by sparty_party
The writer has no idea of how to tell a story, and no concept of what a story should be, much less an erotic one. Pass this one by, reader.
Very well written. Easy to read. Loved you first person narrative style.......a nice change of pace. Loved the twist at the end.
...doesn't make my dick twitch. Obviously, you put plenty of effort in the writing, but I doubt it is the sort of hot, wicked stuff that most--no, not all--Literotica fans hope for.
The control of English might be excusable if Sweetie (who is Japanese) were the author. Alas, the author is gringo Hubby.
Auntie's initial act is on comprehensible. It simply makes NO sense.
The abrupt ending was pretty true to life, but why choose that for ending ? Overall, I read with great pleasure all the cultural references. The dichotomy of Japanese public face and private life is ever fascinating.
The mystery of why auntie severed the connection with narrator and wife is what seperates professional writers from amateur ones. I don't want to be too harsh because this story tried to be ' different '. Kudos for that much.