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English
A brand new poem
To your credit I do not think this poem is actually a reprise of the former poem by the same name.
This one is much more of contemplative overview on a wide range of themes: trying to make sense of ones wrought by routine life; trying to understand one’s (our) lonely stand in life – you certainly put a lot on your plate, but it seemed to hold together despite it’s ‘high brow’ nature. This one is much more existential conceptual ‘meta-poem’; the previous IMO stayed on level ground being more experiential – here and that have happened (poetically speaking). Defying some recent normative judges : this and that are legit children of big poetry Mama…
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I found this to be a rapid fire burst of perceptions that are drawing the reader through a hurtful landscape, at last to find a bit of calm in a backwater eddy and eventually come unknotted. Good imagery. This poem is mentioned on the New Poems Review thread in literotica's Poetry Feedback and Discussion forum.
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In a sense this feels like a stripped down version of the original, and yet, it comes across in a more positive light. It doesn't feel near as depressing as the original.
Graceful language
You pay a great deal of attention to word choice, sound and phrase, and it shows in the delicacy of your construction here. Well done.
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