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Adam Loses Himself In M.V. Ch. 04

byPhilcollins87©
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by Anonymous

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by Anonymous04/22/08

Your overall style is very good BUT...

....I'm glad Adam finally got his rocks off but when u wrote 'introduction' towards the end of the chapter, I'm pretty sure u meant 'invitation'. Other than the slight mistake in wording, u r doing pretty good but there's just this teeny-weeny thing. To my way of thinking, your chapters r TOO SHORT! What u've taken 4 chapters 2 say could've easily been said in 2! But that's just my opinion.

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