Sibling Benefits

Good Start ?

Very good writing... but this is half a story. Why write and post half a story ? It shows lack of effort and it's not worth taking the time to read half a story.

Bring on the rest.

This is shaping up to be a hot story. Don't leave us waiting too long for the rest. Just a quick note from the writers perspective, try not to write in the present if you have started the story as though it was in the past.It gets a little confusing, but great start. Keep going.

hmmm

more please!

Bully

Would have been much better if he had not made all the moves . He basically didn't give a homeless sister much of a choice and that doesn't make him a good guy .

where's the rest?

Would have been 5 if it was finished!

I have to agree

I have to agree with everybody. It is a great start and it is ok to start a story and leave people wanting more but you have to choose where you stop very carefully. I think stopping in the middle of sex is a poor choice and it is reflected in the ratings you are getting. you will find a lot of writers on here have chapters to their stories but watch how they end and begin each chapter. The main story they are conveying is finished and they think of another story line that includes the same setting and characters or adds to what they have already written. Finish the story and next time wait until you are done to post.

Okay,

where's the rest of it?

Good, write more

Too abrupt

Good heavens, she hasn't even finished unpacking and he's got his dick in her face? This should have taken a little time, even if only an hour or two.