was worth every minute of my time to read it. Thank you most appreciatively.

Let there be more.

As others have said, it would be nice to see how they progress. Do they find acceptance as hinted by Asley's friends? Do they leave and set up a new life somewhere else?

Wonderful Love Story

I absolutely got hooked on their story. I read almost constantly for several days just to finish and then was left wondering what happens next? I hope you continue their story. I loved it!

wonderfuk story

I gothooked on this series and read it for days! Awesomee

This could go further - but will it?

All of this story has been excellent to read.

But it would be nice if it could be taken a little further, as suggested by others. It has been a long time since this author posted (maybe they still are under another name) and it would be a shame not to see more.