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English
Good try yaar!
You got your sights right, for the mold of this story I mean. But the whole story lacked luster.(shine)
I would honour you by only saying this ... that as a fellow Indian your writing is greatly appriciated but it weighted down a lot on the effects. Also having got the story properly edited and so forth you could have given it the flow.
Well, anyways, since am no expert on all this (commenting/critique) stuff, I can only suggest you talk witha few of the Romance section patrons to, maybe, broaden to range of writing.
So, good luck with your pen ... I mean keyboard.
-SpawnKing
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